Five Mistakes People Make When Planning A Wedding

Although you will be consumed with the minutiae of planning your big day, no one else wants to be.  Maybe your mother, but that's it.  Other people have jobs, families and lives to live--their world doesn't stop for your wedding.  They will be happy to attend an engagement party, they will buy you a lovely, expensive gift, but the majority of your carefully chosen guests only need to deal with your special day on the special day.  That's it.

Being part of a wedding is a big deal--an expensive, time consuming, all encompassing deal.  The people you choose to be closest to you during your wedding ought to be close to you now.  Think siblings and that one best friend, the one you already talk to daily.  Putting people in your wedding party because you think you "should" won't do anyone any favours--they will resent the time and effort they are expected to contribute and you will be frustrated by their inability to read your mind. 

Now that you have finely tuned your bridal party to your absolute best friend and a sibling or two, please don't expect them to attend every bridal event.  Some brides-to-be end up having numerous bridal showers--the bride's friends, the bride's mother's friends, the groom's family, co-workers, stag and doe mixers, and maybe an engagement party thrown in for good measure.  It is a big ask to expect your bridesmaids to attend each event, and an even bigger one to ask for a gift at each, yet it happens.  If possible, combine guests to make just one shower, and keep a day open for a mixer. 

Why?  So many showers and events are time consuming and expensive--travel, accommodation, food, drink, clothes.  Your bridal party will thank you and will want to help you more.  And they will have more money to buy you that very cool hot air balloon ride as a wedding gift.

To quote the lovely Julia Roberts, having a financial blowout of a wedding is a, "big mistake.  Big.  Huge."  Why drop tons of cash stocking a bar with expensive booze to watch your second cousin three times removed lose his steak dinner in the bushes?  Make a budget and stick to it.  Decide where you really need to spend money (like your dress) and where you can happily cut back (like ditching the wedding favours--no one keeps the wedding favours).  You will likely regret starting your married life with a kazillion dollar debt spend on one day.  Because it is just one day.  It's in vogue at the moment to renew vows anyway, so perhaps for a ten year anniversary you can hire out that exclusive resort in Fiji and fly your entire family out for the week.  But only if you can afford it.

Nothing destroys a guest's wedding experience more than having to navigate their way from the church, to the restaurant and then the hotel, especially if they are unfamiliar with the city.  And what are guests meant to do between venues while you are off freshening up and taken a million photos? Look for venues that can accommodate both the ceremony and reception and have food and drink available to your guests at all times.  Keep the photography session short--at the end of the day, it's rude to leave people waiting for hours on end, wedding or not.

Believe it or not, everyone you have ever met does not actually want to come to your wedding.  They don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts, outfits and hotels.  Your closest friends and family?  They do.  They will be up for a great party to celebrate your nuptials.  And if you invite fewer people, you have more money to throw a fantastic, amazing, memorable party.  If you haven't seen your cousin Jerome since you roasted marshmallows at summer camp when you were seven, leave him off the list.  Think ahead ten years--will you still be best friend's with Becky the twenty year old party girl from work when you are hitched and towing two littlies around?  Probably not, so leave her out.  If people have a problem with it, just say, "We have chosen to keep things intimate and affordable, thanks for asking." 

Although these mistakes are good things to think about when planning your wedding, every couple is different and it is up to you and the groom to decide on your day.  You may have to move your venues for cost or religious reasons, or you may have ten sisters to include in your bridal party.  Just think about what you're asking from people and avoid doing things because you "have" to--it's not 1950 anymore and you can have your wedding, your way.

But if you end up with a room full of grumpy guests and overworked bridesmaids, you can't say I didn't warn you.