Quitting Facebook

I'd like to know what you think: Is Facebook is here to stay and a necessary form of social media? Or is Facebook a terrible time sink that's only tearing friendships apart instead of bringing us closer together?

We've all heard the old rule of etiquette that one should not discuss religion or politics with friends or family "at the dinner table". I would say that rule applies equally to Facebook, because it almost never ends well. I've seen formerly good friends get into heated arguments about both politics and religion on Facebook that ended with nothing short of personal insults, defriendings and hurt feelings.

Particularly in the United States today, we are living in a nation with very strong political and religious divides and those clashes are just amplified and quickly blown out of all reasonable proportion on Facebook. Everyone wants to scream and "share" their political opinions on the site, yet I've yet to hear from anyone who has actually had their political point of view changed after a Facebook argument.

"It's my Facebook page - I'm going to say whatever I want!!"

Well, that's all good and well. But when you do that, people who disagree with you are very likely to leave a comment. There's no way to completely disable comments on a Facebook "Wall post", the way you can on, say, a personal blog or LiveJournal post. Yet it's also difficult (if not downright impossible) to make easily viewable any "commenting policy" you might have. Some people are perfectly happy to get into arguments on their Facebook posts; others will go into a rage if you disagree with something they post and tell you "don't argue in my space!"

But who's space IS it? Even if your Timeline is set to friends-only privacy, you're still sharing with an audience of upwards of several hundred people, and someone out there reading is likely to disagree with you.

This ties in to the matter of public versus private...do people have any sense of privacy any longer thanks to social media, and Facebook in particular? People feel compelled to "share" every minute detail of their daily lives now, from what they had for breakfast to complaining about their jobs, problems with an insurance company, or their child's latest potty training adventures. Not only is some of this just not the kind of information I need to know about my friends, it can lead to potential workplace and family problems as well.

We know today that employers are looking up job applicants on Facebook, to see what they may be doing in their private lives. Some jobs are even demanding password access to look into someone's messages and/or friends-locked posts. People have lost their jobs and even faced lawsuits over the things they've posted on Facebook.

The more you even want to keep your Facebook private and locked, the harder it seems to become. I have many reasons for wanting to keep the majority of my Facebook posts, photos and interactions locked to friends only, yet it seems to be a constant battle to keep those settings in place. For instance, several months ago I wanted to share publicly one photo taken at an event I'd attended with several others. I didn't realize for weeks afterward that after allowing that one mobile upload public, Facebook "automatically" changed my privacy settings so that all posts made after that were publicly viewable! It was a long wasted hour correcting this mistake.

You know those "Share this if you love your mother", "Like and share if you hate cancer", or"You'll never believe this video" posts that spread around your friends feeds like wildfire? Well, many of them aren't just harmless space killers; often they are created by people looking to accumulate Likes and Shares for a page so they can sell it for money. "Why 'Liking' Facebook virals makes scammers rich" is an article you should read to learn more - especially before you hit that Like button on the next meme you see on your news feed.

Also consider that many of the memes that go around are spreading false information, rumors and chain mails which have been debunked on Snopes previously - sometimes disproven years or decades before! There's no need to keep spreading false information around like that, such as the mis-attributed rant against Islam that's NOT by Bill Cosby, the panic that Facebook would start charging users, or anything else you might find on Fake Memes Debunked (on, of course, Facebook itself).

This can happen just about anywhere on line, but it seems so much harder to avoid on Facebook than on other social media platforms where one has more control or ability to filter/screen what we see. It's been widely reported on how Facebook can be a "minefield" for people struggling with infertility or child loss. At least one study has suggested that Facebook may amplify eating disorders and poor body image. Another recent study reports that "people who spend a lot of time scrolling on Facebook are more socially isolated and more frequently depressed than those who do not."

• Why I Deleted My Facebook Account

  Artist Man Bartlett describes why and how he deleted his Facebook account.

• Why I Quit Facebook, and Why You Ought to Join Me - Mic

  Facebook may be dominating social media, but it doesn't have to dominate your life. Quitting Facebook can and will improve your life by forcing you to nurture relationships and create new bonds.

• Quitting Facebook Is the Cool New Way to Annoy Everyone Around You | The Stir

  Is quitting Facebook the new "I quit television"? Is making a big public stink about how you refuse to take part in social media essentially...

• My breakup with Facebook - Salon.com

  This year, I resolve to be the person I was before the time-wasting, approval-seeking site got the better of me

• 1 in 5 online adults have quit Facebook; majority have taken a break - The Denver Post

  One in five online adults who have had a Facebook account at one time no longer use the social networking site, according to a report released Tuesday by the Pew Internet Project.

• Quitters Never Win: The Costs of Leaving Social Media - The Atlantic

  Forget Lolcats. If we quit using sites like Facebook, we'll miss opportunities for self-expression, personal growth, learning, support, and civic exchange.

• Quitting Facebook Is The New 'I Quit TV' (You Hipster, You)

  Would you like a side of Bergman and vinyl records with your "screw you" to Facebook? Yes, yes you would. Ditching Facebook has become a new, elitist form of "conspicuous non-consumption," on par with refusing television, ar...

• 11 Reasons You Should Quit Facebook In 2014

  Too many ads, too many family members prying and not enough information about the people you care about. This is why you should ditch Facebook in 2014. ...

• How I Resolved to Quit Facebook and Rediscovered the World | News | Philadelphia Magazine

  One of my resolutions for 2014 was to quit Facebook. I realized how much Facebook has been messing with my mind.

• Why I Quit Facebook And Why You Should Too

  I’m no longer on Facebook. I was for many years, but I couldn’t put up with it any longer, as I derived zero pleasure from it, yet couldn’t stop looking at it.

F. B. ("Fluff Busting") Purity is a browser extension you can install to customize your Facebook experience, and make it much more tolerable! It has numerous features that can deal with the most aggravating aspects of Facebook, including:

• Disabling autoplay videos
• Removing "trending topics"
• Hiding topics via customizable text filters: so you don't have to see posts about certain subjects
• Blocking game posts and other applications
• Customizing fonts, display spaces and images seen

F. B. Purity can go a long way toward dealing with some of the more aggravating aspects of Facebook, but it isn't a complete "cure" for the "disease". Even with it installed, you may find that quitting Facebook is the only way to get your life - and sanity - back. But it might be worth a try for you if there are some things you want to be able to use Facebook for, without the aggravations caused by everything (and everyone) else.