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Homeschooling Socialization: An Oxymoron?
Homeschooling & socialization is like peanut butter & old shoes, according to most people! In reality, the peanut butter of homeschool goes great with the jelly of socialization.
The "S" Question
Everyone's first question to homeschoolers is always "what about socialization?"
If you homeschool your children, or if you are homeschooled, then you have surely heard the "S" question: but what about socialization? It seems that most people who don't homeschool think of it almost as a "gotcha!" question - unanswerable, and as such, a complete reason in itself not to homeschool.
But every homeschooler knows that socialization is pretty much a nonissue - socialization in homeschools happens naturally and in a much more productive and beneficial way than can ever happen in the fabricated environment of an institutional school.
Homeschooling Socialization T-Shirts
Admit it, homeschoolers - you know you've wanted to answer this way at least once!
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| Forgot the Socialization Price info |
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| I'm Supposed to Be Socialized? Price info |
The Truth About Homeschool and Socialization
Institutional schools do not offer socialization in a real-world setting.
The truth is, the "socialization" that takes place in public schools is frequently negative and even at its best, does not give children a true picture of relationships in that oft-cited paradigm, "the real world."
There is only one place in the "real world" of adult life where a person has no choice but to "socialize" with a specific set of persons and no ability to leave an undesirable social situation, and that is behind prison bars.
Forcing children to "socialize" only within a narrow age range, and with the same set of persons day in, day out, with little more escape than a prison term offers, is not a picture of the real world and does not actually convey a healthy set of skills to deal with the real world once they are out in it.
Homeschooled children, on the other hand, deal with the real world from day one. They learn to socialize from family, of course; but also in all sorts of real-world social settings from the grocery store to the playground at the park, and from all ages of people from children much younger than they to adults and even the elderly.
The Social Benefits of Homeschooling
"Once upon a time, all children were homeschooled ..." Rachel Gathercole, a ten-year veteran of homeschooling, thoroughly refutes the common misconceptions surrounding socialization and homeschooling.
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Homeschooling and Socialization: Your Opinion?
Can homeschooled kids get plenty of good socialization?
No, school socialization is still the gold standard because ...
Kelleigh
on 08/06/2011
As a former public school teacher, I found myself doing a lot of interventions with bullying and negative socialization every day. The institutionalized school setting provides skewed and sometimes dangerous socialization opportunities for many students. I believe that homeschooled kids have the opportunities to be exposed to real world socialization where they are authentically interacting with people of all ages. That is where the hard work of the homeschool parent comes in (getting the kids out there!). Yah for homeschoolers!
kyblueyes
on 06/04/2011
The children I've seen from homeschooling situations are different, to put it mildly. There is no way that kids can learn how to interact with other people in real life situations if they are only exposed to their parents at home. They have to learn how to get along with other people, converse, work out their differences, share opinions, see how other people live - it's common sense! Anyone who homeschools their child needs to seriously make sure their child interacts with others without parental involvement. If you handle every aspect of your child's life then you are going to get a child who is so dependent on you they don't know how to think without asking you first.
There is one particular child in our area that I'm reminded of by this article. He is very different because he was home-schooled his entire life. He does not know how to interact with people on any level. He's not disabled, doesn't have a learning disability or any other problems - he was homeschooled and does not know how to make it in the real world with real people. His parents have harmed his future by sheltering him from life. It's sad that parents do this.
BumbleBee
on 06/04/2011
You say "socialization in homeschools happens naturally " - what nonsense.
Socialization has to be artificially created unless you are "homeschooling" a large group of children. So - you want to completely control your child's input.
You wouldn't be religious by any chance? :(
Yes, it is easy for homeschoolers to get plenty of socialization!
Kelleigh
on 08/06/2011
Don't know why it placed me on the "no" side...I'm "YES" all the way!
BizzyBee
on 06/04/2011
We homeschooled our now teenage son and I'm very glad that we did. What's more, he's very glad that we did!
BarbRad
on 06/03/2011
My Jason thrived socially during the years he got his education at home. He had friends of all ages from those much younger to the seniors at church who called him to come help fold church bulletins. I was a scout, a youth group member, and had many friends in the neighborhood. In his first school years he found it much harder, since he had little in common with most of his classmates. He was a very bright boy stuck in special education classes because of his need for one on one instruction.
Joyce Geleynse
on 06/01/2011
Amen to all you said!!! I homeschooled my kids and they are now very successful adults with healthy friendships and interesting careers. As children, they learned at a young age how to talk with adults comfortably. They also learned to enjoy life together as siblings.
thelesleyshow
on 05/31/2011
I'm going to be homeschooling next year for the first time and everyone keeps trying to talk me out of it. I won't be persuaded, I would rather my child model my behavior than her peers and as far as socialization, we are involved in sports and church activities all over town.
Pukeko
on 05/30/2011
I completely agree with you. My girls can talk to anyone and have friends based on common interests rather than age.
Susan52
on 05/30/2011
You said it yourself - socialization occurs naturally in a real-world environment. My homeschool grads are very positively socialized - people, including their employers and college professors, love having them around.
Dianne
on 05/30/2011
Homeschoolers live real life and have many opportunities to interact with people of all ages in daily living situations. This is real and useful socialization. They play on sports teams, go to the swimming pool, church, grocery store, post office, book store, and anywhere else you would go in daily life. These are all opportunities for social interaction with people of all ages.
"Research examining home-schooled students’ academic achievements have consistently found that they score higher than the national norms on standard achievement tests. So the only grenade left to throw at home-schooling parents is that they are hurting their children socially and emotionally."
~ Dr. Laura, Home-schooling Does Not Hamper Socialization
Why Is Homeschooling Negatively Associated with Socialization?
Why is the socialization question treated like an unaswerable problem?
Why does the non-homeschooling community automatically assume that homeschoolers cannot possibly be properly socialized? Probably because, as children, most of us were raised in an institutional school setting, and it is all we know. All of our friends were met at school ... so if children don't go to school, how will they meet other children?
Well, guess what? People who choose to homeschool love their children and want them to have friends, too. And the parents want friends too - friends who won't be always nagging them about why their kids aren't in school. So in a perfectly natural progression of events, most homeschooling families seek out and find other homeschooling families.
Homeschool groups are formed on a variety of bases: families who use the same curriculum, or who have children of the same ages, or who live in a close geographic area, or who want a study club, or who want to go on field trips together (with the group discount!), or who just want to get together at the park for ... wait for it ... social time.
However they choose to do it, homeschoolers find each other and kids get play time. My own four children, who have never been inside a school building, have been involved for years with their homeschooled peers in art classes, theatrical productions, science co-ops, park play groups, craft clubs, book discussion groups, and too many other social activities to mention.
Every other homeschool family I know is involved in all those activities too. Though new people come into our group every year, or move out of town (just as new people come into and leave schools), my family's local homeschool group has been a stable group of friends - for myself and for my children - for ten years.
This doesn't even take into account all of the other social outlets available to all children: Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, 4H, sports teams, church groups, community activities, and, of course, kids around the neighborhood. In fact, homeschooled children often have more time and ability to take advantage of social opportunities - such as community theater, choir, volunteerism, and the like - and they also find a much broader range of people with whom to socialize. "Socialization" means learning to get along in the real world, with people in a variety of age groups, not only with people born within twelve months of their own birthdays.
Socialization Shirts for Homeschool Kids
Have a little fun with the "S" question!
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| Immunized for Socialization Price info |
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| Will Socialization Hurt? Price info |
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| What Is Socialization? Price info |
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| Spelling Socialization Price info |
As I tell people who ask me about socialization for homeschooled kids: It is less a question of working hard to find enough social opportunities for the kids than it is a question of turning down enough social opportunities to find enough time to stay home and do some lessons!
More About Homeschooling and Socialization!
This article is one of a series on homeschoolers and socialization skills.
More Great Homeschool Socialization T-shirts!
Homeschooling and Socialization Go Together Like T-shirts and Torsos!
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Homeschooling and Socialization - What Do You Think?
Socialization is in the real world, on real situations, and homeschooling should not be looked down upon or as a strange approach. This site also has great articles on the subject - http://www.hslda.org/default.aspx
In terms of children being weird because of home education! I think before making such a judgement, consider if the parents are weird. Weird parents produce weird children whether they go to school or not! And who defines weird anyway?
I did a lot more learning after I graduated than I ever did sitting in class.
When my kids were going we always went over their material of the day which took two or three hours of the evening. It always struck me as strange that they have to go to school for 8 hours to be taught what should only take two hours to teach and yet my kids didn't seem to retain any of it until we went over it at home.
The school system is certainly a poor excuse for teaching our kids much of anything and I'm happy the home schooling trend is taking off so well.
Congrats to you all!
Depending on where people live the public education system may be diverse or not, excellent or not, flexible or not. Our public school system is quite good, and my daughter has gotten a much better education than I could have ever given her at home. However, we have also had an influence on her as well, and as she goes off to college I see our influence clearly.
As I said, I am on the other side of the fence. I believe that all children should attend school in a structured setting outside of the home for at least part of their schooling, because I think the homeschooling parents on this forum are the cream of the crop, and that many people homeschool their children to isolate them from the mainstream of society, never allowing them develop minds of their own.