Many of us believe love to be a Lifetime movie-type experience that turns your world upside right, requiring very little effort from either of it's destined parties. Trust me, I'm just as enthused about the idea of love falling into our laps in spite of the hardships life will undoubtedly continue bringing our way as the next gal! The reality is finding love, falling in love and staying in love are each stages that require more work than a full time job. Consider yourself an entrepreneur because the dedication, time and energy being in love takes will also pay off.
Love, Dating & All Things In Between
5 Tips For Finding & Falling In Love: Things I've found to be helpful in my own experiences that I'd like to share
I found love a little less than a year ago and my 24-year old mind (although then, 23) just couldn't get enough of it. I'd met my match about 3 years prior and although I had feelings strong enough to win a war with, I avoided his advances out of fear that he would date around on me and I'd just end up another fool in love. Here, we've stumbled upon our first tip.
'Don't Be Afraid Of The Waiting Game'
Love is a fragile & precious little thing that you don't want to rush in to because you'll surely be the one rushing right back out. I'm sure you're no stranger to the tale of 'kissing your share of frogs' before getting your prince (or princess) but be prepared for the slimy aftermath that the process of casting your line over & over again tends to leave. In my unprofessional opinion, this is the most important stage to finding and falling in love because it teaches you patience and shapes your mentality so that you know what you will and will not accept when love finally does come tumbling along. It also teaches you the importance of my next tip...
'Leave Your Baggage At The Door, For Once'
Or better yet, in it's respective dresser drawer. So you've kissed so many frogs that you don't trust your ability to spot the non-poisonous ones anymore...you still have a trained eye, don't you? You can tell a frog from a dog, can't you? The point is your heart will always do it's job when it comes to protecting you from liars, cheaters and such but you can't hold yourself responsible for someone else's shortcomings. If you dated a guy (or gal) who misled you; though it's unfortunate, it's not something you could have known ahead of time since part of falling in love is learning as much as you can about the other individual...but only as much as they'll allow and only the parts they're forthright about. Sure, it's OK to wallow in disappear after a heartbreak or two but don't wallow too long and don't hold these experiences inside. They'll surely sabotage your future, if you do
Back to my story- I rekindled my romance after allowing myself enough time to rebuild my trust in the opposite sex when, on that fateful day a little under a year go, Facebook suggested me to my flame and I accepted his request. We talked, we joked, we shared...and here we are. Not to make it seem as if things were that easy, but they honestly kind of were. I'd always been the type of girl who loved too hard and too soon. When I met my main squeeze, it was the first time everything just fell into place. Everything seemed right, my smile was much brighter & I couldn't hide my unadulterated joy. It was so easy to see that love had arrived in both his eyes and mine.
'You Really Will Know'
I got so tired of hearing people say 'when it's right, you'll know'. Cliches get so boring so quick for me because I'm an extremely impatient and impulsive woman. However, this is the one time in my life that I can attest to how true the saying really is. Think about it, when you met your ex, something inside of you sized him/her up and you made a lot of bargains within yourself so that you would settle in to a sordid love affair with them. You knew you had no business, but you did it anyway. You'll know if someone is right for you, just like you know if they're only in your life for a season to teach you something new
My love bug and I were best friends immediately and were glad to make more room in our lives for one another. So we did...we spent days upon days together and would venture off to nearby cities when we grew bored of the scenery in our small town. We began sharing more with each other, both emotionally and financially. This blending of culture and currency became a slight challenge as we learned how to adapt to the dramatic change of 'no longer being responsible for only oneself'. We experienced loss together just as we'd experienced gain together, which brings us to Tip #4...
'Sharing Truly Is Caring'
Enduring tumultuous times alone is fairly scary but when a whole other human being shares part in the tragedies of your life, it can be quite comforting or unnerving. When you've found your love, you'll want to keep them around for quite some time. You'll get used to them being there and you'll eventually long to have them around as much as possible because you'll literally become One. There's nothing more beautiful (once again, in my unprofessional opinion) than two people carrying one another through devastation and supporting one another through to success. As amazing as that realization is, be prepared for the reality of how much work it requires. Keep the end-goal in mind and you'll get through it, undoubtedly so. I should also add that having a mutual end-goal would help...Make sure you're special someone wants exactly what you want when you first embark on the journey of love. Be it marriage, children, divorce options, religious beliefs, deciding on a pre-nup...whatever you sincerely stand for. If not, don't be afraid to run in the other direction...like, really fast...
'One Day At A Time'
My life is not where I would like it to be yet. I still have a lot of personal goals to attain but one thing I know is I want my man by my side the entire time. Being secure in your relationship as well as in your individuality are very important pillars for a happy life in love. Being strong enough to withstand Richter scale-size disagreements, stable enough to know when you've got some issues of your own to resolve apart from issues in your relationship and even being humble enough to apologize when you're just dead-wrong about something are all tests you'll likely endure and will want to be ready for or at least aware of. Most importantly though, you'll just need to remember to take it all one day at a time. Love is a beautiful gift and is not to be misused or mistreated. Trust in yourself, your ability to communicate your feelings and your heart's ability to protect you from anything you aren't in the business of putting up with. There's no need to rush something that's meant to be and life is just as amazing if you're sharing it with someone you love versus living it single and proud.
There you have it & thanks for reading. Happy hunting!
An Advocate For Fairytales