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A blog post I found about Teenagers - frazzled parents please read

 
AJ
Posts: 251
Message
on 07/08/2011

I have four kids, two grownup and two at home. Three girls and a boy. The two youngest are girls aged 14 and 13 and they are driving me nuts.

They are at the stage where:

they do not recognise body language - like when I frown or sigh they don't get that these are the warning signs that Mum is not happy

they take sarcasm literally - like when they start arguing about who's turn it is to do something and I say: "Oh, it's OK. I'll clear the table, I'll load the dishwasher, I'll get in the washing, I'll hoover. You go and sit and watch TV..." and they do just that

if I yell at them they accuse me of child abuse

if I ask for help around the house they inform me that slavery was abolished hundreds of years ago

nothing is fair

they think money grows on trees

they don't get that the more they pester their stubborn Dad about having Facebook, the longer he will take to say yes (even though I have told them that)

they don't get that to be treated like a teenager, they have to stop behaving like a five year old

Today my email subscription to Zen habits turned up this classic post: The Zen Habits of Teenagers - I have printed it off and stuck on the fridge using a fridge magnet.

 

Jimmie
Posts: 338
Message
on 07/08/2011

A great article, AJ, excepting the one part where he seems to say that teenagers should have the same freedoms as adults. (Does he not have any teens? Or maybe he's never MET one? Laughing)

My daughter is 12. I can tell you that my prayers are changing. It is much scarier to parent a teen (tween) than a toddler. MUCH SCARIER. 

bizilady
Posts: 122
Message
on 07/08/2011

I feel for you, really!

Have you tried written contracts with them?

And how about a schedule system?

it should help if you havent tried it yet.

email me for more info.I have a degree in behavior mod.


Do what makes you happy- I write and create Hubpages
Guest
on 07/08/2011

My daughter is 17 and the worst seems to be past - I hope Smile!

Reading the book "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!" really helped me to understand why so much that they do makes no sense. I read it when my daughter was a preteen and it helped me to understand what she was doing and not to take (as much) personally.

Good luck Smile!

bizilady
Posts: 122
Message
on 07/09/2011

I would not want to go back to my teen years for all the money in the world!


Do what makes you happy- I write and create Hubpages
AJ
Posts: 251
Message
on 07/10/2011

Jimmie - I didn't agree with the part about giving teens the same rights either.

Written contracts is something I have not tried - but as a contract has to be fair on both sides for it to work, I will be interested to see what they will expect me to commit to Surprised

When their eldest sister was giving me grief at around the same age, I read a book called "Help I've got a kid".

Daughter declared she would like to get a book called "Help I've got a parent"!!!

I am beginning to think that part of the problem is having two girls. They are only 21 months apart, only one academic year apart and they are both very academically bright - the older they get it is more like having twins.

 

 

Prospero
Posts: 54
Message
on 07/10/2011

I started early with the "children mularky". My youngest is 22 and the eldest is 31. And there’s a 26 year old in the middle.

I don't know where they are half the time, where they live, what they do, or what occupation they employ. I do know that they have rooms here which they regard as hotel accommodation occasionally.

They come and go, have keys, eat my food, use my utilities, and disappear as mysteriously as they arrive.

Between 1981 and 2005 my life revolved around endless trips to childminders, nursery and school, meetings with teachers, open evenings, constant lectures both given and taken, nights worrying about where my girls may be and the army of undesirable heat-rampant, high-testosterone males of various peculiar intent sniffing their scent. 

In addition I had to quietly tolerate abuse, arrogance, bad attitudes, immaturity and petulance. And that was just from the teachers!

What can I say? They will grow out of it. They will even applaud you one day. They will even rue the days they were outrageous.

I thought mine were the worst - and I wallow in the luxury that those dark days are long past, and no matter what happens now - they are adults and I did my best - but I am free now! Hoorah!!

(By the way - I had a little help from their mother - I mustn't take all the credit!)
 


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