She: a Prose Poem

by uninvitedwriter

A semi-autobiographical prose poem based on a woman's life experiences and how she came to a decision that changed her life for the better.

Life is made up of so many events and challenges. What we do with what we have experienced makes us the people we are today and it often seems as if what happened was always meant to be. My life has been filled with so many different experiences and at times I have almost felt like giving up; but I carry on.

Sand sculpture
Sand sculpture

She thought she had her whole life figured out by the time she was 40

She had a good career, lived in one of the most vibrant cities in the country and she had a thriving social life

Then came her “annus horribilis”

She was diagnosed with breast cancer

Her cat was diagnosed with liver cancer

In the middle of her treatment, Princess Diana was killed. She watched all the coverage and the funeral since she was not working. She had always felt some kind of kinship with Diana.

Just before Christmas of the same year, just after her own cancer treatments ended, her mother was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and died within eight weeks

Her mother had lived with her for the past five years and all of a sudden the apartment was so empty. She got tired of staring at the same walls day after day, she got tired of the long commute to and from work, and she wanted to experience downtown living for once.

She moved into an apartment building in the heart of the city within walking distance of work where she inherited the neighbours from hell with paper thin walls, a dance club nearby that blared music at 2am until someone was killed and it was finally closed down and some noisy festival on the street every weekend of the summer. Not to mention elevators that constantly broke down.

Living downtown was great though, walking to restaurants, walking to movies, window shopping, and a coffee shop on every corner.

Blue Nude, c.1902
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Work began to be hard to deal with. She had appreciated the fact they allowed her to take an entire year off when she was ill. However, she had put up with years of stress from a psycho manager and his minions. She thought when he left it would be better, but his replacement had his toadies too. Her cat lived a couple of years longer, the key to her change of attitude at work was a new boss and the fact that he would not let her take the day off after she had had to have the cat put down.

Then came 9/11

All of a sudden, she wanted to be with family.

That winter of 2011 was one of the worst in the city. She had developed mobility problems over the years and the final decision to move came after one particularly bad snowstorm while she was at work. She could not plow through the snow to cross the street when she was walking home. She had to have a woman help her across the street. She did hang in a bit longer but eventually gave her notice at work; she moved to the West Coast and lived with her sister.

After a year, she had had enough of family and the fact she could not find work in her field and moved back East to a new job in another city. It was in her field, but the pay was a lot less than she was used to. That job was soul destroying. After 2 years she moved to another city and another new job. This one seemed promising, even if it paid a bit less.

But…six years later and she was without a job.

She was over 50, had no savings other than her retirement fund that she could not touch, and could not find a job.

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No one wanted her it seemed

She decided she had to take matters into her own hands and reinvent herself.

For most of her life she had lived in the same city and had played it safe. Her big change in life did not work out as she expected and she often felt her life was worse than it was before she took chances. She knew that there must be a reason for all this. She had seen enough Oprah to know that everything in life happened for a reason.

However, she did not know her reasons yet. She often wondered if she had done something terrible in a previous life and was being punished for it.

But, she also knew that she was better off than so many people. She was aware of herself and of her capabilities, even if no one else was. So many never took a chance and never knew what they could do. They lived safe, uneventful lives and never really had to examine themselves.

Her various jobs over the past years had allowed her to meet new people in each place who became good friends. Maybe that was one reason for her moving.It is said everyone who comes into your life changes it and adds to it.

She believed it.

 

Updated: 08/30/2012, uninvitedwriter
 
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sheilamarie on 08/31/2012

Thanks for sharing this. I hope you do write that next chapter.

uninvitedwriter on 08/30/2012

We shall see what is next :)

Ragtimelil on 08/30/2012

Boy, can I ever relate!! But what happens next? Is there another chapter?

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