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Can I get some feedback, please?

Lyrics and Length

JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/08/2012

Hiya

I've had someone off Wizzley giving me some con-crit on one of my articles.  I just want to check here before I put her recommendations into action:

A Trip Through Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this article is already the longest one on Wizzley.  I certainly think it's the longest in my profile!  But she's suggested making it longer still.

I deconstruct the lyrics, but don't include them.  She said that it's quite vital, when I'm going on about them, to actually include them.

I know that Wizzley has a rule against lyrics.  That's been clarified before.  It stops us padding out articles with them, avoids copyright violations and stops Wizzley becoming a lyric farm.  I have included lyrics before, but they've all been me translating Welsh into English.

I did think of including links to other sites, which do have the lyrics, but that's a lot of sending people away from my Wizzle.  Even if Chef Keem says that lyrics are permissible, then it's going to make an already monstrously long article twice as long again.  There are 13 songs involved here.

So has anyone any thoughts about this?  Should I, perhaps, split it into two articles?

Also, she was reading the Wizzle on a mobile and it didn't show the videos!  They ARE integral to the article. >.<  I have no idea what to do there.

Basically, if this was your article, how would you play it?

Thanks in advance.

yours

Jo

xxxxxx

 


humagaia
Posts: 626
Message
on 05/08/2012

Jo, the vids have the lyrics, so in my view that aspect has been covered.

The article is long. The article is great.

As a lover of early Floyd, I am sorry I never saw Syd live with the group - but in my view he influenced their music even after he left - in fact Ummergummer, my first intro, was more psychedelic folk (his influence), than their later space rock.


Https://chazfox.com/
JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/08/2012

First Katie, now you!  It's great discovering fellow Syd/Floyd fans on Wizzley. :)

Not all of the videos have lyrics.  I've tried to use them if they have, and if the quality was decent, but some remain lyric-less.  There's also the issue that those reading on mobile 'phones can't see the videos at all.  I'm not at all sure what to do about that.

*blush*  Thank you for your appraisal.  You wouldn't believe how much I'm grinning. <3

If you HAD seen Syd live with Floyd then I'd have been bouncing like a five-year-old going 'please' incessantly, until you wrote a Wizzle describing it.  You dodged a bullet there.

Syd influenced the rest of Pink Floyd until they split up.  I firmly believe that.

 


katiem2
Posts: 979
Message
on 05/08/2012

It's perfect the way it is oh please don't change a thing besides lyrics often make for duplicate content... 


Katie McMurray
JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/08/2012

Aww thank you. <3

 

You've actually read it.  Do you feel it suffers through lack of lyrics, when I'm discussing the lyrics?  That was the criticism of my friend.


humagaia
Posts: 626
Message
on 05/09/2012

Who do you think will read your article? (real question - not a dig in any way whatsoever).

My view - the title attracts those that know of Syd, and his work. You will not get casual readers, except fellow Wizzers. Therefore it is likely that they will be aware of the lyrics. If not, they are big boys now (and girls of course) and will be quite capable of using your table of tracks to go find whatever lyrics they may wish to.

Keep as is - it's for those that have a mind to find that which is real.

By the way I am old enough to have seen Floyd live, all the way up to the greatest ever live performance of any band - their 'Dark side of the Moon' extravaganza. Every live performance I ever saw from the Floyd left me totally awestruck and exhausted.

My fav album though - 'Meddle', (Oh! and 'Atom Heart Mother')

Fav track - 'Echoes'

But my 2 fav bands of all time - 'Captain Beefheart' and 'Fairport Convention'.


Https://chazfox.com/
JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/09/2012

When I wrote it, I assumed Syd Barrett fans.  The reality so far seems to be people discovering Syd for the first time through it.  It's early days though and they are mostly my friends.

Thanks for your feedback, Chaz. <3

Wow! I'd have loved to have seen that concert.  The best I've managed is twice seeing Roger Waters in concert, though one of those was at Glastonbury, which is always nice.

Any articles in you on those three bands?  I'm always open to discovering new groups.

 


katiem2
Posts: 979
Message
on 05/09/2012

I understand that but any one who reads it will be a fan and knows the lyrics, how could you not know the lyrics?  I'd research that further before I invested time on the lyrics.  Yes I read it and read it some more, its great.  I never once missed the lyrics as they drifted into my head...

As for the first time discovery people, hmmmm gotta give that some thought.  Maybe highlight Apple gift cards and direct them to go listen to the tyrics on itunes and learn them the best way by experience they will after all want to hear them for keeps


Katie McMurray
Angel
Posts: 119
Message
on 05/09/2012

Great article Jo!  I am a huge Pink Floyd fan but did not know too much about Syd other than he was the original founding member.  I saw Pink Floyd when they came out with the Division Bell tour quite a few years back.  We were on row 65 in a stadium of 65000 people.  It was awesome.  Big demon pigs came popping out of the speakers on each side of the stage and the famous bed came flying across the audience and crashed into the stage.  I have to say it was the best concert I have ever seen!  Once again you impress me with the topics you come up with to write about.  

JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/10/2012

Katie - Each song comes with videos and a link to the Amazon download of the song.  Amazon does snippets of each tune to hear before  you buy too.

Unfortunately for my friend, she was a) new to Syd and b) reading on a cellphone.  The videos don't appear.  It looked like quite aggressive marketing to her - don't know this song?  BUY IT!

 

Angel - We're all coming out of the woodwork now!  That concert sounds amazing. I wish I'd seen it.  We could have the whole Floyd career covered at this rate, if you take Division Bell era; I nip back and do Pipers; and Chaz does post-Syd to Meddle!   And Katie cries, because I already did Syd. <3

Thank you for your kind compliments about my writing. :)

 

 


JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 05/13/2012

Thank you, Wendy. :D


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