by AbbyFitz
Everyone wants their first date to lead to a second date. But sometimes things just don't work out that way. After the first date you never hear from them again and you are left alone wondering why.
Was it something I said? Bad fashion choice? I used the best cologne, did I smell?
Well, yeah, you probably did smell, and it was a major turnoff.
What scent can no one resist? Well, bacon of course. Douse yourself with the smoky aroma of bacon and prepare for the best date ever.
If there's one scent that nearly everyone loves, it's the smell of bacon. I mean, even some vegetarians will tell you it smells pretty darn good.
What can get even the laziest bum out of bed in the morning?
Bacon.
What will make you hunt your freaky roommate down like a dog because he ate your last piece?
Bacon.
What will make you buddy up to that annoying co-worker so he'll share his BLT with you?
Bacon.
The secret to making your date get out of bed, hunt you down like a dog, and buddy up next to you is, you guessed it, bacon.
Hygiene is the most important thing to remember when dating. Because, really, no one wants to snuggle up to someone who offends.
Before you ever walk out the door, be sure to shower first using your bacon scented soap. It's guaranteed to get you squealy clean. And at 4x6 inches, this bar will last you from your first date till your marriage proposal.
You can't go on your date with raunchy breath, so use your bacon flavored toothpaste so you'll taste that salty goodness all night.
There's two great things about this bacon toothpaste. One, it's good for your teeth. It tastes like bacon, and that right there will make you want to brush your teeth every chance you get.
Two, it smells like bacon. When you're leaning across the dinner table to tell your date how nice they look, they'll be inching their way closer to you because you smell so irresistible.
To complete your bacon hygiene regimen, don't forget to use bacon deodorant, bacon dental floss, and put some bacon flavored mints in your pocket.
Finally, you want your baconocity to extend late into the night, so don't forget your bacon scented body spray.
The first rule of first dates? Never show up to one without bearing some sort of gift.
And it shouldn't just be any old gift. Flowers and candy? That's so cliché.
What gift can better say, "you're cool, we should see more of each other" than chocolate covered bacon?
Chocolate and bacon are the perfect marriage of the most sought after flavors. Who can say no to chocolate and bacon? You're guaranteed to get a call the next day begging for a second date.
Want to turn your baconocity up a notch? In addition to your heavenly gift of chocolate covered bacon, wow your date with this funny, if not a bit naughty flirty bacon card.
On the outside, you're stating the obvious -- you're sizzlin'. On the inside, well, I'll just let you read it and you can find out for yourself.
And if you're not brave enough to send it in person, slap a bacon stamp on your card and mail it with love.
Who needs new car smell? It's just a fabricated scent anyway. Instead, use a real smell that will knock someone off their feet.
Bacon air fresheners can set the mood for you and the object of your affection while you're driving to your destination. Be warned, though, your date may not want to leave your car.
Your evening should be going great by this point. Why not offer your date some coffee back at your place so you can get to know each other better?
Candlelight is very romantic, but is also cheesy and predictable. But, bacon scented candlelight? Now you're talking!
Set a few of these around your living room, sip some European coffee, and find out what makes your date tick.
Okay. You did it. You wooed your way into a second date, but how can you top your first one?
The secret is to keep the baconocity flowing.
Why not take your date to the beach, soak up some sun, and just be silly with each other?
Just don't forget your sunscreen.
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Comments
Yikes! I don't think these products would be for me lol. I love bacon and the smell of bacon, but don't want tot smell like food. Interesting article!
Thank you Bizilady! Hey, you can't go wrong with bacon lol
Forget the expensive perfume---rub bacon behind your ears! LOL
Funny funny and amazing at the same time. :-)
Lperry, it's true!
Perfect for somebody who loves to be a "ham" out in public LOL
Thank you! Yeah, bacon is sizzling right now lol
This is an article I really liked, and bacon is really popular right now, so I'm pinning this for others to read.
Thank you. Bacon lovers unite!
Oh I feel for you Jo. Drowning your bacon deprived sorrows in the drink :)
The thought of chocolate covered bacon has driven me to whisky. That I should be a vegetarian, when such things are on the market. You should all film yourself eating it, so I can experience it by proxy. :D
*reads down* Bacon doughnuts?! *has more whisky*