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Only 3 Things Are Certain: Death, Taxes, And These Laws ...

 
chefkeem
Admin
Posts: 3394
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on 09/14/2012

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

6. Law of the Bath  - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings!

6b. Law of the Shower - Same as 6. except the body does not have to be fully immersed!

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Law of Bio-mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

11. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

12. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

13. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

14. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

15. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But if you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.


Achim "Chef Keem" Thiemermann is the co-founder of a pretty cool new platform called...um...er...oh, yeah - Wizzley.com.
lobobrandon
Posts: 534
Message
on 09/14/2012

16. Law of memory - If you want to remember something set a reminder, you'd do it in time. If you don't sent the reminder you're going to forget it. 


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Ragtimelil
Posts: 825
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on 09/14/2012

I love these! I had a hard time finding a favorite, but #11 is up there! Thanks for the laugh!


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dustytoes
Posts: 1140
Message
on 09/14/2012

#5 - the Variation Law - also works for the grocery store check out line.

#7 reminds me of one day when my son skipped school and went to the Mall.  Guess what, his father and I went to the Mall the same day.


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wrapitup4me
Posts: 46
Message
on 09/14/2012

These are great. I especially liked the first three.

Sam
Posts: 723
Message
on 09/14/2012

Cheffe, you need do make an Wizzley article out of all these ;-) SY


chefkeem
Admin
Posts: 3394
Message
on 09/14/2012

I "let" you do it, Sam.  Smile


Achim "Chef Keem" Thiemermann is the co-founder of a pretty cool new platform called...um...er...oh, yeah - Wizzley.com.
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