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I'm back in business

 
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 10/14/2012

Some of you may remember I had an emergency with my elderly mother three weeks ago. I've spent that time visiting her in a geriatric, psychiatric hospital and placing her in a nursing home. She has early onset Alzheimers with severe paranoia and delusions. She had a breakdown which could have been avoided if she had gone to a psychiatrist like her neurologist told her to. She refused to go. Like most of her generation, she thinks going to a psychiatrist means you are crazy.

The stigma about mental health still exists today although it's getting better. Please see a psychiatrist if you have any metal health issues. Your brain is like any other organ in your body and is vulnerable to illness. There's no shame in that. A psychiatrist can help you by prescribing medication.

I'm amazed at how far she has come back with the proper treatment. The paranoia seems to be gone, and the delusions are still there but not as bad. I found a nice nursing home for her with a good program for Alzheimers patients. She's staying there, or else I'll end up in a psychiatric hospital. The whole experience was very stressful.

Back to writing.


Brenda Reeves
Ragtimelil
Posts: 825
Message
on 10/14/2012

I've seen this first hand. My dad is going through that with his wife. He's putting them both in a retirement home. I think he's been stretched to the limit trying to take care of her. Now she's depressed because she doesn't want to leave their wonderful apartment. It's a hard situation.

You did what was best. I'm glad she's doing better and you're taking care of yourself. Welcome BACK!!!!!


Lana or LIl aka Ragtimelil RagtimeLil's Store on Weebly
2uesday
Posts: 321
Message
on 10/14/2012

Welcome back Brenda, it sounds like you have achieved a lot of good things for your mother. It must have been exhausting get all the different things to come together to help her. 

BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 10/14/2012

Thank you Lana. It's a terrible situation. On the one hand, I feel guilty putting her in a nursing home. Nobody wants to go to a nursing home, but on the other hand, I've put my life on hold long enough, and I've only one life to live. I need to get out and live it while I still can. Although I'm 63, I don't have any aches and pains yet, unlike my brother who is five years younger than me and has arthritis that's slowing him down.

I go to see her every other day and take her two little dogs to visit also. I even take her friends to visit.

It's nice being able to write without interruptions at home.

I have a feeling Mom is going to be around for a lot longer. There's longevity on that side of the family. Her grandfather worked in the coal mine until he dropped dead at the age of 95.


Brenda Reeves
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 10/14/2012

Thank you Tuesday.


Brenda Reeves
chefkeem
Admin
Posts: 3394
Message
on 10/14/2012

I've been in a somewhat similar situation, and I know how much sacrifice this requires. Considering the fact that there is no perfect solution, I think you're doing the right thing, Brenda. You've got to take care of yourself. Sending you encouraging thoughts.  Smile


Achim "Chef Keem" Thiemermann is the co-founder of a pretty cool new platform called...um...er...oh, yeah - Wizzley.com.
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 10/14/2012

Thank you, Chef.


Brenda Reeves
Guest
on 10/14/2012

Being a caregiver is a tough job, but you have taken your situation and made it a win-win.  My grandmothers lived to 99.  I don't want to live that long if all I'm going to do is sit in a chair all day, linger around, and not be able to live a productive life.  The last family member "lingered" for 15 years.  His wife refused to put him in a convalescent home.  No one could tell her that she was not capable to hold down a full-time job and take care of an invalid at the same time.  But she made the mistake of doing this, and has many regrets.  She now admits that a big block of her life had been wasted because she refused help.  I am glad that you now have time for yourself, and are back to your writing.  Welcome back!

Sheri_Oz
Posts: 439
Message
on 10/14/2012

I don't know about where you are, but here in Israel there are some really nice nursing homes. Even those run by the health funds. I wouldn't mind being in one of them.

I know people who have resisted suggestions by their kids about going into a home and then once there wondered why they had objected so much. Hope your mother's experience is like that.

I'm glad you got it all worked out and that she is not as scared as she was before getting meds. Paranoia sounds like such a frightening condition.

 


BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 10/14/2012

I just got back from visiting her. She is very happy where she's at. She really likes the food and I really like that the place has lots of windows with sunshine streaming through. It's possible to find a good nursing home if you shop around.


Brenda Reeves
dustytoes
Posts: 1140
Message
on 10/14/2012

Welcome back Brenda.  Glad to hear she seems to like her place.  Yes, there are good nursing homes out there.  I hope your life is getting back to normal somewhat.


JoHarrington
Posts: 1816
Message
on 10/14/2012

It's great to see you back, Brenda.  Sorry to hear of your troubles with your Mum.  It must be heart-breaking, but I think you've done the best that you could do here.

 


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