How to Heal a Broken Heart

Right now more than anything you just want to get them back and take it all away am I, right? First things first you have got to imagine how they must feel.  This reminds me of that tune, "how can you mend a broken heart" The pain is intense and can be crippling. The next thing to do is figure out what's missing.

You can’t fix it if you don't know what broke it.  Often times you do know what you've done to break your lover's heart.  There are those of you who are clueless as to why. To know exactly what broke your lover's heart or made them fall out of love with you startst the beginning.  

Think back to what matters to them, go back to the beginning and remember when you shared your innermost thoughts.  Remember the time when you both shared your hopes and dreams.  

It is then you will remember what mattered most to them and realize where you dropped the ball.

Honesty Makes Love Work

People talk and no doubt your lost love did as well, so think back to the things they told you were important to them.

1. Did you meet their needs?
2. Did you address the things clearly spelled out as important to them?

It's most often these important details that were neglected. The truth of the matter is people rarely leave someone if they're getting what they need.

If you truly love and want this person come to terms with what you’re willing to do.  You must make yourself aware of the degree to which you are capable of loving another.  

Often times we over-sell ourselves at the beginning of romance by doing things we have no intention of doing for the long haul.  

Some of us do these things to get the person we want and stop once we do.  This creates the beginning of the end for any relationship.  

Anytime someone spells out clearly what it is they want from a relationship it’s expected the person who claims to love them will be all to happy to comply.  You should be honest about the things you're not comfortable with.  Pointing out what you're not willing to do in the first place never presents a problem.  In fact, the other person is often impressed with your honesty.  A sudden change in you and your behavior creates a feeling of mistrust and uncertainty that maybe you’re not the one.  They begin to question if you're honestly the kind loving person you seemed to be. We all know there are bad people who take advantage of others and you may now fall into that category.

The good news is this; if you’re sincere and hope for the opportunity to love this person honesty is the best policy. Write a letter, call or email them explaining you understand you've let them down. Explain how you got off track (give them details) mentioning you sincerely have every intention of making them happy.  Let them know you realize you got it wrong the first time and would like the chance to try again.

Once you get your foot in the door work to rekindle the relationship by listening. Ask your ex to explain what was overlooked and means the most. Now pay attention because after a breakup people really have a lot of venting to do. This is the time when you'll get the most details as to what went wrong.

Next, people tend to practice the wait and see the technique. They wait and see if you’re truly going to do what you’ve promised. They'll hold back until they feel it's safe to invest in the relationship again, so make it count.  Life can get crazy and the people you love are most often the ones to get the short end of the stick. Be careful to love and appreciate these people. The smallest of gestures carry a lot of weight when it comes to matters of the heart so make a habit of doing the little things on a routine basis.  This will keep the spark burning hot! 

When we first fall in love we do many little things for each other and as time passes we tend to let loving gestures slip. Each time a loving act falls by the wayside we feel less and less loved. Practice the little habits to keep the love alive and well.

Ease Habits To Form

• Leave I love you post it’s on mirrors, lunch boxes, laptops, purses, wallets, etc·
• Draw a simple heart on the side view mirror of his car with lipstick.
• Ask them out to lunch or coffee throughout the week, send, “Thinking of you” text messages or emails throughout the week.
• Offer them a bite of your food from your plate, in fact, offer them the first bite of anything you eat or drink. This lets them know they mean the world to you. You get the point!

Love is a living breathing thing that requires care and nurturing. If gone unattended it can grow cold and die. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have basic acts of kindness are needed to maintain a healthy relationship. This creates a cycle of back and forth keeping both parties feeling loved and happy.

Note: If the person you're hoping to get back together with is not receptive to doing so back off and give them space.  There are those broken hearts that take longer to heal and some never do. It is for this reason you have got to get a handle on good relationship skills.

Much Love and Success, Katie