How to cut a pumpkin, without a man (or even a knife!)

Up until recently, the only way I've ever successfully managed to cut a pumpkin is to

a) give it to my husband or

b) make soup at the time of month when there is sufficient rage simmering beneath the surface of  my usually cool, calm demeanor to assist the knife in PLUNGING into pumpkin flesh, slicing through like butter and continuing on towards my helpless hand below.

So it was decided by all (at the emergency department) that I needed to discover a less hazardous way to make pumpkin soup, and here dear readers is where I shall enthrall you with the latest in pumpkin cutting technology.

Walk with me, if you will, to the oven.  Now don't be fooled by the simplicity of this method.  You'd think that every numpty would have discovered this fabulously easy pumpkin-cutting system, but after a quick family/friends poll, it appears, that I am a Pumpkin Pioneer.  Unless of course my family and friends are below average numpties, and nobody bothered to let me know.

Turn it on (oven, not pumpkin - that would be weird) to 180 Cel.  Bung in the whole pumpkin (yes without even waiting for the oven to preheat) and leave it for an hour.  Voila, it's that simple.  No! Don't you go and surf something else, hang in there, there is a fabulous pumpkin soup recipe to follow.  Okay, I did tell you it was simple, but think about it, there is plenty of genius to be found in simplicity. I want you to imagine yourself, not making pumpkin soup because you can't be bothered to cut the pumpkin.  Now imagine yourself taking said pumpkin, perfectly roasted, out of said oven, so soft that you can cut it with a spoon. Not only is it incredibly easy to take the skin off, but it has a delicious roasted flavour instead of a watery, boiled, blandness to it which you have to camouflage with too much salt.

Now let us proceed to my pumpkin soup recipe.  We will call this one:

"Spicey, Asiany, Coconutty Pumpkin soup".

In a saucepan, fry one small onion in some olive oil or butter.

Add fresh grated ginger - about 1-2 tablespoons - depending on how gingery you like it.

Add 1 teaspoon of ground cumin and 1 teaspoon of dried coriander.

Add 1 tablespoon of chilli sauce.

Add a clove of finely chopped garlic, stir it all around and don't let it burn.

About 1/4 cup of sugar - depending on your taste

Some ground pepper, and sea salt (again depending on your taste!)

Once that is all nicely browned, add the chunks of de-skinned, de-seeded pumpkin that you cut so easily without a man, or a knife (used a spoon did you smarty pants?)

Cover with water and let it simmer to absorb flavours, mash it round a bit.

Now the next bit depends on where you stand with texture.  I hate anything lumpy, so I like to throw it all in the blender and make it smooth and creamy.  If you were going to do this properly, you would wait til the entire ensemble has cooled, but I would probably go and do something like blend it when it is still boiling hot, and maybe even leave the lid off slightly so that my entire kitchen is orange from the waist down, and I have third degree burns.  (Don't laugh, this has actually happened to me).

Now if you are still with me, and have successfully got to this stage, your pumpkin soup should be thick and rustic in the pan, or smooth and creamy and back in the pan.

Check seasoning, you might need a bit more sugar and salt. Final step, add a can of coconut cream.  Oh yes, and don't arse about with the light coconut cream, put the full fat one in, it's good for you, trust me.

Add some fresh chopped coriander and a swirl of sour cream, a good grinding of black pepper and there you have it!