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Can I get some feedback, please?  

This is a new departure for me

 
Ralpapajan
Posts: 16
Message
on 09/22/2011

Yup.  I am trying out a new idea I had.  Write an article that MIGHT be of interest and put in something detailed about a product.

 

Does it workl?  Please advise me.  Ciao


I really do love this Wizzley Forum and the whole thing. I am learning something new here every time I visit.
sheilamarie
Posts: 271
Message
on 09/22/2011

Interesting article, Ralpapajan! I like the personal tone.

Now, I'd like to know more about those glasses! I think you've done a nice lead in to presenting them, but maybe a little background about the theory behind the glasses and how they improve vision would be beneficial.

Otherwise, I really like your style and your storytelling approach.


Read one of my books Sheila's Books
Ralpapajan
Posts: 16
Message
on 09/22/2011

Thanks.  Valuable feedback.


I really do love this Wizzley Forum and the whole thing. I am learning something new here every time I visit.
chefkeem
Admin
Posts: 3394
Message
on 09/22/2011

Generally, I like your article idee and your style. However, I think you should come to the point much sooner. Right now, visitors have to scroll down before they see anything about the actual subject of your page. They might click away before getting to your offers. 


Achim "Chef Keem" Thiemermann is the co-founder of a pretty cool new platform called...um...er...oh, yeah - Wizzley.com.
Ralpapajan
Posts: 16
Message
on 09/22/2011

TYVM.  I worried about it being a bit long winded.  That is why I asked.  I appreciate your advice. 

 


I really do love this Wizzley Forum and the whole thing. I am learning something new here every time I visit.
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