Infertility During Halloween: It's No Treat

by sockii

For those affected by infertility, Halloween is another holiday that can be difficult to cope with due to its emphasis on children and trick-or-treating.

Infertility is no "treat" at any time of the year, but Halloween is one of those holidays where it can become especially difficult. That might seem odd to people who have not had to cope with infertility before, but think about it: Halloween is one of those holidays where the emphasis today - at least in American society - is very much upon children. It also signals the beginning of the entire Fall/Winter holiday season that is all about celebrating "family" and can send infertile individuals and couples into a depression that lasts until the New Year comes and goes.

While some (generally childless, single, and/or young) adults may throw costume parties and check out mature horror flicks on Halloween, the bulk of the advertising, media attention, and popular activities surrounding the holiday all involves children: children and their colorful costumes, children going door-to-door for trick-or-treating, kids and their Halloween craft projects, parades around town of children in costume, the list goes on and on. Not even Facebook is a safe escape, as our friends' Walls and profiles are overtaken by photos of cute little Suzie and Jamie and all of their little kiddie friends in costume. For individuals coping with infertility, these can all be a painful reminders of joyful parenthood events they may never get to experience themselves.

So how can one cope with Halloween when every smiling child in a witch or Harry Potter costume feels like a stab in the heart? I'm not creating this page to be a killjoy to the parents who have every right to enjoy Halloween with their children. Just to provide a few tips and helpful links for surviving the Halloween blues, for those who might be feeling the pain at this time of year. Let me share my personal experiences as well as helpful links to articles written by others on this topic.

My Personal Reflections on Halloween and Infertility

I've been dealing with infertility for several years now, and oddly enough I find the build-up to Halloween far worse to deal with than the day of Halloween itself. I think because it's become so inescapable for not just weeks but almost months before October 31 - especially now that I work as a content writer on-line, so in my writing communities and forums I have to read about people planning their Halloween-related articles and pages beginning at the start of summer, and not letting up until the end of October. Supermarkets begin filling up aisles with Halloween candy at the beginning of October, and decoration/Hallmark stores are loaded with Halloween items almost as soon as school starts in the fall.

I live in a very small development in a rural community, so we actually don't get many trick-or-treaters beyond the dozen or so children on our street. While I've contemplated in the past turning the lights out and just leaving a bowl of candy out on my doorstep, I've found that I'm actually happy to see my neighbors and their kids on Halloween, catch up a little on what's going on with them, and then say goodnight. If I lived in a larger suburban neighborhood or city, it might be different to be overwhelmed with all of the kids outside running about, laughing and enjoying fun with their parents like I may never have the chance to myself. In those situations I probably would be tempted to spend the night out in a movie theater watching an adult horror film or comedy, or at a romantic restaurant with my partner where there'd likely be no children or parents at neighboring tables.

We all need to find our own ways to cope and get through it. And there's no right or wrong way to do it, nothing improper about feeling depressed or finding that your moods can shift from feeling angry and isolated to actually being able to enjoy Halloween after all.

Infertility and Halloween: Your Experience

What is your experience regarding the issue of infertility and Halloween?

What to do this Halloween - if you want to avoid it!

Some ideas...

Halloween jack o lanterns* Lock the doors, turn off the lights, pour an adult beverage and take a hot bath!

* Go out for dinner at a fancy, NON-family friendly restaurant with childless/childfree friends or your partner.

* Put up Halloween decorations so scary all the neighborhood kids would be terrified to ring your bell.

* Go on an overnight getaway trip to somewhere peaceful and remote.

* Plan a longer vacation trip out of the country during Halloween week.

Image source: Velquinn at Morguefile

Useful Links about Infertility and Halloween

Coping with Infertility

Books to help deal with the grief
Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility

For people experiencing infertility, wanting a baby is a craving unlike any other. The intensity of their longing is matched only by the complexity of the emotional maze they mu...

$21.99  $5.80

View on Amazon

Coping With Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss: Finding Perspective and Creating Meaning...

Pregnancy loss can be devastating, regardless of whether it is early or late in pregnancy or in the short period after a baby is born. In many instances, similar emotions are ex...

$19.95  $11.77

View on Amazon

Coping with Infertility: Clinically Proven Ways of Managing the Emotional Roller Coaster

Coping with Infertility is an essential source of emotional support for any couple struggling with involuntary childlessness. The book offers proven techniques and real-life exa...

$36.95  $24.93

View on Amazon

Every Drunken Cheerleader: Why Not Me?

If you're eager to have a baby, doesn't the title say enough? Laugh, cry, share, relate - LOVE this book and all it offers to your soul. It's wit, wisdom and warmth from an auth...

View on Amazon

Updated: 04/29/2015, sockii
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