1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings!
6b. Law of the Shower - Same as 6. except the body does not have to be fully immersed!
7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
9. Law of Bio-mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
11. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
12. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
13. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
15. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But if you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.
