Eight Fun Office Gadgets To Kill Time

Is your cubicle surrounded by idiots with annoying habits?  Try engaging in a little negative reinforcement.  Every time the constant throat clearer conjures up an “ahem,” hit them with a flying chicken.  This plush, sling-shot piece of poultry won’t hurt your neighbors, but it will definitely make them re-think some of their aggravating quirks.  

The Slingshot Flying Chicken even blurts out a few loud chicken calls in flight, sending your co-workers in all directions leaping for cover.  What could be more fun than that?

Every employee has experienced the urge to punch something.  Humans punch back and walls are hard.  There is a safer option—the desktop Swearing Punching Bag.  

Yup, just wind up your fist and give it a wallop.  Not only does it bounce back for another whack, but it also swears on your behalf.  This handy little number comes equipped with a full repertoire of choice expletives.  And don’t worry about being censored for using foul language.  This thing curses in a cute Muppet-like voice that no one would mistake for your own.

Do your four-wheeling office buddies tease you about your Vespa?  Don’t sweat it.  They can keep their stodgy minivans and sedans.  You can dazzle them with your flashy red Ferrari Enzo.  They’ll be so impressed with its tricky maneuvers that they’ll soon forget its demure size and the fact that it runs on batteries.

Every office has a mug hog—a person who repeatedly uses someone else’s mug, never cleans it, and throws it in the sink to get chipped and dinged.  And every respectable mug owner dreams of exacting revenge.
 
Introducing the “plug mug”—the perfect solution for all of your mug-lugging needs.  This baby comes equipped with a hole in it that can only be corked with a master plug—one that you can keep out of the mug thug’s reach.  Store it on your key chain.  Heck, tuck it in your bra.  One thing is certain—your mug will always be waiting for you when need it. 

Are you feeling overworked and underpaid?  Thanks to the Make Money Rubber Stamp Set, you no longer need to grovel on bended knee for a measly raise.  You can supplement your paycheck yourself.  Going on a vacation to lands far away?  Whittle away your remaining workdays by creating your own foreign currency.  In fact, you now have the ability to create an entirely new office economy—one in which you are king.  If only you could get the darn vending machine to accept it.

Sometimes you simply need to know that someone is on your side—no matter what.  And what could be more loyal than a pet rock?  It doesn’t demand attention during those times when you need to focus on your work—the moments when you aren’t flinging chickens, racing little cars, and forging money.  

Plus, it will raise a few eyebrows—or “eyebrow” singular in the case of that uni-browed freak two cubicles down.  The truth is the USB Pet Rock does absolutely nothing.  And, in comparison, you will look like a flurry of activity.  Thanks Rock. 

Everyone needs to escape their cubicle from time to time.  Why not navigate your way around the office corral with a little finesse?  Strap on a pair of carpet skates and enthrall your coworkers with your dazzling dexterity. With a little practice you could be doing triple Lutz’s and landing Salchow’s in no time. 

If you ever find yourself wondering what it would be like to work from the comfort of your own home, take out your Crazy Cat Lady action figure.  Yes, she serves as a constant reminder of the fact that the grass isn’t always greener in a pair of pyjamas. You may even come to appreciate the annoying throat-clearing dude.  He’s got to be better than a dozen cats.

With a little imagination and a few well-chosen office toys, you can turn your humdrum cubicle into the playhouse of your dreams.  You may never want to go home again. 

What is your favorite office toy?