Fibromyalgia and Suicide

by Sannel

Living with fibromyalgia, FMS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS, the feeling of pain and hopelessness can lead to social isolation, severe depression, and even suicide.

Living with fibromyalgia, FMS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS- also known as ME, can often take over your life and turn you into a shadow of your former self. Except for pain, you have to struggle with impaired memory and concentration difficulties, apathy, anxieties, listlessness, fatigue, nervousness, panic attacks, irritability, faintness, tremors, painful intercourse, sweating, anxiety, heart palpitations, insomnia, feelings of guilt and failure and even suicidal thoughts, ...these are some of the more common symptoms one might meet.

To understand fibromyalgia we must first have in mind that there are varying degrees of fibro. To many the fibro  doesn’t limit them very much. They can still keep a job, do activities and socializing like normal people. To some the fibro may flare up once in a while and last just for a few days. Others may have just a mild version of fibromyalgia. And to some of us, the pain is so extreme that our lives has been totally destroyed. 

BUT YOU DON’T LOOK SICK!

The one thing that makes fibromyalgia so hard to live with is the fact that you do not look sick. Fibromyalgia is also called the invisible disease.So even the people closest to you have a hard time to understand your situation. Usually, people who are suffering from fibromyalgia, try their best to give an appearance that nothing is wrong with them. They take extra care to look their best and when they meet people, they sound and look very cheerful, hiding the pain and exhaustion they really feel. However, that takes very much of our energy, so often we try to avoid socializing all together. This behavior usually after some time becomes a quality of life where you get more and more isolated from family, friends and finally the world.  

tears

Even the tear that trickle down my cheek is painful. . .

I am suffering from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome myself. It's such a painful thing in my life and it has taken most of the enjoyment out of my life. Stress and anxiety will make my pain and thoughts to commit suicide to increase. Almost every fibromyalgia patient have thoughts of suicide. If you have fibromyalgia and are not thinking about it, you most likely have a milder case.

Except for the physical torment, I mentioned earlier, there is also the emotional pain of misunderstanding and/or lack of knowledge from family and friends. Perhaps rejection from spouse or your loved one. In many cases there could be financial and social ruin, since persons with fibromyalgia often lose their jobs. The overwhelming feeling of pain and hopelessness, combined with feelings of failure, guilt and broken dreams can lead to social isolation, severe depression, and even suicide.  

 

 

Fibro

The severity of Fibro-fog varies from day to day and from person to person.

Symptoms of Fibro-fog:
  •  Inability to concentrate
  •  Mental confusion and fatigue
  •  Impaired thinking
  •  Inability to recognize familiar surroundings
  •  Inability to comprehend written or spoken words
  •  Absentmindedness
  •  Loss of short-term memory
  •  Disorientation
  •  Trouble with directions
  •  Short attention span (seems like ADHD; sometimes speaking over others)
  •  Acquired dyslexia (includes difficulty speaking known words)   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As soon as you start living, the symptoms and the pain will get even worse. . .

Living with fibromyalgia is a 24 hour, 7 days a week painful life. On the rare occasion that we feel almost normal, we will over do it because we are so extremely happy and excited that we actually are able to do something other than just lay in bed. However, this feeling usually does not last long, because as soon as you start living, the symptoms and the pain will get even worse. In my case, it forces me to be completely inactive for days, and with a mental state of complete exhaustion. 

Before you reach the stage, when you actually know what's wrong with you, it may take years of struggling, going to one doctor after another, until you finally find someone who has the knowledge and understanding about fibromyalgia. As soon as you have been diagnosed, it helps you mentally, because you finally know what's wrong with you, but it will also bring you grieve, knowing this treacherous pain will be your constant companion for the rest of your life. The thought of never feeling "good" for the rest of the life is a tough pill to swallow. 

The cause for fibromyalgia is unknown

Possible causes or triggers include:

  • Abnormal pain response - areas in the brain that are responsible for pain may react differently in fibromyalgia patients
  • Emotional or Physical trauma
  • Infection, such as a virus, although none has been identified
  • Sleep disturbances 

  

 

We have to take one hour at the time.

The pain and this isolation brought on by the constant all-consuming pain and exhaustion can sometimes be too much to bear. I'm sure the thought; how wonderful it would be not to wake up in the morning, has crossed the minds of people who are suffering from fibromyalgia. I say this because that thought crosses my mind almost every day. It is an everyday struggle to accept that we actually have to live this way. And believe me, it's not easy. We have to take one day at the time, or as in my case, one hour at the time. It becomes a quality of life issue. I have learned to make the most out of that hour or hours when I feel almost normal, like laughing and speaking on the phone with friends. 

It's difficult for “normal” people to understand us

I know there will be times when I feel so weak, tired and sad that I can't cope with it alone, but when those times come, it is reassuring to know that I can turn to support groups on-line, there people with fibromyalgia can talk and help each other out. People with fibromyalgia need to talk to others with the same disease, who understand your situation as much as yourself,  since it's difficult - or quite impossible, for “normal” people to understand us. 

tears

Life is after all incredible. . . the good. . . and the bad

Fibromyalgia is a horrible disease to live with. It has left me weak and frail, but I always manage to get through the day, with the hope that someday I will get my old self back. And until that day comes, I will help help out as much as I can to help others in the same situation. I Just Can't Say It Enough, but life is incredible. . .  the good. . . and the bad. To take our own life is not right, It means this horrible disease has prevailed. Everyday I push myself to concentrate on the good things in my life and not dwell on the pain or what it has taken from me, because, there is still so much to cherish in this life and the most beautiful gift of all is being alive.  

You are not alone. . .

If you're suffering from fibromyalgia, and the pain is so great you do not think you can handle it anymore, remember you are not alone. There are so many of us that truly care and understand, and who would love to talk to you and help you through this, because the next time, it may be you that will be helping me when I reach out for help. 

The overwhelming feeling of pain, loneliness, despair, sadness and hopelessness can be just to much to cope with alone. If you are having thoughts of suicide, you need to talk to someone as soon as possible. There are many FMS support and chat groups on-line. You can reach them day and night. There may even be a fibromyalgia support group in your area who are willing to give their help and support.

You need comfort and compassion to go through your day, and the faster you get in contact with other people in the same situation as yours, the better are the chances that you'll be able to cope with your life, even when you suffer.

  Please, just remember;

 You are not alone. . .

 

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Please, let me help. . .

I would love to hear from others who suffer from Fibromyalgia FMS and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS- also known as ME. I'm willing to lend an ear and a shoulder for you to cry on when things are tough. I truly care and understand, and I would love to talk to you and help you through this. Please leave a private message and I will get in contact with you, or leave a comment in the comment section. . . Sannel

Behind my sweet smile, I hide the painful tears that no one can ever see or feel . . . . Sannel Larson 

 

 

fibromyalgia

Thank you for reading,

Sannel

Updated: on 08/06/2012, Sannel
 
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Sannel on 11/15/2013

Hi Teri!
I feel fortunate that my illnesses struck late in life. Knowing that kids and teenagers go through what I'm going through just breaks my heart. Sleep is so important for our well-being. Before I was diagnosed, I spent my nights awake, or I slept really badly, since the pain kept me from sleeping. Of course, when we do not get our deep sleep, then we can't cope with the pain and emotions very well either.

Something that has helped me tremendously is Mindfulness. Mindfulness Therapy is very effective for insomnia . Mindfulness train our minds in habits of well-being, to generate a true sense of serenity and fulfillment. Mindfulness trains us to see inward and build up an inner strength and peace, which in turn has helped me with my sleep. Yes, I still wake up exhausted, but at least, as you said, my mind and emotions are so much better, and even with my pain, my spirit and happiness is there. Give it a try. Just google Mindfulness and insomnia, and you'll find many helpful videos.

Also, you'll find many videos and sites on the internet teaching you Mindfulness.
http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ric...

You should never drink anything with caffeine in the evening, like coffee, tea and soft drinks, and stay away from alcohol. Drink herbal tea, like chamomile or Greek mountain tea. A healthy diet, with plenty of vegetables, fruit and lentils is a plus, but try not to eat too late in the evening. I'm not a doctor, I'm just telling you what has helped me to sleep. Also some relaxing, soft music may help,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZMoS2...

I wish you the best of luck, Teri!
Sending good energy and blessings your way,
hugs,
Sannel

Teri on 11/15/2013

I am 15 yrs in,

Teri on 11/15/2013

I am on the edge tonight from fatigue, horrid insomnia that nothing the Dr has tried has helped, script/otc/natural. I can deal with it.. then I get to the edge and sometimes its just worse than others. Im up 2-3 days before I get sleep, and then it might be 4 hrs or sometimes a wonderful 10 hrs or so,but I still wake exhausted in body, but mind & emotions aare better.

Sannel on 11/11/2013

Thank you, dear readers for all of your comments. I wish I could give each and every one of you a reply to show my appreciation for your time, and also for sharing with me your heartfelt and many times painful words. Unfortunately, my pain in my hands does make writing quite difficult, and I need to keep in mind, not to aggravate the pain more than necessary.

Your comments brought me so much joy knowing that this article and my life living with these invisible illnesses, have touched so many of you. What a wonderful feeling to know that by sharing my own suffering, it may help someone else not to feel so alone. Because living with these illnesses do make you feel terribly alone when even the closest of friends and family can't understand how difficult and crippling the life becomes when you have to live with this. So it's so important to find other people in the same situation who truly will understand and who can comfort and give sound advice. Getting illiterate and many times the ridiculous advice from non-sufferers can many times be as painful and exhausting as the illness itself.

My advice to all of you who share these illnesses with me, is to find something to look forward to each morning when you wake up, even how small and insignificant it may be. Remember, just being alive is a blessing, and it's up to us to make our days as giving and as beautiful as it possibly can be, even under these very difficult and painful circumstances. Do not look at the glass half empty, instead look at it half full. It really makes such a huge difference in how well we will cope. Life is a miracle! Life is such a beautiful gift, so please, do not let these horrible and invisible diseases prevail, and rob you of the miracle you have been blessed with.

Once again, thank you all so much for your time and your comments. Your words and your own stories has touched me so much.

Sending all of you, good energy, blessings and hugs,
Sannel

Lisa on 11/03/2013

Thank you. I've had CFS for years but have recently realised that the pain in my body is getting worse. That I 'space out' all the time and just want to sleep sleep sleep. I wear my sunglasses inside as the light hurts. I am getting more frequent headaches and my memory is vague. My husband says I should be on some sort of caffeine to kick start me but I've tried guarana and it does nothing for me at all. Yes, when I finally feel almost normal I do too much and crash again. The doctors look at you and wonder what is wrong especially when tests come back all clear. My anxiety has increased since I have been feeling worse lately. I would love to bottle those times when my body is feeling good and my mind clear so I can feel that way again each day.

victoria on 11/02/2013

I think you've hit all the right areas. Thanks for this site.

Wendy on 10/29/2013

I started a blog of my issues of fibromyalgia. I don't have any followers yet, but I would love to add this to it. I have tried to commit suicide over 8 X in my life. Not succeeding obviously... So I guess there is a divine purpose for me to continue on this journey to whatever God has planned. With your permission, I'll add this to my blog. It may just save a life. If u wish to see it first Google wenrella & look for my signature green eye. Thank You

joan on 10/29/2013

Thank you for sharing..........i wish i knew one person whom understood this condition.......it truly is a invisable disease

Gayle S. Mistretta on 10/29/2013

Thank You so much for all this information! I know I have had fibromyalgia all my life, even as a child. I've had suicidal thought all my life, even in the 1st grade. I was brought up Catholic and was taught that I would go to Hell if I killed myself. I'm 58 on Friday, have 4 children and 1 grandchild I never get to see. My husband has been a devoted , patient man for our 34 years of marriage. I had a hymendectomy 3 months after we married, we were virgins. I hurt for years with intercourse, besides the fibro, arthritis, chronic depression and chronic anxiety. A few months ago I really had a vivid suicidal tendancy. I miss out on so many family and friend events. I always wanted adventure and traveling in my life. But watching me age and suffer more and more I don't see any of my dreams come true. My daughters are pushing farther away from me because I've always been so negative about life. But so was my mom and I'm the oldest of 5 and was very over-protected. Had to look after my siblings and house work right after school. So I did not have a social life even then. It's so hard to be possitive. I am thankful to God for my husband and all my babies. I enjoyed them so much as infants and miss that part of my life. Thanks for sharing this page, I'm gonna share it with all my family and friends on here. Many know what I was ready to do a few months back!

Angela Fry on 10/29/2013

I needed to hear this because I was thinking that this was worse than death . You don't die from fribromyalia you just wish for death and don't have a life




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