Wedding Planning Advice for the Groom

by Mike_W

This article on wedding planning advice for the groom helps you navigate the many pitfalls of the unique role a groom plays in wedding planning.

Thousands of pages of wedding advice exist for the happy couple planning their big day, but how much is written for grooms? Many people think that in typical relationships the groom’s role is an easy one – just leave it for the bride. The reality is a little different, for often a groom sits in a precarious predicament of not minding decision outcomes but not wanting this misunderstood as simply not caring about the wedding.

Hopefully this article on wedding planning advice for the groom helps you navigate the many pitfalls of the unique role a groom plays in wedding planning.

Take pressure off the bride-to-be

Ever heard the expression happy wife happy life? Well the term applies equally before as well as after the nuptials take place. While this article is designed to partly educate people on the uniquely stressful position of a groom during wedding planning, the reality is that no one is more stressed or under more pressure than the bride.


Many grooms selfishly proclaim to be leaving the details for the bride because it’s “more of her thing than mine” or “she cares about this stuff”. While it’s true she may have more opinions than you do about many things, much of the pressure she feels is about making it a special day for both you and your families. Also, this attitude is often, understandably, misinterpreted as you not caring about the wedding – which if that is the case then maybe you should be reassessing your pending nuptials.


So find a couple of things you can help with, admittedly this is sometimes easier said than done, and give the stressed bride some respite.

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Don’t fake an opinion too strongly

You are being accused of not caring about the wedding, so sometimes the easiest thing to do is to fake an opinion about something. Well be careful. Your bride will probably be so happy you are showing an interest that she will pick what you want over what she really wanted – the end result is an outcome neither of you really desire.

Pick a couple of things to be passionate about

As you will see in the above two tips, there is a fine balance between trying to help but not inadvertently sabotaging some of your bride’s visions. An alternative is to pick a few things at the outset and get passionate about them, owning the research, decision, and the outcome. Your bride will be ecstatic that you are taking an interest in the wedding day and may even give you a break of having too much input into the hundreds of other decisions getting made.

Don’t wade in to arguments

For many men it’s in our nature to be the knight in shining armor. Nothing makes us angrier than to see our partner upset or mistreated. Well get used to it. Typically the wedding planning is even more of an emotional roller coaster than the wedding day itself. As your bride-to-be tries to navigate the pitfalls of pleasing everybody she will unwittingly fall foul of some people. Expect to be the shoulder to cry on, but take a deep breath before rushing in to defend her honor. Whether it be telling her or your parents to back off or the meddling maid of honor to mind her own business, it is unlikely that getting involved will help anyone. The best advice would be to consider letting things blow over – relationships are always strained during the wedding planning but things are usually patched up or forgotten well before the big day.

Be prepared to delegate

The wedding day is approaching and you and your bride feel the world on your shoulders. Sometimes asking for help is just too hard –  other people don’t want to be doing your menial tasks, nor does anyone understand your wedding dream like you do, right? Wrong.

You are probably surrounded by people who would love the opportunity to help. You might feel weird about asking people in your wedding party to help, but that is what they signed up for and would love the opportunity to prove their worth. Also, don’t make the mistake of thinking you are the only one capable of carrying out certain jobs; you’ll be surprised at the thought and care your friends and family put into the preparations.

Give yourself time to recover after the bachelor party

Just a little practical advice – give yourself some time to recover after the bachelor party by making sure it’s not a few days before the wedding. You are probably not as young as you used to be, so remember that the priority is looking fresh and sharp on your wedding day. The wedding pictures and memories will last a lot longer than those of your stag night.

Also, all of your old friends and drinking buddies getting back together again does have a habit of making the groom regress back into his more party filled days. Try to resist the peer pressure and urge of partying too hard. It might be fine, but you are more likely to regret burning the candle at both ends than missing out on a couple of beers with your mates.

So there are some pieces of wedding planning advice for the groom. Don’t forget to remember what the big day is about and celebrate being with each other. Congratulations and all the best.

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Updated: 09/25/2012, Mike_W
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Mike_W on 09/10/2012

Hi Katie, thanks for the comment. The groom usually gets an easy ride in the wedding planning, but there is plenty they can do to ease a little stress :)

katiem2 on 09/10/2012

This is fantastic advice for men. The take time to recover is really important, I've heard horror stories, not a good way to start a marriage. This woman appreciates the thoughtful consideration as to what the groom can do to make the entire process special by adding his special touches that will NEVER be forgotten. Very good advice. :)K

Mike_W on 09/09/2012

Thanks Mira :)
Yep, the older we get the worse we look after a big night out!

Mira on 09/09/2012

This was a fun article. I chuckled at the last piece of advice -- I imagine it's so true that the groom needs time to recover after the bachelor party :-)

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