Old Wives Tales and Funny Hillbilly Sayings

by katiem2

Enjoy a long list of old and funny wives tales and hillbilly sayings from way back. A list of old wives tales and funny hillbilly sayings.

Old Wives Tales - Do I ever have a fun list of flash backs in time, enjoy my funny sayings and old wives tales. Hillbillies are sum funny people. Not only do I have a list of old wives tales but I've got an even longer list of funny hillbilly sayings that'll have you slapping you thigh and rolling on the floor. Laughter is the best medicine so prepare your self to get a healthy dose of laughter wit a few side splitting wives tales tossed in.

Oh and here’s a few wives tales just to get you started;

Old Wives Tales

Funny and Old Timey Wives Tales
  1. What you say about other people kids you’ll get back in your own.
  2. If you get wet while washing dishes you’ll marry a drunk.
  3. If you lift your feet for someone to sweep you’ll never marry again.
  4. Coffee stunts your growth
  5. Hard work is good for the soul
  6. Burnt food makes you purdy
  7. If your right hand itches you're getting money
  8. If your left hand itches you're losing money
  9. Tell a bad man every day he's a great man and he'll become a great man

Any Hillbillies in Your Family

Do you have any hillbillies, rednecks, hicks or hilljacks in your family?

Funny Hillbilly Stories

The list of funny hillbilly, redneck,hick and old timey sayings make a very long list?

You will no doubt want to save this page to your favorites as I promise there are some treasures here you won't want to lose.  First let me give you a bit of background info on this collection of old wives tales and funny sayings.  It all started one day while driving with my daughter in the car, now the story from the beginning.

What is a Hick, one thing I can talk about with some authority is hillbillies, hill jacks, rednecks, hicks and funny related stuff. 

I came from a long line of folks down yonder in Arkansas where my Dad was born and raised. Some of um cuter than a speckled pup wise sum of um looks like they dun went and fell out the ugly tree hittin ever branch on the ways down. 

Weeze from a few other places but I'm not gonna mention them cause I don't wanna get a whooopin!

Now I often talk about my real roots you know my dna and xyz and all but as my daughter often reminds me it’s were you're raised and get your up bringing that most influences you. 

I've decided to write down all the funny stuff I remember from my childhood southern influences and such. It’s the funny dark side those havin an inner hick, redneck or hillbilly laugh about and those who haven’t laugh about as well.

But the bottom line is laughter is the best medicine and I’m sure it’s something every hick, hillbilly or redneck can be proud of.

So I'm gunna take you back to when heck was a pup and ever porch swang wuz in the good company of a big ole mason jar filled to the brim with some of Momma's good ole sweet tea.

Watch Yer Mouth

Now heck fire yuns know I don’t cuss cuz I’ve never wanted my two little girls to cuss. Sides that I learned from my older brother you get yer mouth washed plum out with soap if you do, and then chased around by a crazed switch!

Now yous may as well know i growed up with three rotten brothers and that be the reason I'm meaner than a striped ass ape, so forgive me if I get a bit rascally.

Well the memories of my brothers forever blowing bubbles is the reason I became famous for using other creative terms to cuss and well my daughters have learned that instead.

My daughter came up with “what the cheese”, "what the flip", "cheeze it" instead of the other more commonly heard phrases. 

Today we were driving to the store and she saw something odd and said a new one.

I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce the new phrase my daughter just invented today, what the hick on 4-10-10 instead of the ever popular what the H---

I loved it and claimed I’m gonna use from here on out. Plus this is my new phrase of expressing intense reactions or feelings.

So, What The Hick you waiting for read these funny phrases and let me know what you think, you may even want to add a few of your own in the comments section below.

 

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Funny Redneck and Hillbilly Sayings

Things you'd hear in the good ole days.

Things I heard as I grew up;

  • I'd say, hea where'd you get that" and hear, "at the gettin place you'd been there yud got one too
  • Someone may ask, "Where'd you get that", you reply, "At the gettin place, you'd been there yud a got some to"
  • She ain’t no bigger than a cake of soap
  • Gonna beat you like a redheaded step child
  • Go fetch a switch
  • She still ain’t no bigger than a cake of soap, after I came home from college
  • Caint never did cause caint never tried
  • Ain’t work brittle
  • Want in one hand and pee in the other see which fills up fastest
  • To dumb to pour pee out a boot with directions on the heal
  • Wise archer
  • Usins goin ya’ll come
  • Dumber than a box of rocks
  • A bubble off plum
  • Rid up this mess
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Funny Old Timely Sayings

Old timey redneck hillbilly sayings.
  • Don’t take any wooden nickels
  • I’ll give you something to cry about
  • I’m gonna knock you into next week
  • I’ve already forgot more than you know
  • Grab a cold tater and wait
  • Burnt food makes you pretty
  • If you eat that your hair will turn red.
  • It’ll cure what ails ya
  • Oh really Dick Tracy
  • Oh really Chic Tracy
  • You don’t say
  • L – I – B Dang
  • Drunker than Cooter Brown (I never figured out who Cooter Brown is)
  • More than livers got pills
  • Ain't that a hoot
  • Longer than a witches dream
  • Colder than a well diggers bum
  • Hotter than a fire cracker
  • Bold as brass
  • Don’t squat with your spurs on,
  • dumb as a post,
  • doesn't have a pot to pee in,
  • this is a two biscuit day,
  • when your nose itches, someone's coming to see you with a hole in their britches,
  • that's where Tony throwed the mule,
  • Katie bar the door,
  • he's like a blister--doesn't show up until after the work is done,
  • tighter than Dick's hatband,
  • like talking to a fence post (or stump),
  • like searching for hen's teeth,
  • he's so dumb, if you moved his plate five inches to the left he would starve to death,
  • Fuller than a tick on a dogs ear.
  • Runnin around like a chicken with its head cut off.
  • Hotter than a two dollar pistol.
  • Sweatin like a whore in church.
  • The door swings both ways
  • Are you shining me or Stop Shining me
  • You’re a sight for sore eyes
  • He's a young shaver
  • Knee high to a grass hopper
  • Look what the cat dun went and drug in
  • ya come up yonder, we fix ya some vittles.
  • you youngins getting on my last nerve.
  • we got somein good to eat.
  • that there girl yonder.

I do hope this gave ya'll a lil chuckle or big fat smile.

Please leave me a comment and let me know if you have any old sayings you'd like to share. Get your smile on!

Ya'll come back now ya hear! Katie

Updated: on 03/07/2013, katiem2
 
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katiem2 7 days ago

thats a peach, love it thanks hun

katiem2 7 days ago

Love it, thanks darlin

angie pence carroll 16 days ago

when pigs fly or when the cows come home

berry 20 days ago

She's like a toot n. A. Skillet

katiem2 on 06/23/2014

cpietsch, Now that theres a goodin

cpietsch on 06/18/2014

crazier than a pig in a peach orchard

katiem2 on 04/23/2014

Edna, That's a goodin

edna chapman on 02/12/2014

GONNA SLAP THE TASTE OUTTA MOUTH

katiem2 on 03/19/2013

georgettejohn, Thanks for the great additions to old sayings and wives tales.

georgettejohn on 03/19/2013

"Stupid see, stupid do" "If it ain't broke...don't fix it" (usually referring to an annual physical) "That's just ducky" " Well flip my blip" and when the meat isn't tender..."Tougher where there ain't none". Great article K! Brought me back in time!




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