A Computer Can Detect Nipples? This is Science?

According to these dim-light scientists it’s important that a computer be able to automatically detect nipples by analyzing shapes and color variations. Do they think the computer will get turned on or something? Oh, I suppose there might be a medical reason for all this, but the researchers don’t suggest that is the case.

Serious Nipple Work

Perhaps, what is most peculiar – if not downright funny – about this piece of research is how seriously the Singaporean scientists are going about it. For example, with a straight face they are quoted as describing the work as, “first the statistical information of skin color relation between nipple and region surrounding the nipple has to be extracted, and then this information is used to filter off the non-nipple region detected in last stage.” Wow, is that a turn on or what?

As they toil away at their nipple project, the scientists aren’t having much success (meaning 100% detection of nipples by the computer). In a trial with 980 images, 348 of which featured nipples, only 263 were correctly identified as a nipple image. About 85 were not detected at all and 170 false detections were made (calling a navel or an eye a nipple).

When Is A Nipple Not A Navel?

Another serious, but funny, comment by the researchers suggests they are currently working on “firming up the software.”

Someone, I don’t know who, is actually paying these guys to conduct this work and you have to ask yourself – why? What would possess someone to waste all this time and money just to have a computer confirm what you already know – that you are staring at a nipple, or perhaps confirming for you that you have nipples?

Some day there will be a supreme authority that rules all research and automatically rejects anything as foolish as this. Until then, we ought to confine these Singapore scientists to their lab wherein they would be made to sit in front of their computer, bare their own chests to it and each time it detects their nipple(s) it would say to the scientists, “you are a very silly person.”