Whose Pregnancy Advice do You Prefer? Your Best Friend's, or Your Obstetrician's?

When I was pregnant, my first stop was to see my doctor. My second stop was the internet, where I found pregnancy forums and sought the companionship and advice of other women who, like me, were pregnant. Later, when I was trying to conceive a fifth (and failed to do so before finally giving up), I remained on those pregnancy forums for support with trying to conceive. For me, there's nothing at all like the companionship and support that you get from other women who, like you, are experiencing the ups and downs of pregnancy.

I've talked to doctors. Like many women, I feel like I'm a nuisance when I call them for the third time in a week before I swear I haven't felt the baby kick in two hours, or to ask if it's normal that I feel like I'm about to get my period. My friends -- the people I met on forums and friends who had been pregnant before me -- had already asked their doctor these questions, and they had the answers, so that I didn't have to "bug" my doctor about things that have simple answers my friend can give me.

While I disagree with their point of view, I do understand that some women feel threatened by experienced mothers taking an authoritative stand in their writings. My article on how to tell if you're pregnant has caused considerable controversy because I am not a medical doctor, nurse, or nurse midwife, and therefore some people feel that I should not be writing authoritatively on the subject of pregnancy. This controversy started when I stated that it is impossible to have a menstrual cycle when you're pregnant and several women countered with anecdotal evidence that some of their friends (but never the woman herself) had menstruated while she was pregnant.

Because the information I provided disagreed with anecdotal evidence, some people felt that I was providing false information, and that because I am not a medical professional, I'm not qualified to make these statements. 

Some women are more confident in the advice that's given to them by their doctor. After all, anecdotal evidence suggests that it's possible to have a period while you're pregnant (because women refer to any bleeding in that area as a "period," propagating confusion). Therefore, some women may be more comfortable with advice that comes directly from their doctor.

Because you are pregnant, the threshold at which you contact your doctor is relatively low. You should call any time that you feel that something isn't right about your pregnancy.

Read all you want to, and ask for advice from your friends, but remember that people like me are her to help you, but that we're not doctors and that you should make sure to call yours any time that you have a problem.