How to Say No - The Best Way to Just Say No

The most vital step to saying no successfully is to break free from the reputation you've developed as being an easy mark.  How?  Start saying no!  It's easy, you just say no, more on the how later in this article.

People are creatures of habit just as you've gotten in the habit of saying yes to quickly, others have gotten in the habit of expecting to get a yes from you. These people get lazy and comfortable checking their go to list of people, like you, who always say yes. Get yourself off the list and you find yourself facing request less and less until not at all, more on this later as well.  But for now understand you have no obligation to say yes, people ask you because you say yes, got it? The key to saying no is to avoid saying yes with the all to familiar knee jerk response.

How to Get Off the List

1. When people, anyone, asks you to do something pause and ask them to repeat themselves. Simply say, I'm sorry what is it you are asking? Doing this does two things, lets them know you're giving it careful thought plus makes them rethink their request. This puts them on the spot, not you!  This simple move puts you on the not so easy yes list as you're taking the spot light off of your response and better yet on their request, which is typically not something they would expect of you, this points that out!
2. As they repeat the request look intently at them, this keeps the focus on them, and their request not you taking the pressure off you to say yes.  Once they're done pause with a very thoughtful look of contemplation on your face, looking away from them as if in intense thought, possibly rubbing your chin, turn back to look at them and ask, "when is it"?  They again are in the hot seat.  Once they tell you the date or when they need it done, you simply say, "No, can't".  Keeping it this simple is the magic and power of saying a successful no.
3. The person making the request will be left silent and moving on. Rarely do you get any questions as to why you can't. If so just say, "It's out of the question for me" .  Key here is to re-train people to realize you are not obligated to them.  Be as short and sweet as you can sticking to the simple conversation techniques outlined here. 

Like my grandfather always says, "If it ain't worth doing right, it ain't worth doing"!  If you're not totally into it you will not do it right, just stick to the no.  You're going to love how good this feels.

Enjoy, Katie