How to Deal with The Empty Nest Syndrome

by DuchessOBlunt

You look forward to the day you no longer have to be nurse, chauffeur, cook, nutritionist and maid. When the kids are gone you wonder why you ever wished for that day to arrive!

If I knew then what I know now . . .

Five years ago, if you had asked where I wanted to be in 5 years, my answer would have been so much different than it is now.

Five years ago, the children were still at home and the drama they created in their lives and ours consumed much of my time. Gladly, I might add.

Now they are gone and building their own careers and their own families. They have their own partners, homes, families and friends. They are in effect, creating their circle of trust outside of the environment we spent years developing and nurturing.

Good for them! That's how it should be!

Uh huh, I know it, up here in my head. The thing is, my head and my heart are not always on the same electrical current. Every once in a while the heart still gets a jolt when messages from the head finally gets through.

Messages from my heart to my head

  • Tell them you love them - every time you see them or talk to them
  • Hug them all the time
  • Listen but be very selective of the advise you hand out
  • Make yourself available to babysit the grandchildren - and be sure to spoil them rotten at every available opportunity

Messages from my head to my heart

  • Don't call them AGAIN today - uh uh uh, they are gone you old goat!
  • You have to stop texting them when you hear the sirens blaring in your neighbourhood - they don't live in your neighbourhood anymore! They are fine.
  • Don't tell them "I told you so"
  • Don`t repeat the good advice you just couldn`t stop yourself from giving

Copiong With An Empty Nest

No more building for their future. Now is the time to build for our future.

Sell the house, rent an apartment, buy a vacation home that you will eventually retire to. 

Take up those hobbies that got left on the shelf when you were too busy to spend the time and had no left over cash after the kids sports and music classes.  

For me, it's photography.  I have been able to Research the best DSLR Camera to buy, take courses and learn to use it.   I may even build a website and a marketing plan to sell some of my fabulous work to pay for the hobby.

Learn something new; a new language, some new software or maybe a new sport.  

For me, I have taken up Gardening.  The country home we bought when we sold the house in the city had the makings for a beautiful, natural rock garden.  Research, neighbours and friends and a hubby who lent the muscle have helped me create the beauty I could see in my head when we first saw the garden.  

Explore, find what makes you happy, and try some of those things your partner enjoys doing - spend some quality time together.  

For me, I have decided that I will do just that and have taken to the "off road"  experience.  

What is it that you and your partner like to do?  Find something to do together!

Taking Up Photography

My Empty Nest Hobby
Landscape Image
Landscape Image

The Off Road Experience

Knowing Now, What I Didn`t Know Then . . .

Hind sight is always 20-20. No guessing games involved when you are looking back.

Sometimes there can be a "Wondering" game we play with ourselves.

  • I wonder what would have happened if I had . . .
  • I wonder if I should have . . .
  • I wonder if I did all I could with . . .

But now when I look at my kids I am proud of the men they have become.  My 20/20 might be biased, but that is how I feel.

What would I have done differently?  Maybe a little more planning for the time when we could follow the dreams we have for ourselves to be more financially and physically fit.  Other than that - I'm happy to say, I am content.

Now it's on to being Gramma!

Updated: 04/20/2014, DuchessOBlunt
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ologsinquito on 04/21/2014

What excellent advice for those of us with children at the cusp of adulthood.

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