When Your Toddler Won't Eat

What a Toddler Needs to Eat:

• Protein: meat, fish, poultry, eggs, cooked dried beans, tofu
• Cereal, grains, and/or bread
• Fruit and vegetables
• Milk products: whole milk, cheese, yogurt

How Much Does My Child Need to Eat?

 As a rule of thumb, one serving equals one level tablespoon of food for each year of age. That doesn’t seem like much! But two tablespoons of cut-up chicken and one tablespoon of peas and one of carrots and two tablespoonfuls of rice with a couple of tablespoonfuls of yogurt for dessert means that your two-year-old has eaten a serving from each of the above food categories. 

Although toddlers may be very active, they are not growing as quickly now as they did while still infants, so they actually need fewer calories. You may notice that your little one who used to seem so hungry now seems less interested in food and may even sometimes refuse to eat. This is not necessarily the case -- you may not notice a change at all -- but often parents do notice a change in how much the toddler wants to eat. 

It’s always a good idea to report changes to your pediatrician, especially if you are worried about them. But don’t over-stress, as many parents have experienced the same thing and it’s not necessarily a reason for concern. Unless your doctor tells you that your little one really does need more calories than he or she is taking in, it's okay to relax about it. Some children respond to their parents’ emotions over food, even the unspoken ones. One response the child may have is to say a resounding “NO!” to food. But keep your own emotion out of it. Just provide the food and act as if you don’t really care if they eat it or not. If the child is hungry, the child will eat.

1. Cut-up food into bite-sized pieces
2. Provide a variety of healthy choices
3. Serve meals and snacks at regular times: 3 meals and 3 snacks per day
4. Limit snacking between these regular times
5. Limit sweets and extra seasonings, especially salty ones
6. Pay attention to what and how much your toddler eats over time rather than focusing on just one meal. For example, your child may eat only pasta one day or may have a day when he will not eat at all. This is only serious if continues through the week. Most likely, however, as long as you continue to offer the veggies and fruit and protein at each meal and snack, he will choose to eat them.
7. Model good food choices. Children copy what they see.
8. Most importantly, avoid food battles! Don’t let food become a power struggle or the place in your child’s life where he or she feels the need to control. This is something the child will pick up from your attitude, too. If the child is given a couple of choices, he or she will not need to control the situation by refusing to eat at all. Food issues later on can be nipped in the bud if food is never used as a way to control.  

Basic Advice for Parents of Toddlers:

You are responsible for when, where, and what to serve your child. In other words, if you don't want your child to get used to eating junk food, don't make it one of the options.

Also, if you want your child to eat at the table, make that the place where food is served.

Even if your child refused to eat broccoli yesterday, you can still choose to offer it again today. It has been said that you may have to offer something 17 times before a child will try it. Just offer it, but don't force the issue. When a child has seen it and smelled it and gotten used to the idea of it (as long as they don't feel forced), they just may decide to try it and find out they really do like it after all. (Think of the book Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss.)

 The child, on the other hand, decides if and how much to eat.

Strange as it may seem, young children know when they're hungry and when they've had enough and are full. For the child's future health, you don't want to interrupt the natural hunger cues that your child has built into his system and that he can learn to recognize. Yes, you want to be sure you feed your child healthy and nutritious food, but it's not a good idea to overfeed, either. Insisting a child continues eating after he's no longer hungry can lead to obesity later on. So can linking eating to emotions.

Other things that can affect a child's eating habits are the child's temperament and the child's metabolism. Very active children whose bodies burn a lot of calories may just need to eat more than a child whose metabolism is slower.

Children also use food to assert their independence. If you let them sometimes choose between two things -- for instance, two kinds of cereal or two kinds of sandwiches -- they can learn that they have some say in what they eat and so may not need to assert their autonomy through food.

Of course, one of the best ways to help pique a child's interest in food is to let them help prepare it. The articles mentioned above give simple recipes that a child can help make. 

You can also increase a child's interest in food through games and puzzles and "pretend food" that the child can play make believe with. With a few toys that let the child get used to the idea of vegetables and lets them "feed" the vegetables to a doll or teddy bear, your child may get over their own squeamishness about those little green things.

It's worth a try!

Good luck with your food journey! And please let me know how it's going. You can leave a message below. If you have a question, I'll try to answer it. Maybe someone else with kids has discovered a strategy that's worked for them and will share it with you, too. 

And please leave your own tips. Others will benefit from your wisdom!

Thanks for reading!