When I was young, I thought of the world as a scary place. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually abused. I never had anyone that I could talk to, or trust. I ended up bottling my emotions, and then taking it out on myself. I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in a dark place. I was depressed, withdrawn, and hopeless. During my adolescence, I kept a journal. My journal was my only friend in the world, and I could tell it everything. It was the only thing that did not judge how I felt. I never wanted to stop writing. When people began to come and go in my life, I stayed close to my journal, clutching it like a security blanket.
How writing has saved my life
Despite the storms of my life, writing has always been my true north.
A burden lifted
Throughout my high school and college years, I continued journaling. I often wrote poetry to express my feelings lyrically. After beginning my poetic journey, I started to feel better. It was as if the lyric form was carrying me through my feelings, and helping me process them.
As I got older, I began to feel years of burden lift off of my shoulders. Years of writing poetry and filling up journals with my feelings, had finally brought me to a place where I could process everything and anything. My world of noise and pain suddenly became quieter and serene. I began to blossom internally.
Going public with writing
The first time I went public with poetry was in 2002, when I submitted my poems to the International Society of Poetry. I was published in one of their books, and people really liked the poem that had been published.
It was not until the end of 2010, when I, once again, shared my writings with the world. I signed up for Yahoo Contributor, and began submitting pieces to them. In 2013, when I began to suffer health setbacks, I pursued writing full-time. I began writing for Helium, Bubblews, Examiner, and many others. While money was a good reason to write full-time, it was not the main reason why I pushed myself to write online.
Writing online gave me a sense of purpose. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning. With my health keeping me at bay, physically, I could still enter worlds and dimensions with my writing. I could connect with people all around the world, and live vicariously through them. During this time, I ventured into writing novellas and books. With writing fiction, I could develop interesting characters, and live life through them. What I was left with was a labor of love.
A sense of purpose
Writing has given me a sense of purpose. It has given me an identity. I'm not just the woman who is sidelined because of her health, I am the writer. I am the woman who, despite everything, finds a reason to go through her day, and be productive.
If it weren't for writing, I would be in bed all day, everyday. I would have fallen into a deep depression, and given up on myself and my life. Writing has saved my life, in so many amazing ways. It has, and will always be, my true north.