Things I miss about eating wheat

Perhaps the most obvious thing people, including me, miss about our wheat eating days. This is getting better all the time, both as products improve and as my taste buds have changed. I had some cake in town a few weeks ago that was made with almonds and I still want another slice!

But...

In other countries, even other western countries, there’s less of an over reliance on wheat and other glutens. The US, for example, has a tradition in many regions of using a great deal more corn for bread and other delicious things. Here the norm is wheat, and even when we borrow recipes and ideas from other cultures we add the stuff. It’s in everything.  As a nation we’re very used to the texture and consistency of foods made and thickened with wheat, so even the good substitutes taste just a little bit wrong (Except corn flour in sauces. More people should use that - it’s much finer and less grainy. Your gravy will thank you). So yes, I miss good crumpets, soft bread that isn’t expensive tiny and crumbly, and more cake that doesn’t disintegrate when I look at it. And doughnuts. If someone in the US can find me good GF doughnuts I’ll swap for Marmite and really good tea?

The expense! The horror! I miss being able to buy a loaf for under £2.50-£3, of a reasonable size and shape to make a sandwich, with decent sandwich consistency.  I can choose between these three things these days but can't have all of them. I miss being able to grab fast food or a sausage roll without remortgaging or even thinking about it. I can’t pop into Gregs with a friend on the way up the street. Food requires thought and planning.

Service stations on the motorway are a little better now but there was one horrible journey when I was pregnant and couldn’t find anything but crisps all day. My husband’s arm started to look tasty…

This one's double pronged, like the chocolate fondue of your dreams. I miss both a) not having to worry or think about my food when I’m out, especially at social and professional events, and b) not having my diet or worse, my innards, be the main topic of conversation among colleagues or random professionals the first time I’ve met them! Luckily I’m a qualified librarian so my superpower is quickly getting everyone talking about books and comparing the book and the movie. (Hint; The book is nearly always better). Sometimes though my symptoms are apparently far more of a draw.


I live near a big city that does have some really great gluten free options these days, but whenever I go somewhere new I have to be certain that the people working there understand that wheat can be hidden and I really miss not feeling like a difficult customer.  It’s usually better in places where they cook from scratch and the chef knows what went into it, because if something was bought in and someone hasn’t kept the packaging it’s usually better not to risk the dish. Even when you call ahead it can be an issue.  One memorable work event was in a lovely restaurant where they made pasta just for me! Out of semolina. Semolina is an extract from wheat. Kind, but I had to upset them by not eating it.

Wheat and I went our separate ways many years ago now, with occasional accidental meet ups that nobody really enjoys very much (It’s off my Christmas card list now). I no longer really miss wheat itself, despite point one above. The substitutions get better and better every year, I’ve found, and it’s just so normal to me now that many of the workarounds are just… what I do. It’s the social and convenience sides that can be a little embarrassing. It would be lovely to just eat something in a cafe without quizzing the staff about their storage methods. I'd deeply love to not discuss the intimate workings of my innards with people I don't know, too.

Human nature being what it is I don’t see that changing, so luckily those of us with food intolerances often have a great sense of humour about it.

I’m still looking for that doughnut.