¡La puta madre y me cago en la leche! ! That is an insult, that you can't swear in Spanish, ok, an insult for a Spanish - second - language - speaker like me! Have a look here for some mind boggling and face blushing examples
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_profanity!
Now off to read the rest of your article, now I got that one of my chest ;-) SY
PS The Spanish friend you were talking to was obviously brought up in a very 'lindo y cortes casa' ;-)