How Do You Choose Your Maid of Honor or Best Man?

The Best Man and Maid of Honor usually take on some of the work when it comes to preparing for the day. The Maid of Honor will get the rest of the bridesmaids together when it is time for choosing and trying on dresses and will arrange your bachelorette party. The Best Man is usually in charge of looking after the rings, planning the stag do and keeping the groom’s nerves calm as they stand at the altar waiting for the bride.

You both need people you can trust for these roles. They need to be people who are happy to take on the responsibilities, while getting such an important part in your big day. If they’re not willing to put the work in, you will have to make the decision over whether you’re happy to do everything and make sure everything is in place on the day.

Siblings are often the main choice. These are the people you have grown up with, and the people who know the most about you. If you have more than one brother or sister or none at all, you will want to think of other people in your life. If you don’t get on with your siblings enough, you may want to consider your best friends instead for this important role in your day.

The Maid of Honor and Best Man need to be people who mean something to you—just you! It doesn’t matter what others around you think, as long as they are people you want in those positions. It could be the best friend from high school who is still there, or even the new friend from work who you get on really well with and has been helping with some of the planning stages. It could be a cousin, an aunt or uncle, or a godparent because they mean the world to you.

There isn’t a wrong or right answer. If you’re happy to deal with all the planning and preparation, it could be someone who means the world despite not being able to help. A grandparent or disabled sibling who will never get the chance to do this for someone else is perfect.

If they understand just how much it means to you, they may be willing to put their fears to one side. There is also the option of writing the speech and having someone else read it for them.

This isn’t as much of a case for the Maid of Honor. Traditionally, the Maid of Honor doesn’t speak publicly at a wedding. However, you may choose to do something different and that means talking to her about this.

This isn’t a necessity but it would be best to keep animosity away from your big day. These two parts in your day will spend a lot of time together, so you want people who will be able to get on and smile for the camera. They’re meant to keep you calm and they can’t do that if they’re going to argue with each other.

If you have people who have never met before, it may be worth organizing a meeting at some point before the big day—and even before the rehearsal. Set up a house party, have a dinner, or even go out as a group to talk about the plans.

This isn’t in the single or not in a committed relationship sense. By being available, it means those who are there when you need them. There are fittings to attend, rehearsal dinners to make and other parties to get to. Will your chosen two be able to make each and every one of them? Those who really want to make your day special will try to drop everything possible to make it clear you are their number one priority.

The last thing you want is to have trouble with every single dress fitting or all the dinners that you plan. There may be times that schedules clash for a good reason. Doctor’s appointments, hospital visits, already set plans, and anything else can get in the way. But every booking shouldn’t cause an issue. If it does, it could be a sign that these aren’t the right people for your day.

Your Maid of Honor doesn’t have to be female and your Best Man doesn’t need to be male. There are now many people opting to do the opposite. It all depends on who the people close to you are. If you don’t have any sisters, but have a brother who you are very close to, he can be your “Man of Honor.” If you have a female best friend who is closer to you than your brothers or male friends, let her be your “Best Woman.”

You will get a few heads turning at first, but this is your big day. Make it special to you. Of course, you need to talk to each other as a couple to discuss this situation, especially if you end up with two men or two women up there.

If you're really stuck or have no specific person you want to choose, there is always the option of not having a Maid of Honor or Best Man at all. You could give all your bridesmaids specific jobs to do through the day, or get all your groomsmen involved in keeping you calm.

Are you still struggling to choose your Maid of Honor or Best Man? Remember that this day is all about you. Choose someone who will help to make your day special and ensure it is all about you. Find people who will be there to help every step of the way and make themselves available when you need a fitting or rehearsal. It’s all about making your day the best it could possibly be.

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