Is it rude to ask for money for your wedding gift? Once upon a time it might have been but now more and more couples are making this the first thing on their wedding gift list. In fact, most couples don’t even have a gift list. They have lived together for long enough to have gained all the things that they need. So what do you do when someone asks you for a gift list? Here are a few tips.
Don’t Have a Wedding Gift List: Tips to Help Your Guests Find the Perfect Wedding Present
What do you do if you don't have a wedding gift list? Is asking for money okay? Here are a few tips to help your guests find you the perfect wedding present.
Do You Need a Wedding Gift List?
Some couples will still have the gift list. They will include the things that they don’t quite have yet for their home. This could be a dinner set that is perfect for special occasions—like the traditional wedding china—or something like a toaster or kettle since theirs were just ones to make do while saving up for the wedding.
Most couples, though, will live together before being married. It is simply a different society and time compared to just twenty or thirty years ago. Many couples live together for many years before finally deciding to get the piece of paper to make it all official. When this is the case, you may not actually need that wedding gift list.
Add a Little Note with Your Wishes
When sending out your invitations, add a little note about gifts. This could be that presents aren’t necessary and that the gift will be for the guests to be there. This doesn’t always work—there will always be people who want to give you something to mark the occasion and why shouldn’t they? Even if you include this note, you may find people ask you for your list so they can buy something from it.
In the note, it is also worth including something about what you would like. It could be money to go towards your home improvement pot or towards your honeymoon. It could even be money towards something more expensive that has always been on your list of things for the family. Those who already have children may add a line about buying toys for the children instead as it becomes a family event and not just for the couple.
Tell People You Have Everything
Make it very clear that there isn’t a wedding gift list because you have everything that you need for your home. Explain that you have lived together long enough to already have all the items for the kitchen and that money is more suitable because you don’t quite know what will be best.
Some will prefer to give you something. When that is the case, suggest something decorative or to mark the occasion. It could be a set of champagne glasses with the year of the marriage in roman numerals or a trinket for the display case. It could even be a charm for a bracelet to mark the occasion, such as a horseshoe, rolling pin or rings.
What About Contributing to the Wedding?
With weddings becoming so expensive, some people are looking at allowing their guests to be a part of it financially. Some may ask for the cake to be bought for them and that is the gift from that attendee. You may ask a close relative to help you pay for the venue as their gift to you. The best way of doing this is to talk to them in private and talk about budget.
It can be tricky, though. You only want the people close to you knowing how much your wedding is really costing, especially if you are on a tight budget. You don’t want all your friends and family members to know that you’re struggling to pay for your extravagant occasion and they may not even want to help pay for it! They may still want to give you something as a gift.
Don’t be Offended by Certain Gifts
There will be wedding guests who complete ignore your requests for certain items—or to avoid certain items! These guests either don’t read the notices, don’t think it applies to them or are just completely stuck for ideas and want to avoid giving cash. Try not to be offended by these types of gifts. After all, it’s partially your fault for not having a wedding gift list!
Simply send out your thank you cards—personalised ones are best—and then work on what you will do with the gifts. You may find that that cheese toastie maker sits in the cupboard for months. You may find that the weird decorative wooden heart is perfect for arts and crafts. You may also find that you can reuse your wedding gifts to give to others! Let them sit for a while and then work out what you are going to do with them. Enjoy your honeymoon and the first few months of married life.
You don’t need a wedding gift list but some guests will still expect it. The trick is to counter that with your own note. Try to add something about the type of presents you would like if they really want to bring one but stress that their attendance is enough of a gift for you.
Do Any of These Make You Want to Share with Your Wedding Guests?
Thumbnail and first image: Sun Dazed
The extravagant wedding cake: avlxyz