Hilarious Grammar Nazi Gifts

This quote is the best way that  we, the grammar proficient, can get the message out that we're not the holier-than-thou jerks everyone thinks we are. It's also a great comeback for all the grammar police haters out there.

Just like any other group that's trying to raise awareness, our message will fall on deaf ears. But that's okay. We'll amuse ourselves by reading this quippy quote every time we reach for our mouse.

Now, just because we're grammar geeks, doesn't mean we're sexist. There's an equally haughty-looking female available with the same quote.

It's been said that one should help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you. Well, that's why every good Grammar Nazi will have this handy grammar quote within arm's reach.

Kind of cannibalistic and disgusting if you ask me. I mean, so what if the man didn't give you your favorite socks for Christmas? There's no need to call the whole family in and feast on his bloody corpse.

Let's eat, Grandpa!

There, much better. Now everyone knows you love your grandfather so much, you decided to invite him over to eat dinner with you and not be the main course.

A lot of people hate the grammar police among us, but, hey, what we do matters. I mean, we're saving lives here, people!

When you think about it, grammar really isn't that hard to use. Yeah, I understand people may speak the way they do because it's what they hear at home. I'll even go as far to say that maybe the school system is lacking in the English department.

But there's really no reason for anyone not to brush up on their grammar. I'm not asking for subject/verb agreement here. The simple use of real words would suffice.

This imaginary conversation is a perfect example:

"Hey, can I ax you a question?

Umm...sure. Will it hurt?

No, I need to know what pacific brand of coffee you use.

Well, I'm not really sure.

Supposably, the one in the green can is better for you, irregardless of what people say."

The English language is doomed.

But disaster can be averted if more people would just try a little grammar. Please, that's all.

Most people on the planet despise those of us in the grammar squad because they mistakenly believe that we, the grammarly gifted, look down our pointy noises at the unwashed masses who make up the normal population.

Nothing could be further from the truth, however.

For the most part, we're not pointing out that anyone's ignorant. I mean, we're doing our best to educate those who may not know essential information, such as the proper use of a comma.

Really, if you think about it, we're raising awareness and performing a public service. After all, grammarians are simply trying to save the English language from being completely obliterated.

So next time a Grammar Nazi suggests to you how to correctly place that comma, give them a pat on the back, smile, and say thanks.