How to Prepare for a First Year at College

The first day that I walked onto campus, I thought I had made a terrible mistake. This all seemed a long way from home, and I'm not referring to mere miles.

I registered my paperwork with the front office, then explored the Student Union. All around me were people with middle class accents and conservative clothes. They didn't speak to me.

After a couple of hours of wandering around with a growing sense of dread, I found a quiet spot, hidden from the world behind towering metal bins.  Perched on a low wall, I assessed my options. They appeared bleak.

I'd given up a job for this. I was staring three years further education in the face, amongst people who weren't my sort of people. I'm not ashamed to say that I shed a couple of tears.

Then a voice piped up, making me jump. "Hey! What's all this fuss about?"  His was a broad Scouse accent. He was further away from home than me. 

I was so startled that it didn't even occur to me to question what he was doing hiding behind the bins too.  (It turned out later, after several months had sealed our friendship into such confessions, that he was doing exactly the same thing as me.  Standing there panicking!)

After chatting for a bit, we decided to move this conversation into the bar.  The building no longer felt half so intimidating, now that I had someone with whom to chat about the enormity of the situation.

Paul became my first friend in this brave, new world.  He was by no means my last.  Some of the people I met there are still my closest allies over twenty years later.

My first, very practical tip is to load your 'phone or other mp3 player with your very own music. Something up-beat and familiar is key.

College and university will be an exciting, exhilarating experience, but crossing the threshold onto campus is nerve-wracking for even the most confident of souls.  By having a good tune ready at the touch of a button, you have carried a little piece of home in there with you.

Let it be the music that anchors you at your center; that keeps you steady, when all the world has turned strange.

I didn't know this at the time, so I had only what happened to be playing as I stepped out of the bus.  As I walked across the green, towards those fabled halls, I was listening to Ned's Atomic Dustbin's Cut Up (The Tartan Shoulders Mix).

Perhaps it wasn't the best choice in the world.  It didn't tell me anything about my life and situation.  It wasn't meaningful in the here and now sense.

But it was the best choice in the world, because it was the one that was there. 

You can't hide behind your music forever on campus. Nor should you. That's just for walking in.  The real value is in meeting new people and broadening your horizons.

Let's face it, we all live in tribes.  It's human nature to want to surround yourself with people just like yourself.  It's reassuring. It validates who you are and, more importantly, what you most definitely are not!

I'm more likely to strike up conversation with strangers who have the same accent as myself. I instinctively trust those wearing my football team's colors. I'll nod and smile in the street to other people with dreadlocks just like me. I can only truly let down my guard with those of the same social class.

This is tribal thinking. It is also the kind of thing which you will have to practice shedding for your freshman year.

Those with confidence and the ability to make friends easily won't have any problems at all. The shy, retiring wall-flowers will find themselves hiding behind bins thinking they've made terrible mistakes.

Remember one huge and vital fact.  Everyone arriving for their first year at college is in the same place as yourself. They might be away from home for the first time. They also don't know a soul in there. Behind all of the bravado, they're probably just praying that someone says, 'hello'.

Before you leave for college, think up some things to say to begin a conversation. Think about how you will make friends, as you explore the campus.

Particularly contemplate what you can say to people who are nothing like you at all. These are the ones who will have the most to share with you in the long-lasting friendship which may follow.

There are many sensible reasons to make a lot of friends at college.  For a start, you're surrounded by intelligent people, which means that they will eventually be the ones in the best jobs. 

It's not what you know, but who you know...

Moreover, they are people who will be studying alongside you, so you will have someone to help you revise.  You can share books and proof-read each other's essays.  Worse case scenario, you will be able to swop notes, if one of you misses a class.

All of which is not the reason that I'm recommending making friends on campus.

You are going there to gain an education, but that's much wider than the things that will result (hopefully) in a nice certificate.  If this is your first time away from home, then you have a lot of memories to make, mistakes to cringe from, situations to find yourself in that you will never, ever let your parents uncover.

During this time, none of it matters, unless you have people sharing the moment with you.  If only to call for an ambulance or a lawyer.

These are the sort of friendships that endure, because you've been there together and forged bonds when all the world was crashing around your ears. These are the sort of friendships where, decades on, when you're all grown up and sensible, they will still be the ones who you call at 4am because it's all gone wrong.

Of course, I'm not advocating doing anything criminal or dangerous. But if you haven't got something that those friends could potentially blackmail you with later, then you didn't explore every avenue of your college education.

Going to college or university is all about broadening your horizons and expanding your mind. Your friends add value to that. They are the ones who, after it's all over, will know what it was like to be there!

You could perhaps prepare by looking up good hangover cures and keeping the ingredients handy.

Two of my friends came out at university.  They had been reluctant to be so open back home, surrounded by people they knew and loved.  So far away, they were able to be themselves without such restrictions.

They received a lot of support from the LGBT Society.

I had been interested in Paganism, but in a 'read it in books, not sure about the reality' kind of way.  I met the High Priest who initiated me on campus.  He did so after shattering a lot of my misconceptions; and telling me things that I'm only just realizing now were very wise.

The Pagan Society kept me from falling into some quite dodgy hands.

Campus societies molded one friend into a priest; and honed the debating skills of another, until he stood as a Member of Parliament.  I've spoken with people who learned on-line political activism, then worked hard at making the world a better place.  

I've known others who were just there for the craic.  They joined societies which went on day-trips, so they could see much more of the country.

What I'm getting at here is that you get to be your own person.  You get to do that in an atmosphere where there are societies across a broad spectrum of interests.  You can be whoever you want to be on campus.  You get to start with a clean slate.

Before you leave for college, it would be an ideal time to sit back and reflect on what your interests actually are.  You've been in full-time education, doing what everyone else wanted for you for so long, that this might take some thinking about.

Incidentally. also think about hair-styles.  This is your big moment to do something weird and wonderful with your hair.  Dye it purple, spike it into a mohican or dread it.  You won't be encouraged to do that later, when there are job interviews to consider!

I've made this sound like college will be one long party from start to finish, punctuated with the occasional stresses of papers and exams.  That's because it is.  But that isn't necessarily the case.

There are many students who simply put their heads down and work hard.  They emerge with brilliant grades, but no different to when they went in.  A little more academically adept and slightly older, that's all.

In preparing for college, I wish merely to point out that this is an opportunity for much more than that.  It's up to you what you decide to do with those chances; and therefore how greatly college will ultimately impact upon your life.

Whatever you decide, enjoy your time there!