Child Discipline Techniques That Work

There are several ways to implement positive discipline:

Use the Quiet Chair

This calms down preschoolers and young children. When he's crying and shouting, let your child sit on a chair by himself until he recovers. The quiet chair should only be used for a few minutes. The tactic is meant ot stop the child from screaming, hitting or having a temper tantrum. The quiet chair is also good for the parent --- it makes you delay action until you are ready to approach the problem calmly.

Be firm. Even if the child says sorry and pleads to be excused from the quiet chair, make him sit even for a few minutes. When he's fidgety or tries to stand up, let him stay a few minutes more. It's the same as "time-out" for a school-aged child, when he is made to go to a corner or a boring room. When he has calmed down, he is asked why he was placed in time-out.

Kids aged two and below do not yet understand the concept of "no". So parents should just distract the toddler. If he wants to touch the electric fan for example, give him a toy instead. He won't understand being put in the quiet chair.

Use Natural and Logical Consequences

This is teaching them that there are certain laws of right and wrong in this universe and they need to consider consequences. The method is meant to motivate children to make the right choice by opening their eyes to their actions and considering the results of these.

A natural consequence follows the natural order of events. Let's say your child didn't bring a jacket when you told him to do so. If it rained, then he would feel cold and get wet. The next time around, he will probably remember to bring his jacket.

A logical consequence is the most rational or sensible consequence of an action. A child learns, sometimes painfully, what he should have done. Logical consequences may be used on children as young as four. It is also very useful with teenagers.

Logical consequences are directed toward what a child has done, not toward who he is. If a child lied, for instance, tell him only that he has told a lie; don't call him a liar as this is an attack on his person. A parent should identify first the misbehavior pattern (example: being late, leaving money lying around). Talk with your child and agree on a logical consequence you can implement. Say, "If you do this, then this will happen." Then implement the consequence with firmness and kindness. Don't forget to give chances for him to improve his behavior, though.

If your teenage daughter, for example, always dresses up late for church, you may sit down with her and agree that the next time she is late, you're going to leave her at home. Do so the next time she does it. Then when you come back, talk to her and say, "Let's see if you'll do better next Sunday."

This method of disciplining makes a child learn responsibility. It also develops good judgment as he learns based on the consequences of an action. It also increases a child's self-confidence as he learns to make good choices.

This method makes a parent less exasperated or angry because you know there is an agreed consequence beforehand. It also develops mutual trust and respect. 

Do Problem Solving

The key code is SOCS: Situation, Options, Consequences, Solution. First find out what the problem is (example: bad grades). Find out what options you have (ask the teacher to help, ask a classmate, hire a tutor). Evaluate what consequences each option may have (the teacher may be busy, classmate may not know the lessons well, a tutor may be expensive). Find a solution or a combination of solutions that may work for you (hire a tutor once a month, and ask the teacher for help when she's not busy).

Problem-solving will develop good decision-making skills and boost self-confidence.