Quotes From Napoleon Dynamite

"A Liger. It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic."

This is Napoleon's Dynamite's response when asked, by his friend Deb, what he is drawing. Napoleon seems to think that girls like boys who have skill such as drawing magical animals and this is his bizarre way of trying to impress her.

The Liger t-shirt on the right displays the drawing of the mythical beast that Napoleon Dynamite produces in the movie, along with Napoleon Dynamite's Liger quote.

"Can you bring me my chapstick? But my lips hurt real bad."

Napoleon says this to his brother, Kip, during a phone call from school in which he is trying to fake illness in order to go home early. Kip is not interested and tells Napoleon that the school nurse has "like 5 sticks in her drawer".

The humor in Napoleon Dynamite relies a lot upon apparently normal phrases being said in unnatural situations and this is another one of the quotes from Napoleon Dynamite that makes me laugh just because it is an odd thing for a high school student to say; more the sort of thing a 5-year old would come out with.

You too can have 5 sticks in your drawer by buying the Napoleon Dynamite chapsticks from Amazon.com, or if you only want one, then bid on a chapstick on eBay.

"Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day."

Said as if it were a cool thing to do and said by someone who is so utterly clueless that this is a very funny line from the movie, followed by a completely random and ridiculous quote about cage fighting! You can see a couple of "sweet" t-shirts featuring this quote to the right.

"Bow to your Sensei!"

After watching this scene in Napoleon Dynamite I considered taking up Rex Kwon Do and becoming a cage fighter myself.

Although this quote is not inherently funny on its own, it makes me laugh the way Rex aggressively insists on being bowed to whilst at the same time egotistically referring to himself as "Sensei" twice in a row. Given that this is a room full of no-hopers in a town full of no-hopers, reveling in being the local "Sensei" seems pretty funny.

Amazon has a couple of nice Rex Kwon Do t-shirts available (one of which I have displayed here) and you can dress like Rex with these Stars and Stripes workout pants.

"I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!"

This is the utterly stupid reply given by Napoleon when asked by Don, one of the school bullies, asks him what he did last summer.

I found this quote from Napoleon Dynamite funny as I used to go to school with a lad who came out with things like this, that everyone knew were not true, to make himself seem tough and cool. 

This t-shirt bears this quote from the movie.

"Frickin Idiot"

Again it is not so much what is said but how it is said that makes this quote funny; frustrated with a bully, Napoleon comes out with this pathetic insult said in what he thinks is a superior tone.

This quote from Napoleon Dynamite comes at the end of an exchange when Randy, a bully at school, spots that Napoleon has stuffed his pocket full of tots not eaten at lunchtime and squashes them when Napoleon refuses to give him any.

There was a time when my youngest sister and I would say this to each other as an insult at every opportunity.

"Vote for Pedro and all of your wildest dreams will come true."

This is probably the most enduring of quotes from Napoleon Dynamite spawning a whole range of election items for purchase. 

In the movie Pedro is Napoleon's equally lackluster friend who decides to run for school President on the back of the fact that he has a moustache and a "sweet" bike.

The election campaign is a classic with moribund slogans repeated ad-nauseum, ridiculous promises which cannot be kept, a negative campaign which includes smashing a pinata in the shape of his rival and mindless campaign stickers which simply state "Vote for Pedro". 

He's got my vote!

"I Like your sleeves, they're real big."

Once again this is one of the quotes from Napoleon Dynamite that shows how awkward the character is, as this is his idea of paying a woman a compliment. In fact the humor might be in the fact that in being so direct and not worrying about coming up with some impressive line his compliment is taken for what it is.

"Sweet"

The single word "sweet", is one of the most frequently used quotes from Napoleon Dynamite both in the movie and by obsessed fans. Napoleon uses this adjective to describe all manner of things that he thinks are good. The over-usage of the word is, I am sure, supposed to reflect how kids at school have used various fashionable adjectives throughout the decades. When I was at school "wicked" was in vogue!

"I caught you a delicious bass."

This is one of the final quotes from Napoleon Dynamite at the end of the movie as he meets Deb in the school yard.

The humor here again is in the fact that this such an usual thing to say to a girl, however, the "sweet" thing is that it seems to work as Deb gives Napoleon a nice smile and they play tetherball together.

It is fittingly out of context too that there is an infant onesie available with this Napoleon Dynamite quote on it.