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Help me, please!  

A Critique Please

 
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

I called to get permission to use the photos on this article. It was granted and requested that I send them a copy so they could post it for their visitors. I want to make sure I don't have any overlooked mistakes. Do you think the introduction is okay? My brain isn't working too well right now. I'm hesitant to add any advertisement since they want a copy of it.


Brenda Reeves
Paul
Posts: 256
Message
on 04/15/2013

I'm guessing you meant this article? If so, I've read it and it seems fine to me, but I'm currently very tired and worn down, so although I'm sure it is totally good, I wouldn't trust me!

Only thing I potentially would change is:

"Forestiere Underground Gardens remain in the Forestiere family over 100 years after the creator began constructing it."

to

"Forestiere Underground Gardens has remained in the Forestiere family over 100 years after the creator began constructing it."

but that's just personal preference I suppose.

Also, I'm not sure if it's your Chitika account, but you should consider disabling the link ads as it makes the page somewhat unsightly and disrupts the page layout itself - it looks far more professional with the ads placed neatly at the top. :)

For example:

nightowl
Admin
Posts: 519
Message
on 04/15/2013

Yes, definitely disable the text link ads from within your Chitika account, please.


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BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

I was reminding myself. Don't forget the links. lol! Thanks nightowl. I hadn't thought of that.


Brenda Reeves
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

Okay, how do I disable Chitika?

 


Brenda Reeves
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

Thanks for catching that mistake Paul.


Brenda Reeves
nightowl
Admin
Posts: 519
Message
on 04/15/2013

Chitika has this option somewhat hidden away under the Domains & Apps menu item. Once you click on it, you'll see a page with "Default App Settings" and 3 options underneath. Uncheck the boxes next to these options and save. Your changes should be instantly active.


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BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

I did that, but they're still there. I'll check to make sure I saved.


Brenda Reeves
BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

Yep, They're still there.


Brenda Reeves
nightowl
Admin
Posts: 519
Message
on 04/15/2013

Nope, they're gone Brenda. Cache, maybe? ;)


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BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

They're showing up for me.


Brenda Reeves
Guest
on 04/15/2013

Your introduction needs some work. "Fresno lies in the middle of California in the San Joaquin Valley amid some of the richest farmland in the nation and one of the most unique landmarks in the world."

If you read it carefully, you'll see that you're saying Fresno is in the middle of one of the most unique landmarks. I doubt any landmark is large enough to contain a city. I think you meant it contains one of the most unique landmarks. Also, there's no such thing as more or less unique. If something is unique, it's the only one of its kind. Famous, amazing, best known -- something that indicates its importance and why it's unique, if it truly is. 

BrendaReeves
Posts: 845
Message
on 04/15/2013

Thank you Catana. Something was bothering me about that and I couldn't put my finger on it.


Brenda Reeves
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