Book Review: Have I Got a Book for You! by Mélanie Watt

Al goes on to supply testimonials -- in true bait and switch style -- from customers satisfied with such diverse product lines as:

• an aqua umbrella for a fish;
• a deluxe dirt vacuum for a mole;  and
• an icebox 2000 for a penguin.

His pitch hints at uncanny abilities to correlate demand with supply and to debunk such rival products to his current push-item -- his purported best-selling book -- as :

• boring dictionaries, mathematics textbooks, Sleeping Beauty storybooks; and
• distasteful cookbooks, especially those entirely devoted to … broccoli!

He intersperses manipulative compliments -- such as liking customer predilections in clothes masterfully highlighting their best physical features (usually eyes)-- to establish emotional connections and foster trustworthy familiarity. 

The increasingly desperate salesman justifies a rush to purchase by throwing in a “Reading is swell!” bookmark for free. He further knows that quoting relevant statistics and revealing survey results can be deal-breakers in:

• appealing to friendly competition among peers;
• keeping up with the Joneses;
• making unexpected, unnecessary purchases seem need-driven, not emotion-guided; and
• promising 100% make-overs, as attested most persuasively in before and after eyewitness images and testimonials.

But customers remaining unconvinced after the above-mentioned strong-arming leave Al with no option other than resorting to:

• recommending extra copies as coasters, disguises, door-stoppers, gifts, hats, height-enhancing mats; or
• suggesting all 742 copies as a book fort, whose duct tape generates for Al additional sales in humungous quantities. 

The grin-flashing, plaid-clashing salesman makes desperate efforts to pressure customers into scrambling for limited supplies. He finally narrows the gap between inventory and sales by dishonestly terrorizing parents shopping with awkward-stage children. Each copy’s last page offers a lower outer edge seemingly ripped by clumsily curious hands and therefore warranting payment by the supposedly responsible children’s parents.

So Have I Got a Book for You! provides second- through fourth-graders aged 7 to 9 years with culturally enriching, educationally entertaining insights into the advertising, marketing, publicity, sales world’s front-line representative, the door-to-door traveling salesman, thanks to:

• Kids Can Press Ltd.;
• Tara Walker, editor; and
• Mélanie Watt, author/designer/illustrator/jacket designer of the Hamburger Font BF text’s digitally assembled charcoal-penciled artwork. 

My special thanks to talented artists and photographers/concerned organizations who make their fine images available on the internet.

Al Foxwood's snarky selling style includes dismissing a broccoli cookbook as leaving a bad taste in the reader's mouth.
broccoli for broccoli and cauliflower toss; 5th grade taste test, Yorkshire Elementary School, Manassas VA; Sep. 5, 2012: USDA Lance Cheung, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons @ https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Broccoli.jpg

Among his creative sales pitches, Al Foxwood suggests purchasing copies of his books for use as decorative coasters!
coasters, from recycled paper and books using wookworking techniques, by wood and paper artist Hannah Lobley: Design Initiative (Liverpool Design Festival), CC BY SA 2.0, via Flickr @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/ecodesignshow/5950728248/

Al Foxwood's pitch for repurposing multiple copies of his books includes the popular evergreen practice of serving as doorstops.
pile of books, tethered with recycled ribbon, as door stop: Lea (kiertoidea - recycled ideas), CC BY 2.0, via Flickr @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/49253034@N03/5960240732/

"Have I Got a Book for You by Melanie Watt" (4:36)
Uploaded October 1, 2010, by ues lib to YouTube ~ URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPaVjT_WPPw

If nothing else works, Al Foxwood resorts to the adage, "You break it, you pay for it," by mangling the edges of back pages.
book damaged by apparent attempts to tear pages in half: Larry Wentzel (Wild Guru Larry), CC BY 2.0, via Flickr @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/wentzelepsy/4368668388/

Watt, Mélanie. 2009. Have I Got a Book for You! Toronto, Ontario, Canada; and Tonawanda, NY, U.S.A.: Kids Can Press Ltd.