Selling the Brooklyn Bridge

RupertTaylor wrote a fun page about all sorts of swindles involving the Brooklyn Bridge

The Brooklyn Bridge Sale Scam

Very nice! Deserves an EC. Definitely.  

Many thanks for your kind words. But seriously, would you like to buy a bridge?

Do you have a small version? I've got dental issues ...

I really enjoyed this article.  Very well deserved EC!

chefkeem: 11/21/2013 - 11:17 AM

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Do you have a small version? I've got dental issues ...

I've got this one on offer. For you, half price. It's a route (root) over a canal. Interested?

I take it, you funny man.  

Definitely cheaper than an American dentist!

One lira is alla I aska. Issa yours.

Dear Sir and/or Madam,

we hope this letter will find you in good health and enjoyment.

As you have shown magnificent interest in acquisition of Lira, we write to you with our very specialist offer of today: "The Nigerian Greenbacker" - a printer for all kind of paper money!

Make your own Lira (as much as you like) from the comfort of your home!

Please send us all your info now so we can ship today.

• Name and address
• Name and address and email of all your family and friends
• Bank account number and online password
• Credit card number and password
• $1000 (you can print it back later!)

God bless you!

Dr. Jeff Keem, Esq.

Director of Greenbacker Co. 

Dear Dr. Jeff Keem Esq.

This sounds very interesting. I'm a little short of the ready, as the proletariat refer to it, at the moment, but I would like to suggest another deal.

Do you have elephants in Nigeria? My next-door neighbour Mr. Alf Smudgely Esq. at 64 Acacia Drive has a zoo, and he would like to have an elephant, particularly one that wears jodhpurs. Do Nigerian elephants wear jodhpurs?

Anyway Smudgely has about $1,000 he won at the dog races and he would be willing to part with it to acquire a jodhpur-clad elephant and a Nigerian Greenbacker.

Let me know if this suits.

Peregrin St.John Fortescue, Bart.

Revered Mr. Bart,

I am filled with ecstasy to give you perfect satisfaction.

As you can see by enclosed image, we do have 1 (one) jodhpur elephant left in warehouse. I can send you for specialty 90 per cent discount price $1000. Regular price is $2000.

Send more $1000 for Greenbacker (not included in elephant).

Many thanks plus regards,

Prof. Dr. Jeff Keem, Esq.

P.S.: Please send correct address of neighbour. No fake, please! And bank numbers. I am honest business man.

Dear Prof. Dr. Keem

Just talked with Smudgely and he said he's just located a jodhpured elephant in Rawalpindi for 12 rupees plus postage. He also remarked that your elephant is actually wearing trousers not jodhpurs as specified.

However, all is not lost. He says he needs a warthog that wears sunglasses. I imagine it's pretty sunny in your part of the world, so probably most of the warthogs wear Raybans. He says he's prepared to go as high as $1.50 for a really good specimen with the Greenback thingy thrown in.

Also, he prefers to keep his exact location under wraps for the time being; something to do with a bit of unpleasantness over taxes. 

Yours

Peregrin St. John Fortescue, Bart

p.s. Point of etiquette old boy. Bart is short for Baronet, it is not my name.

Dear Mr. Baronet,

it is with great regret that I have to confess: we're freshly out of $1.50 warthogs.

However, I have reserved our last (and truly best) specimen for your neighbour, Mr. Smudgy.

To demonstrate my willingness to work even with the most annoying clients like yourself, I have decided to print $500 myself (at the same time testing the Greenbacker for full functionality) and to charge you only the remaining $500. Only for the Greenbacker, you warthog.

Send the money immediately. And ALL your bank nummers. Are you stuppitt or sumthin?

May Godd keep you,

JK, Esq.

Keem

The tone of your latest missive is offensive.

I point out that you are trying to pass off a wild boar as a warthog. Likewise your trousered elephant was of an Indian persuasion rather than African (smaller ears).

Not to put too fine a point on it, Keem, I suspect you might not be the "honest business man" you claim to be. Accordingly, I have decided to source my Greenbacker from a very nice gentleman in Romania whose integrity cannot be questioned because he is a lawyer representing the interests of a wealthy Indian maharajah who it seems recently died leaving me a fortune.

Sadly, I also have to report the passing of Smudgely. Last night, at feeding time, he was attacked and nibbled to death by an angry bushbaby. Apparently, Smudgely gave the normally docile beast a meal of black pudding in error. The unaccustomed meat turned the herbivore into a maniacal killer. It has been destroyed.

Fortescue