How to Handle a Breakup - When Love Ends

Anytime the one you love unexpectedly chooses to end it you feel blind sighted and rightfully so. Obviously the person breaking up has had time to think this through and get it worked out in their head. The planning makes them better prepared to handle the breakup.  The one breaking up is in a more secure and stable state of mind than you, the one being dumped.  Take a step back, take a deep breath and give yourself some private time to process the situation before engaging in conversation with the person leaving you.

The cold hard fact is this, many people are quick to say they love another when in fact they do not, they may be in love with all the relationship brings to the table but is it really love,  It is important to set aside your ego and really ask yourself if you are better off without this person?

This person may have a completely different idea about what love is, how long love last and when its okay to dump someone they once told, "I Love You"

Surround yourself with people you trust that make you feel safe. Spend time with a parent who loves you unconditionally, look at family albums and connect with the person(s) who make you feel better.  looking at pictures of good times with family and or friends makes us feel better and realize the important things and people.  DO NOT look at photos of you and the person that broke it off.

It is important to feel love from someone who truly cares about you. You are hurt, crushed and in a lot of pain, it is very important to be with people who care about easing your pain and showering you with love and patience. 

Spend time with pets who love you unconditionally, pets make us happy and understand when we hurt, they help us feel better.

Perhaps you did something to cause a breakup and yet still want to get back with the person in question.  Depending on your offense, you must own up to it, admit fault and apologize without making excuses for the wrong doing. If you expect to save the relationship you must prove you honestly love this person and that you can be the person they fell in love with in the beginning. Most important you must figure out why you did what you did. Maybe your parents had a bad marriage and you are modeling their behavior. What ever the reason you must identify the problem, work to correct it and improve your relationship skills. 

You must be the person you were from the start, do what you did to capture their heart. Many times we pretend to be someone and thing we are not in order to catch the object of our affection if this is your situation do the following. Own up and be honest letting them know you were dishonest working really hard to be who you thought they wanted.  Confess you will not be able to keep it up and only did what you did to catch them never intending to fall so deeply in love. You may go on to tell them you continue to love them but just can’t be the person you pretended to be but want to stay in the relationship. You must realize they have every right to dump you, probably should, and may in fact do so!  If you don’t want this to happen you should try your best doing your part to make them feel valued. 

Did They Ever Care - If the person breaking it off with you does a complete turn around treating you in a way that is completely different and so painful it leaves you totally confused and in constant pain they are the problem. 

There is no worse feeling than to learn the person you have fallen in love with thinks of you as a challenge, a project and once conquered feels you are no longer worth the effort.  In other words, a large number of people get in a relationship with someone because they feel it is a challenge, they need to prove they can catch you, make you love them completely and then dump you. this is a power trip for them and unfortunately a lot of people do this. These same people love to have others desperate for them. They love you begging to get them back, they want you falling at their feet. These people have little to no empathy for you when you are hurting so badly and trying to work things out, to get back together. You DO NOT want to be in a relationship with someone so arrogant and selfish, not to mention flat out abusive. 

People slowly fall out of love for many reasons and over time not saying anything to their partner till they are sure, it is the final straw. Unfortunately this is not communicated while the person is considering the long term abilities of your relationship until they break up with you and then rarely do they elaborate and why, because it happened gradually for them. 

What happens when you miss someone?  You think of all their many wonderful qualities, just as you are now thinking about your ex. now! You need for them to think about your good qualities, feel the void of your presence and miss you. A person cannot miss you if you are in their face, their lives and a constant reminder of the break up. You do not want the focus to be on desperate and crazy behavior which only makes them feel the break up was for the better, you want their focus to be on the good times, what they just gave up!

True love is the only way you can win at the game of falling in love, it thrives in truth, never lies or deceit, anger, rage, obsession, compulsion, and hurt.