How can I deal with Stress at Home? The Fourth Part

The evening had arrived and the children were in their room upstairs.  In the living room, Remy could hear the comforting cadence of her husband, Sam’s voice as he read the children a story to soothe them to sleep. 

Remy was alone for a few minutes before Sam joined her and she was making the most of the quiet to think through her day.  Having a few moments alone was a pleasure she really appreciated.  She found herself thinking through the events of the day and thinking about how life used to be pre-children.

In this day and age, Remy felt like a bit of an exception, an odd ball.  She had chosen to spend her time with her children even though it did not come naturally to her.  The obvious, logical solution was to go back to work and give it all up as a bad job.  Most of her friends and family could not understand why she did not do this, so she was a bit isolated from the people she cared about as she felt misunderstood and looked down upon.

The emotional conflict was overwhelming at times.

Yes, she felt stressed but Remy loved her children, she loved the time she was spending with them, she loved being the one they turned to when they were in need, she loved being a mother.  It was certainly not easy and definitely nothing like her previous life and yet, she was reluctant to return to that old life as she just could not shake the feeling that here at home was where she was meant to be.

Finding a way to cope with the stress of her new life and the conflicting feelings she had, became a priority for her.  She needed to talk to someone who understood how she felt, maybe it was time to find new friends.

How do you deal with these very real feelings?

On the one hand, you want to be a Stay at Home Parent but on the other, you are stressed with it all and no one understands your reasoning for staying at home. Sometimes you even doubt yourself.

Thinking particularly about women and our choices, we can shoot ourselves in the foot when we decide OUR way is the only way.  We then feel the need to diminish other people's choices, as if we each do not feel guilty enough. I have been a victim of other women's scorn at my childcare choices but I have also been a self-righteous idiot towards others, even if just in my mind.  Why do we do that?

It is true that each person makes different choices based on their own convictions.  However, we need to be accepting of each other.  Is there a rule book on bringing up perfect children? No.  

Despite all this, we can be the creator of our own isolation if we allow tiredness and stress to convince us that we are alone in thinking the way we do.  The chances are that at least one friend was chosen because we are pretty similar in the way we think.