Acing Motherhood

He held my hand and said “sorry baby! But we need to deal with this, and it is a happy moment isn’t it?” I took it in my stride. I had always wanted to be a mother, but never expected it to happen so soon.

It would mean giving up a lot of things in life, my honeymooner days are going to end so soon. But then this is life and I have always been like this, everything happens out of nowhere, don’t I remember the call from my first job, I had just finished my finals and was lazily lying in my bed, when a voice from other side of the phone just said” Khushbu, would you be interested in joining us?” and now this little thing inside me is asking me “would you be interested in being my mom?” in giving me a new life?” I mean isn’t everything in life just comes like that, without a sign and a warning but end up being the most wonderful things…and when I pondered over it a little more, it just said, “you made me!!, now you raise me!” Well the timing might be right or wrong but it was the right thing to happen isn’t it!, I mean how  many couples struggle to see this day and yes it was a wonderful day when I found out that I was carrying Neil.

I came up to me today said “mum-mum” “mum-ma” and how it melted my heart. I remember how difficult it was to give up that glass of red wine and that night out with friends, but now when I look back at it, it seems like nothing. Well I knew it when he kicked me for the first time, my stomach had little butterfly flutters! N it was amazing, wow someone is actually swimming in there and when he is happy he kicks me and may be does a little somersault! Haha.  That was another milestone when I actually felt this life touching mine. Before that I thought being pregnant is all about morning sickness, food aversions, mood swings and oversized clothes and now it seemed like a beautiful feeling, a feeling that made me complete. When did I last get that feeling? I don’t remember. I was so used to being a workaholic, meeting deadlines and getting drained trying to be the office star! And now is my time to prove myself as a star mom! Haha is there really such a thing as a star mom? I mean aren’t all moms just superstars, taking all that pain and going through labor wins it hands down! Every mom tries her best to give her best to the child! And in her little way, be that star in her child’s eyes. I should admit waking up at night is the hardest part but when your baby gives you that smile you feel like just getting the fuzziest hug of your life and open your eyes wide so that you could take care of the little thing which relies on you for everything. Wow! Isn’t that a big responsibility? I mean you are responsible for another life. When did they say that when we started dating? Or in the marriage vows! I mean all the books on love n relationships didn’t say that it would have just another meaning when this happens. It just feels a whole lot better when you know that you as a couple have this little life to yourself and makes you fall in love again. 

Even when you know you can’t have a couple of minutes to yourself writing your own thoughts, you smile your way out of it because you have a silly little face trying to gain all your attention. When you know he’ll only fall asleep in your arms, you feel like giving up that cup of coffee and the much sought after independence (loneliness), and just embrace the little fuzzy being who wants your warmth, topped with a little love and care. Well, I guess I just figured it out! It’s just right when you take it head on. It’s just right when you don’t think and one day you start feeling its right, as right as it can ever get.  Well, it’s just that acing motherhood is all about embracing motherhood