Things are not always as the seem. A person may appear to be well dressed, educated and confident, but inside may feel unsure, unloved and very much aware of their faults and drawbacks in relation to others. Perhaps all of us are like this to a certain extent, because generally it is not possible to be the smartest, the most beautiful and have the best social skills all the time. However it is possible to change the way you see things, by choosing to see the best in yourself and in others and this is where compliments come in.
In Praise of Compliments
We all enjoy compliments and praise and if you say you don't, then you're a liar! So why not take the time to notice your 'good points' and of those of the people around you.
You did Well!
How do you feel when you are told that you are beautiful, clever, wonderful or lovable? Great, fantastic or perhaps elated? The fact is that compliments and praise feel good, we all enjoy them and most of us can't get enough.
However, praise and compliments should not be fake or forced, that doesn't work and makes everyone concerned feel awkward. The key is to start to view yourself and others in a new way, giving recognition to positives and good points and focussing on encouragement. Start to see the pretty eyes of your loved one instead of the extra kilos, or focus on how you child has tried and put in effort, instead of focusing on the outcome. You may be surprised how relationships prosper, situations improve and how you and others, start to feel pretty good.
Positive reinforcement is very effective. Consider the case when someone tells a joke and everybody laughs. Pretty soon you find the jokester telling even more jokes, in order to re-live the positive affirmation, 'you are a funny person', which the laughing audience conveyed. Tell that person directly, 'you are a pretty darn funny dude' and soon the fledging comic begins to feel more confident, distinctive and in possession of a special talent. This confidence could then inspire a greater drive and inspiration to be more creative and achieve new and exciting things.
Remember when you were a young child, how you wanted approval from your parents or caregivers? Remember how good it felt when your parents were proud, or liked something that you did? Keep such memories in mind with your own children, family, colleagues and friends. If you can give approval do it; don't hold back; it's OK to spread the love around!
Remember don't be insincere and don't give out false compliments, just simply recognise the good points of yourself and others and don't be parsimonious about sharing your positive thoughts and feelings. Follow this advice and you will find, that in a very small but important way, you can change your life and bring pleasure to others. Try it, you have nothing to loose, but your negativity.
A List to Inspire Compliments
Smart, funny, pleasant, witty, cute, precious, giving, talented, lively, bright, trendy, intelligent, confident, beautiful, cheerful, intelligent, gracious, kind, honest, trustworthy,amusing, entertaining, brilliant, sociable, enjoyable, pleasing, outgoing, happy, humorous, jolly, nice, honest, trustworthy, helpful, creative, musical, generous, grateful, entertaining, trendy, intelligent, energetic, active, bold, brave,understanding, brave, determined, responsible, wise, knowledgeable.
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