Alarming News!!!

Thanks everyone. I made it to Mom stayed by her side holding her hand. We lost her on Sunday the 10th at 9:30 am. I'm broken hearted.

Hope everyone and their loved ones are all well. 

My condolences, Katie, I am so sorry for your loss!

It was good though that you were by her side and had the chance to say goodbye. 

My thoughts are with you and your family.   If you need anything, you know where I am. 

I am so sorry for your loss Katie.  Please do not hesitate to message me if you feel like talking. I am always here for you!

Katie -

You know I lost my mom unexpectedly last year and wouldn't wish that heartache on anyone...I know that no words can help heal the hurt, but feeling surrounded by support and love definitely soothes your aching spirit. In all of your pain, I am so happy you were able to be with her and when the grief lessens, you will see what a gift that was for both you and your mom.

I started a journal right away and used it to "talk" to her like I would on the phone throughout the week. Used it only for that purpose. Also made sure I had a lot of quiet time behind closed doors to talk and connect to her (still do). Basically, I stay connected to her in my heart/mind and always will.

Thoughts are with you - contact me anytime....Robin

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling lost for now and yet you are all so right I'm so glad I was with her.

Robin, Thank you that's a beautiful idea I find myself talking to her all the time. 

katiem2: 03/18/2013 - 01:18 PM

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Robin, Thank you that's a beautiful idea I find myself talking to her all the time. 

Katie,

You're welcome...

You know I did a few articles after losing mom, posted my feelings on my music blog, rv blog....I don't know why, but getting it out there really helped, even if that makes others uncomfortable. I never understood this before my mom died, but no matter how much I empathized with others I knew who lost their moms, until it happened to me I truly could never understand how painful it is. It is absolutely unbearable and no one will ever understand the depth until, tragically, they experience the loss.

So I'll say this last thing and then, if you want to chat anytime, let's do so via messages, etc....there is no, in my mind, "process." I love Kubler Ross and she has been my salvation - have bought and read every book now in the past 14 months. Stages of grief are fine....but timeline of grief, Nope.

Timelines always implied to me (which ticked me off) that I'm supposed to reach an end point...cross the finish line, blah, blah, blah. Get Better. It never felt like it was for me, it felt like a timeline for those who were growing weary "supporting those grieving." Like an "ok, it has been 437 days, according to this study you should be over this now.

But you and I know, it is never over and it shouldn't be! Have I gotten stronger, cried a little less, learned to keep living? Sure...our bodies have to allow us some relief or we would fall apart physically and mentally. I consider it my body/mind taking care of me - you're a mom, I'm a mom...our kids need us, even if we feel broken. We have to be able to function and be super moms to them, like our moms were to us.

But my mom will never be a chapter I'm finished reading. I feel healthier thinking of her every day, smiling over memories, talking to her when I'm alone than I would ever feel "completing my grieving" and wondering what's on tv tonight...ick....

So feel what you feel every minute, every hour, day, month, year - it changes you forever, but I've grown so much as a human because I lost her...that was my mom's final gift, making me a better mom, friend, wife...showing me nothing else matters in this world, EVER, except love.

Robin, This all makes very good sense and for me (the creative and expressive type) a perfect way to both honor and express my feelings. 

Currently I can't find the ability to even speak about it, I'm avoiding the many phone calls and messages I'm receiving. It's still to raw, I know this will pass and when it does I will no doubt follow your lead as I know it is something that will serve me well too.

I'm writing down conversations and find much comfort in it. 

Thank You SO much 

So very sorry Katie....your family will be in my prayers.

Thanks Janet

Thanks Janet