Funny Health Issues That Make You Want to Say, "Duh"

The pollen count is high where Sammy lives. He has a runny nose, red watery eyes, and a sore throat. “What’s wrong Doctor?” asks Sammy.

The doctor says, “I believe you have Allergic Rhinitis with an underlying case of Pharyngitis.”

Can you hear me say, “Duh”? An insurance co-payment to your favorite health provider is the price you pay to find out the medical terminology for “what you got.”

Any other business will offer a diagnosis with a free estimate of the costs and then you can decide whether you want to treat your problem or just live with it.

There are no free estimates given at the doctor’s office. You pay whether you proceed with treatment or just go home to die. Die in this case can mean anything from having a bad day with aches and pains to trying to walk off an aggressive malignant brain tumor.

So … next time you are experiencing aches and pains with cough, fever, and sneezes, ask your mother or a best friend for advice. If they say, “You probably have a cold or the flu.” Then forget the health care provider. Spend that co-payment on whiskey, lemon drops, and honey, and have a great night.

Here are some funny health issues that make you want to say, “Duh:”

1. Organ transplantation can sometimes be heart wrenching to the donor.

2. Death is an allergic reaction to life.

3. Eye doctors specializing in Glaucoma treatment are often accused of using high pressure tactics with their patients.

4. Gambling is now considered a disease so, odds are, there will be a drug made to treat it.

5. One of the most useless illnesses is the fear of getting sick.

6. Watching everything you eat can make you cross-eyed.

7. 100 people suffering from Schizophrenia were polled and 225 responses were received.

8. Depression is good for the environment. It keeps people in their homes in bed and not driving carbon-emitting vehicles.

9. A woman in search of self-fulfillment attended 6 Find-Your-Inner-Child seminars in 4 weeks. She is now trying to find her missing outer adult.

10. A relaxing song to listen to while using a breast pump is Madonna’s classic, Express Yourself.

11. White Coat Weight Syndrome makes you weigh more on your doctor’s scales.

12. Sociologists have suggested that the most likely year in a marriage for a divorce to occur is the last year.

13. Dreaming is nature’s way of telling you that you are asleep.