In the corner of my living room sits an old, dusty lamp. It’s base is chipped; and the shade, dingy and creased. My lamp is always lit, as a beacon of sorts.
A reminder? A memorial? A path to home?
It is a bereavement lamp, of sorts. It has been shining for over 15 years, and will keep shining for as long as I can keep it going. It is a reminder to me of love known and lost, and the knowledge that one day, we’ll be back together again.
In some cultures it is a tradition to give those who have suffered a loss, a gift of sorts. Some people plant trees, others create memorial gardens, and some might gift an angel figurine, a poem, or candles. You might also purchase a brick, or dedicate a building. It is quite a personal decision on what to give someone who is grieving.
One of the latest gift ideas is that of a bereavement lamp, otherwise known as a condolence, memory or remembrance light. The idea behind these lamps is that the receiver is receiving the “gift of light”. It shines in loving memory of your loved one.
Lucy was a red heeler, who worshiped my husband to no end. They went everywhere together; they were inseparable, except for when he was at work.
One day, on my husband’s return from work, he found Lucy had been hit by a car. Her eyes were literally hanging out of her head! He pushed them back in, bundled her up, and took her into the shed. He knew he should put her out of her misery, but couldn’t.
 Lucy | My husband's red heeler Country Sunshine |
He sat with her for three days, and she recovered! She never regained her sight, but learned how to get around without her eyes. She still went everywhere with him, and lived another 3 years. He was devastated when she finally passed away.
My husband received his bereavement light in memory of Lucy. The base of the lamp is a dog, although not the same breed as Lucy. He immediately put it on the end table, and kept it lit for the next 6 years.
He believed that when Lucy made it to dog heaven, her eyesight was restored. Lucy would be able to see the light, know where home was, and know that she was always loved. And most importantly, never forgotten.
 Dog Bereavement Lamp Country Sunshine |
 My Husband Country Sunshine |
My husband passed away on June 15, 2010, just 7 weeks after learning he had stage 4 cancer. It was a devastating time for me. I lost the love of my life, and way too early! He was only 58 years old!
One of the things that keeps his memory alive is his dog lamp. Although it was originally a memory light for Lucy, I now look on it as a gift of light for both of them. It reminds me of my husband, his love for Lucy, and also our love for each other. It keeps out the darkness and the shadows, and I know that as long as it shines, he will be forever in my heart.
To read more about our love story, read my article "A Tribute To My Husband".
Love is important, and showing it to those you care about, even more. If you know someone who has lost a loved one, let them know you care. Give them a gift; whether it be a gift of light, such as a bereavement lamp, or a simple hug, it will truly be treasured and remembered.
There are a number of gifts you can give to someone who is grieving. Here are a few of my favorites:
Like the bereavement lamp, a beautiful candle is another way to give the gift of light. It has an inspirational message, and is pretty enough to display in your living room. It comes with a candle stand and gift box.
If you have a memorial garden, or even a place in your flowerbed, add this stepping stone in remembrance. It pays tribute and honors the life of your loved one, and is a perfect gift to express your sympathy of a life lost.
An extremely personal memorial, this sterling silver pendant has a chamber to be filled with dried flowers, a lock of hair, or other small memento of your loved one. On the front is an enameled version of the stairs to heaven, surrounded with clouds. It comes with a sympathy card, and funnel for filling the chamber. A beautiful and loving gift for someone who wants to keep their loved one close to their heart.
 |
Another way to extend your sympathy or honor a loved one is by creating a memorial website. It is not necessary for you to be the next-of-kin in order to do so. It can be created for a family member, friend or co-worker.
One of the best sites I've come across is MuchLoved.com. It is a tribute site where you can add photos, videos and music for free. It is easy to use, offers many features, and can be linked to charities. Plus, they will stay online for eternity. I have created two: the first for my late husband, and another for my Mother, who passed away on Oct 31, 2013.
Up until I came across the lamp, I'd only known about sending flowers or cards as sympathy gifts. The idea of a light was unusual, yet it makes so much sense. A gift of light and of love.
Do you have any ideas for bereavement or sympathy gifts? What was the best one you ever received?
Don Piper dies, goes to Heaven, and has an experience that is beyond words. ...
In Memory Day - An Annual Event To Honor Our Fallen Vietnam Ve...Each June, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund honors fallen Vietnam Veterans ...
We Were Soldiers Once and Young. The Battle at Ia Drang, Vietnam - A Book Reviewon 07/06/2017
How to Split Firewoodon 07/01/2017
Suffering From Writers Block? | Unique Ideas To Get You Writing Againon 07/01/2017
How to Get Rid of Fleas on Your Petson 12/20/2016
Your Comments Are Welcome!
I never thought of giving a bereavement gift. I've sent flowers and plants, but nothing more. This is a lovely idea.
I was unaware of the lamps myself until my husband received his. It makes so much sense to me, that I don't understand why I hadn't heard of them before. Thank you for your kind comment!
This is such a sweet and interesting article. I'm sorry you have two such sad losses. I have never heard of a bereavement lamp.