Smile or Die

There is completely nothing wrong with smiling, as long as it's an expression of real happiness, joy, playfulness, humour.

There is EVERYTHING wrong with forcing people to smile when they don't feel like smiling.

It's as simple as that.

Does our society reflect this simple truth? If you feel tempted to say 'yes', think again.

Positive thinking has invaded both work spaces and private life. If you don't show enthusiasm, surely there's something wrong with you? If you don't show a brave face when confronted with a misfortune, aren't you weak, moany, unattractive loser? Complaining will make people unhappy around you, they will not want to be your friends, your customers, your associates. So get your act together and SMILE!

Can you recognise any of this?

Can I risk a guess that you can?

Photo source

I'm sorry guys, but the world does not consist of pink bubbles and glorious sunshine. Sure, it includes those things. It is full of amazing, breathtaking beauty, full of kind people and inspiring ideas.

It is also full of ugliness, cruelty and - to put it quite bluntly - bastards.

Pretending we don't see the dark side of reality does not make it go away. If anything, it only makes it bolder. Problems have to be recognised before they are solved, yes?

Sadness, anger, dissatisfaction, they all have their uses.

They can be a warning sign, a clear message: get out! I believe it is not too smart to ignore such messages (unless, of course, someone is aiming at a life full of unhappiness hidden behind a smiling facade).

They can be natural, healthy reaction to an unpleasant impulse. There is nothing healthy with forcing a smile on your face when you are suffering.

Photo source

Ehrenreich wrote a lot about smiling at work. She postulates that all the attitude boosting techniques are only a tool for keeping workers in line and I couldn't agree more.

If you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, there are basically two reactions open to you: you can rebel or get over it.

Rebellion at work is extremely inconvenient for the employer. Angry, sulking workers undermine productivity and damage company image. No employer wants that.

In the long run, it is cheaper to hire a 'positive thinking coach' who brainwashes workforce into thinking that it's ok not to get a pay rise than to actually sign fatter paychecks every month. Teaching employees to be happy with whatever they have makes more economical sense than improving their work conditions.

Do you still feel like smiling?

Photo source

Here's another of Ehrenreich examples for smile terrorism that is as cruel as it is ridiculous - treatment of cancer patients.

Why on Earth should cancer patients smile and be happy? What can they be happy about? Their illness can mean a death sentence and definitely means long, unpleasant treatment and mental anguish. How could anyone expect them to smile?

Pink ribbons, pink teddy bears and all other fluffy rubbish that is being sold by the ton (and often bought by charity organisations who are supposed to fund cancer research) and given to cancer patients serve two purposes: filling coffers of the manufacturers and making it easy on the people who do not have cancer.

We are not comfortable with suffering and pain. It freaks the hell out of us, mainly because it reminds us about our own frailty and mortality. This is a very human, very beautiful emotion. Why hide it behind a stupid teddy bear? It's not as if it can make death go away.

Ehrenreich quotes many patients (including herself) who are actually infuriated by all this cheering up going on.

Why shouldn't they be?

 Photo source

Nobody likes whiners. Don't rant in public. If you don't like something, ignore it. Don't criticise. Don't complain. Look for the positive side.

What a nightmare.

Luckily, the above advice is not necessarily good.

Let me offer an alternative view.

I LOVE an intelligent rant. I love a good, heated discussion (not achievable when everyone agrees with you!). I am bored to tears by crowds of compliers and conformists. I don't respect people who blindly follow trends and never criticise a thing. I run away from individuals who smile all the time.

Sometimes I feel that we are being trained to forego any backbone and this thought makes me very angry.

There is nothing wrong in not liking something - or someone, as the case may be. There is nothing wrong with voicing it. Yep, it might turn customers away. It might hurt someone's feelings. It will, though, conserve your integrity and ability to express an honest opinion.

Photo source 

Barbara Ehrenreich is not the only author who claims that 'positive thinking' is a sham.  

- Francis Wheen simply destroys the self-help publishing business in his deliciously titled book How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World - chapter Old Snake-Oil, New Bottles

I'll be adding to this paragraph as soon as I chance upon new titles.

Yes? Well... cool, whatever.

No? Good. It was not supposed to. I'm talking serious stuff here.

I cannot prove it in any way, but I deeply believe that all the mass shootings that happen these days are caused by suppressed anger, grief, frustration.

How about skyrocketing depression rates?

How about all the people who feel inferior, believing there's something wrong with them because they don't feel like smiling all the time?

We've turned positive thinking into a torture. Perhaps we should re-think this choice.

  Photo source

50 things you can do to improve the world

The absurdities of job hunt training

How not to fall for BS advertising

No junk mail, please!

Charities - to give or not to give?