Fibromyalgia and Suicide

by Sannel

Living with fibromyalgia, FMS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS, the feeling of pain and hopelessness can lead to severe depression, social isolation, and even suicide.

Living with fibromyalgia, FMS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS- also known as ME, can often take over your life and turn you into a shadow of your former self. Except for pain, you have to struggle with impaired memory, concentration difficulties, apathy, fatigue, anxieties, listlessness, nervousness, panic attacks, irritability, faintness, tremors, painful intercourse, sweating, anxiety, heart palpitations, insomnia, feelings of guilt and failure, and even suicidal thoughts. These are some of the more common symptoms one might meet.

To understand fibromyalgia we must first have in mind that there are varying degrees of fibro. To many the fibro  doesn’t limit them very much. They can still keep a job, do activities and socializing like normal people. To some the fibro may flare up once in a while and last just for a few days. Others may have just a mild version of fibromyalgia. And to some of us, the pain is so extreme that our lives has been totally destroyed. 

BUT YOU DON’T LOOK SICK!

The one thing that makes fibromyalgia so hard to live with is the fact that you do not look sick. Fibromyalgia is also called the invisible disease.So even the people closest to you have a hard time to understand your situation. Usually, people who are suffering from fibromyalgia, try their best to give an appearance that nothing is wrong with them. They take extra care to look their best and when they meet people, they sound and look very cheerful, hiding the pain and exhaustion they really feel. However, that takes very much of our energy, so often we try to avoid socializing all together. This behavior usually after some time becomes a quality of life where you get more and more isolated from family, friends and finally the world.  

tears

Even the tear that trickle down my cheek is painful. . .

I am suffering from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome myself. It's such a painful thing in my life and it has taken most of the enjoyment out of my life. Stress and anxiety will make my pain and thoughts to commit suicide to increase. Almost every fibromyalgia patient have thoughts of suicide. If you have fibromyalgia and are not thinking about it, you most likely have a milder case.

Except for the physical torment, I mentioned earlier, there is also the emotional pain of misunderstanding and/or lack of knowledge from family and friends. Perhaps rejection from spouse or your loved one. In many cases there could be financial and social ruin, since persons with fibromyalgia often lose their jobs. The overwhelming feeling of pain and hopelessness, combined with feelings of failure, guilt and broken dreams can lead to social isolation, severe depression, and even suicide.  

 

 

Fibro

The severity of Fibro-fog varies from day to day and from person to person.

Symptoms of Fibro-fog:
  •  Inability to concentrate
  •  Mental confusion and fatigue
  •  Impaired thinking
  •  Inability to recognize familiar surroundings
  •  Inability to comprehend written or spoken words
  •  Absentmindedness
  •  Loss of short-term memory
  •  Disorientation
  •  Trouble with directions
  •  Short attention span (seems like ADHD; sometimes speaking over others)
  •  Acquired dyslexia (includes difficulty speaking known words)   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As soon as you start living, the symptoms and the pain will get even worse. . .

Living with fibromyalgia is a 24 hour, 7 days a week painful life. On the rare occasion that we feel almost normal, we will over do it because we are so extremely happy and excited that we actually are able to do something other than just lay in bed. However, this feeling usually does not last long, because as soon as you start living, the symptoms and the pain will get even worse. In my case, it forces me to be completely inactive for days, and with a mental state of complete exhaustion. 

Before you reach the stage, when you actually know what's wrong with you, it may take years of struggling, going to one doctor after another, until you finally find someone who has the knowledge and understanding about fibromyalgia. As soon as you have been diagnosed, it helps you mentally, because you finally know what's wrong with you, but it will also bring you grieve, knowing this treacherous pain will be your constant companion for the rest of your life. The thought of never feeling "good" for the rest of the life is a tough pill to swallow. 

The cause for fibromyalgia is unknown

Possible causes or triggers include:

  • Abnormal pain response - areas in the brain that are responsible for pain may react differently in fibromyalgia patients
  • Emotional or Physical trauma
  • Infection, such as a virus, although none has been identified
  • Sleep disturbances 

  

 

We have to take one hour at the time.

The pain and this isolation brought on by the constant all-consuming pain and exhaustion can sometimes be too much to bear. I'm sure the thought; how wonderful it would be not to wake up in the morning, has crossed the minds of people who are suffering from fibromyalgia. I say this because that thought crosses my mind almost every day. It is an everyday struggle to accept that we actually have to live this way. And believe me, it's not easy. We have to take one day at the time, or as in my case, one hour at the time. It becomes a quality of life issue. I have learned to make the most out of that hour or hours when I feel almost normal, like laughing and speaking on the phone with friends. 

It's difficult for “normal” people to understand us

I know there will be times when I feel so weak, tired and sad that I can't cope with it alone, but when those times come, it is reassuring to know that I can turn to support groups on-line, there people with fibromyalgia can talk and help each other out. People with fibromyalgia need to talk to others with the same disease, who understand your situation as much as yourself,  since it's difficult - or quite impossible, for “normal” people to understand us. 

tears

Life is after all incredible. . . the good. . . and the bad

Fibromyalgia is a horrible disease to live with. It has left me weak and frail, but I always manage to get through the day, with the hope that someday I will get my old self back. And until that day comes, I will help help out as much as I can to help others in the same situation. I Just Can't Say It Enough, but life is incredible. . .  the good. . . and the bad. To take our own life is not right, It means this horrible disease has prevailed. Everyday I push myself to concentrate on the good things in my life and not dwell on the pain or what it has taken from me, because, there is still so much to cherish in this life and the most beautiful gift of all is being alive.  

You are not alone. . .

If you're suffering from fibromyalgia, and the pain is so great you do not think you can handle it anymore, remember you are not alone. There are so many of us that truly care and understand, and who would love to talk to you and help you through this, because the next time, it may be you that will be helping me when I reach out for help. 

The overwhelming feeling of pain, loneliness, despair, sadness and hopelessness can be just to much to cope with alone. If you are having thoughts of suicide, you need to talk to someone as soon as possible. There are many FMS support and chat groups on-line. You can reach them day and night. There may even be a fibromyalgia support group in your area who are willing to give their help and support.

You need comfort and compassion to go through your day, and the faster you get in contact with other people in the same situation as yours, the better are the chances that you'll be able to cope with your life, even when you suffer.

  Please, just remember;

 You are not alone. . .

 

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Please, let me help. . .

I would love to hear from others who suffer from Fibromyalgia FMS and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CFS- also known as ME. I'm willing to lend an ear and a shoulder for you to cry on when things are tough. I truly care and understand, and I would love to talk to you and help you through this. Please leave a private message and I will get in contact with you, or leave a comment in the comment section. . . Sannel

Behind my sweet smile, I hide the painful tears that no one can ever see or feel . . . . Sannel Larson 

 

 

fibromyalgia

Thank you for reading,

Sannel

Updated: 1 day ago, Sannel
 
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fibro-dysphoric 8 hours ago

Yep yep, it's all listed: Fibromyalgia, CFS, BPD, and gender dysphoria have all tagged my records for years now. (And yeah, the cane gets super annoying. It's also a total self esteem killer uwu.)

I'm working up the strength and "spoons" to make a proper thank-you video for everyone who helped me out these past few days, so when I have the link I'll let you all know. I'm also working on an article for here and an intro post for my WordPress account as we speak.

:)

frankbeswick 10 hours ago

Great news, Drew. We are all glad to have you. People on Wizzley write about their specialisms/interests/life experiences. We each develop a small niche with a few subjects, so think about yours and what you have to say.Fibromyalgia is one niche, but it is not the only one available to you. I don't know if we have any other transgendered people on Wizzley, but the transgender experience is important and needs to be expressed. Gender dysphoria is a subject that concerns me and I want to know more about it.

With the book that you were writing, try to finish it, but you might have to go over it again, as you could have lost your thread.

Also join a local writer's circle/group. they can be so helpful.

Aythrea 11 hours ago

Hey Drew,
I'm glad to see you're up and about. Depression is a right royal pain in the ass and it's very easy to get sucked down that hole.

There are resources out there for you. Perhaps that's something to discuss around here somewhere.

If it's documented in your medical history that you do indeed have fibro (and it sounds like it is) then you need to start towards medical disability. You've listed a cane already so that definitely influences your day to day life.

I won't say the road ahead of you is easy but it's something only you can do.

Let me know if there is anything I can do, or arrange to help you out.

Sannel 1 day ago

Drew, you keep surprising me! You're a constant source of amazement, that's for sure. . . Wow!
:-) :-) :-)
Before you go to bed, I just want to let you know, how proud I am of you. You're strong and a fighter.
You have made me real happy, so thank you.
xoxoxo
Good night!

Sannel

Sannel 1 day ago

Hi Drew! I'm thrilled to see you. Welcome! Wow, did you do that sketch? It's fantastic! What a talent!
I wish you the best of success in your writing career.
I can't wait to read your first wizzley.
Take care,
Sannel

JoHarrington 1 day ago

Hi Drew! Glad to see you here and writing. I guess this is a proper welcome to Wizzley moment! THAT is a quick sketch. 'kin Hell... Looking forward to reading your stuff.

cmoneyspinner 1 day ago

No I don't suffer from this ailment but know someone who does (or perhaps did. Not sure since if she is still alive. I lost contact with her after I left the job where I met her.) You are right. She didn't “look” sick. But there are many people suffering who don't “look” like they are in pain.

Chronic pain, waking up day after day to it, can make a person want to end it all. But please don't! Life is precious. Really! It is!! The reality is there are many ill people who have accomplished more in their frail physical lifetime in pain, than perfectly healthy normal people who didn't have a care in the world, yet they squandered their valuable time and are burdened with regret.

It is all in the mindset. Whine all the time and ask “Why me?” Expect others to give a crap. (Truthfully most people won't.) OR … Wake up each and say “Yeah! I'm still here! Not gonna get rid of me that easy! HAH! What can I do today?”

Sannel 2 days ago

I just wanted to put in writing my gratitude to each and every one of you, who left such kind and encouraging comments to Drew. It's heartwarming to see so many people show their support. It's always wonderful to see people who really care. It is in joining together that we make the difference, and in this case, I hope our support will make a difference in Drew's life. We can now only keep Drew in our prayers, that he'll find the help he needs. Hopefully, we'll hear from him again.

Drew, please know that you're not alone. We are all here for you. I think you are absolutely wonderful for reaching out here because by doing that, you may help someone in a similar situation, but who doesn't have the strength or courage to do so. I'll help you in any way I can. I know it’s hard but stay strong. There is still so much to cherish in this life and the most beautiful gift of all is being alive.

Thank you again for all your help and numerous words of encouragement..
Hugs,
Sannel

susansproull@hotmail.com 2 days ago

Drew have you spoken to your doctor? Perhaps they could advise you which government agencies could help you out financially There must be help out there. I don't have fibromyalgia so I wont lie and say I know what you are going through. I do know your pain is real. I am praying that you find support. Your life is precious and so are you.

Tom Cornett 2 days ago

Drew.....Reach out for help locally. I work with people who have been in similar situations. They pulled through with assistance and many are now independent. Take advantage of every program that is available. A woman in our program just received her Bachelor's Degree. She suffers from chronic pain and other disabilities. She is entering the medical profession. I don't know where you're located but there are social programs around the world set up to help. Local hospitals or social assistance offices usually have the information and contacts you need. You can have a home. You can have a career. You can make it. Please....live.




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