The Inadvertent Cruelty of True Love
I have dealt with that so many times before. I had a set of experiences that were actually strangely different as well. I've told you many stories about my undergraduate experience at a small private Christian university. And its all too true that a majority of girls who attended that university were looking for husbands, not necessarily over their education, but alongside. But 'ring by spring or my money back' was a motto at our school. You were the oddball in the group if you didn't have a significant other, or at least talking to someone, etc. So in that way, dynamics of friends in relationships were really different, it was harder to find a friend not in a relationship than one who was, and everyone did everything together.
My favorite part was now that we've all graduated, our friends are all getting married, one by one. I've gotten phone calls about a few, if I wasn't on campus when the engagement happened. I would leave them happy comments on facebook. Then one day I got a phone call from a friend who said, quite angry and upset actually, "I've come to a conclusion, Ember." "And what would that be?" I asked. "The past four years of our lives were a total lie. We were only accepted by our peer groups because it was the atmosphere of the university." A statement to which it was very hard to not reply, "uh...duh" but instead I asked her to explain how she came about realizing this and she went onto say that for these girls marriage is like that penultimate part of this time of their lives but that neither of us had gotten an invite to a single one, or were asked to be a part of it any of them, not even from people who she thought were more than peers or acquaintances, but actually really good friends. She had been convinced that despite the fact that she had admitted to being an atheist these people had really been able to set aside their differences and had really formed a bond and a relationship as friends with her. But in reality no one considered her important enough to share their important day with her. "No one actually liked me" she finished :C
I promised her that should I ever get married, she'll be a bridesmaid no questions asked.
Ember, Feb 2, 2012