How to Say No - The Best Way to Just Say No

by katiem2

Having trouble saying no? Do you find yourself getting stuck doing things you really don't want? Learn the simple fool proof way to say no.

Have you committed to doing something you would rather not do again? This becomes a bit of a bad habit. Once the sure, yes or why not falls out of your mouth you feel that instant twinge of regret do you not. That same regret seems to grow bigger and bigger and with it, resentment often rears its ugly head.

There is no reason to say yes to things you absolutely and without a doubt do not want to do. It really is that simple to say no. Follow along as we explore the best way to say no. These methods do so without the feelings of grief or remorse. In fact, you will feel amazing, empowered and free!

A Reputation for Saying Yes

Limit Yes from Your Vocabulary!

You are not obligated to say yes to every request!

A mere fraction of such request should be received with a yes.

Most of us get ourselves into things we want nothing to do with. We later want to kick ourselves as we try to come up with an out. This is a bad situation and one you can easily avoid. First of all understand you are not obligated to say yes. In fact, ever!

Stop Automatically Saying YES!

There are those commitments to your partner, children and other family members that are legitimate obligations. However this group of loved ones takes advantage of your reputation for saying yes. Family members zap the life out of yes people more so than you know.

Think About What Others Are and Are NOT Doing!

There are others you have zero obligation to who zero in on your good nature and take advantage of you. Today we cover the simple strategies to avoid those dreaded yes responses and replace them with a confident no.

You Cannot Do It ALL!

The Best Way to Say No

The word no is one many of us need to learn to use more.

The most vital step to saying no successfully is to break free from the reputation you've developed as being an easy mark.  How?  Start saying no!  It's easy, you just say no, more on the how later in this article.

People are creatures of habit just as you have developed the habit of saying yes to quickly, others have formed the expectation of getting a yes from you. These people get lazy and comfortable checking their go to list of people, like you, who always say yes.

Get yourself off the list and you find yourself facing request less and less until not at all, more on this later as well.  But for now understand you have no obligation to say yes, people ask you because you say yes, got it? The key to saying no is to avoid saying yes with the all to familiar knee jerk response.

The Simple Guide on How to Say No

Break the Doormat Cycle

The issue of committing to things you would rather not is a cycle easily broken, learn how to break the cycle of saying yes.

Okay, so you've landed yourself on the short list of everyone in your circle.  

It is easy to get off this list and that's exactly what you are about to do.  

Investing a few more minutes into your no strategy will save you countless hours. These are hours of your valuable time otherwise committed to things you never wanted, what a waste. Finally your life can be your own as it should be!

How to Stop Saying Yes

Just Say NO!

Easy Steps to Stop Saying Yes - How to Get Off the List

  1. When people, anyone, asks you to do something pause and ask them to repeat themselves. Simply say, I'm sorry what is it you are asking? Doing this does two things, lets them know you're giving it careful thought plus makes them rethink their request. This puts them on the spot, not you!  This simple move puts you on the not so easy yes list as you're taking the spot light off of your response and better yet on their request, which is typically not something they would expect of you, this points that out!
  2. As they repeat the request look intently at them, this keeps the focus on them, and their request not you taking the pressure off you to say yes.  Once they're done pause with a very thoughtful look of contemplation on your face, looking away from them as if in intense thought, possibly rubbing your chin, turn back to look at them and ask, "when is it"?  They again are in the hot seat.  Once they tell you the date or when they need it done, you simply say, "No, can't".  Keeping it this simple is the magic and power of saying a successful no.
  3. The person making the request will be left silent and moving on. Rarely do you get any questions as to why you can't. If so just say, "It's out of the question for me" .  Key here is to re-train people to realize you are not obligated to them.  Be as short and sweet as you can sticking to the simple conversation techniques outlined here. 

Like my grandfather always says, "If it ain't worth doing right, it ain't worth doing"!  If you're not totally into it you will not do it right, just stick to the no.  You're going to love how good this feels.

Enjoy, Katie

Just Say NO!

Lion and a Lioness Standing Face to Face in a Forest, Ngorongoro Crater, Ngorongoro, Tanzania
Updated: 05/26/2015, katiem2
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Do you have a problem saying no? Share your stories of getting stuck doing things you did not want to do.

katiem2 on 05/28/2013

Audrey Hunt, Hi girl, good to see you here, Gardenbella's suggestion is a great tip for unwanted house guest.

Audrey Hunt on 05/28/2013

Hi Katie - I've always had a hard time saying no. I'm going to use Gardenbella's suggestion.

katiem2 on 05/27/2013

Gardenbella, Oh what a great way to say no or rather not say no. Thanks

Gardenbella on 05/27/2013

I've found one of the most effective ways to turn someone down by not saying no. No generally gives people an opportunity to argue with you or try to convince you to say yes. I just simply say, "that doesn't work for me, but thanks for asking:" There is no place for them to go after that statement. I've been using it for years and it is a lot less stressful than trying to convince someone you aren't available.

katiem2 on 02/02/2013

Blake, Thank you I feel it is as well.

Blake on 02/02/2013

Very practical advice!

katiem2 on 01/02/2013

Ed, I understand and realize what a kind person you are however kind people can say NO too and be just as kind to themselves as they are to others. We'll work on that :)K

EdFisher on 12/27/2012

Katiem ! My always favorite! . By being an easy target I know I have been a way to easy mark for this ! Constantly ,I am the one who will go out of my way over and over again! I do love someone who can say no , though ! I have beeb "on the spot " many, too many times !........Ed

Pam on 12/22/2012

I get myself into so many situations where in I should have said no, you are so right it should be easy and guiltless to just say no

katiem2 on 11/20/2012

Mike, Glad to have helped you come to know how easy it can be to say no.

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