How to Handle a Breakup - When Love Ends

by katiem2

When love ends you get a broken heart and want to beg them to come back learn why you should not do that and how to avoid making it worse when love comes to an end.

The magic of a loving relationship is wonderful and gives us great security in life. Anytime the one you love unexpectedly breaks up with you, tells you it is over, you are blind sighted and rightfully so. Obviously the person breaking up has had time to think about it, what they will say and how they will do it. A break up is basically cutting you off from the person you love. Suddenly leaving the relationship creates a huge void in your life, it hurts insanely more so because you thought this was someone you could trust, the one you told all your secrets and how, how can this be happening? Time heals all wounds, right, you do not want to hear this bull. What if there was a way you could put a stop to the conflict in your relationship and make the fighting stop, ease your pain and make yourself feel better, loved once more? Well there is, follow along as we explore the endless possibilities together.

Hard Core Facts About Love

Do People Lie About Loving You?

The cold hard fact is this, many people say they love you when they truly do not love you the way you deserve to be loved.

This person may have a completely different idea about what love is, how long love last and when it is okay to dump someone you told, "I Love You"

Surround yourself with people you trust that make you feel safe. Spend time with a parent who loves you unconditionally, look at family albums and connect with the person(s) who make you feel better.  looking at pictures of good times with family and or friends makes us feel better and realize the important things and people.  DO NOT look at photos of you and the person that broke it off.

It is important to feel love from someone who truly cares about you. You are hurt, crushed and in a lot of pain, it is very important to be with people who care about easing your pain and showering you with love and patience. 

Spend time with pets who love you unconditionally, pets make us happy and understand when we hurt, they help us feel better.


How to Handle a Breakup, Split or Taking a Break

No Such Thing as a Time Out or Taking a Break

Are they just breaking it to you gently?

The truth is a person who breaks up with you or suggest you "Take a Break" no longer cares about you the way they once did. In fact, maybe they never really cared for you at all or they are simply hurt, let down or bored with you. 

The person may never have really loved you in the way you felt they did. In this case work on you, make it all about you. Focus on yourself, your life, how to get where you want in life and most importantly forgetting about the person who just hurt you so badly. 

Perhaps you did something wrong and know it.  In this situation you have work to do. Give yourself a break, do not blame yourself. Many people blame themselves for the failed relationship because, well after all they are the one being dumped.  Truth is blame doesn't really matter now, it helps in the future but now what you need is pain relief.  Surround yourself with things, movies and shows that are light, nothing heavy or serious. 

How to Fix What is Broken

Heal a Broken Heart

How to Deal with Breaking Up

Know if the Relationship is Over

If you expect to save the relationship you must prove you honestly love this person and that you can be the person they fell in love with in the beginning. You must also prove to yourself, and do so first, that the other person ever really loved you.  If you feel confident they did love you consider the remainder of this paragraph.

You must be the person you were from the start, do what you did to capture their heart. Many times we pretend to be someone and thing we are not in order to catch the object of our affection if this is your situation do the following. Own up and be honest letting them know you were dishonest working really hard to be who you thought they wanted.  Confess you will not be able to keep it up and only did what you did to catch them never intending to fall so deeply in love. You may go on to tell them you continue to love them but just can’t be the person you pretended to be but want to stay in the relationship. You must realize they have every right to dump you, probably should, and may in fact do so!  If you don’t want this to happen you should try your best doing your part to make them feel valued. 

The Break Up Bible - Keep Strong and Move On Guide

How to Make Someone Fall in Love Again

How to Figure Out the Problem in Relationship Breaks

Do what you did to make them fall in love with you to begin with, be the person you were to catch them.

Most importantly – Understand this will take time. The person breaking it off obviously has a problem with you as a couple and yet it may not be you. You must be considerate of their feelings and or the new situation popping up. Many time people have complications surface in their lives so significant they feel the relationship coupled with the new issues in their life is too much to manage. 

How to Get Over Breakup

Dealing With a Relationship Break

Did They Ever Care - If the person breaking it off with you does a complete turn around treating you in a way that is completely different and so painful it leaves you totally confused and in constant pain they are the problem. 

There is no worse feeling than to learn the person you have fallen in love with thinks of you as a challenge, a project and once conquered feels you are no longer worth the effort.  In other words, a large number of people get in a relationship with someone because they feel it is a challenge, they need to prove they can catch you, make you love them completely and then dump you. this is a power trip for them and unfortunately a lot of people do this. These same people love to have others desperate for them. They love you begging to get them back, they want you falling at their feet. These people have little to no empathy for you when you are hurting so badly and trying to work things out, to get back together. You DO NOT want to be in a relationship with someone so arrogant and selfish, not to mention flat out abusive. 

Why Cell Phones Hurt Relationships

How Eliminating Cell Activity Helps Breakup Healing

To deal with the separation and fix things turn this around by being the version of you that made them fall in love with you, that is if this is who you really are, if not fess up and let them go, set them free!

Work on yourself refreshing the person they fell in love with. What was your hair, body, and attitude like in the beginning. Some people let themselves go in a relationship and it is a deal breaker for the vast majority of society, yes really looks and personality are important. Make yourself over into the person you once were.

How to Get Over an Ex

A Breakup Guide for Broken Heart

How People Fall Out of Love

How to Heal a Broken Heart

People slowly fall out of love for many reasons and over time not saying anything to their partner till they are sure, it is the final straw. Unfortunately this is not communicated while the person is considering the long term abilities of your relationship until they break up with you and then rarely do they elaborate and why, because it happened gradually for them. 

What to do When You Get Dumped

Why Did I Get Dumped

Avoid the person who broke up with you or dumped you.  If you are constantly texting, posting dump sappy messages It makes you look desperate and no one wants to be with anyone who is desperate.

  • It makes you look easily attainable, this is no challenge nor does it make the other person think of your good qualities.
  • It validates the break up for the other person making them feel better about the break up because you are acting like someone they would never date or be with. 
  • It does not make them MISS YOU!  You have got to make them miss you, feel the absence of you they requested and hopefully they will regret it, second guess themselves.  

How to Make Them Want You Back

How to Make Your Ex Miss You

What happens when you miss someone?  You think of all their many wonderful qualities, just as you are now thinking about your ex. now! You need for them to think about your good qualities, feel the void of your presence and miss you. A person cannot miss you if you are in their face, their lives and a constant reminder of the break up. You do not want the focus to be on desperate and crazy behavior which only makes them feel the break up was for the better, you want their focus to be on the good times, what they just gave up!

True love is the only way you can win at the game of falling in love, it thrives in truth, never lies or deceit, anger, rage, obsession, compulsion, and hurt.

The Best Thing to do in a Breakup

How to Deal With a Split

VITAL - Be who you once were, the person they fell in love with. While working on yourself, keep your distance from them. It is so hard to do this because of texting and all the many social sites especially when you witness their activity on a daily basis. Put the phone away, avoid contact with them.  Put your phone in an inconvenient place making it impossible for you to pick up the phone and check postings, activity and then text or respond to what you see. 

While in a relationship we are constantly in touch with our significant other. When a break happens we habitually want to maintain this contact. It is a habit and a ritual. You must break this ritual. If you do not you will become a BIG problem for them or a pain in the neck for the person you are trying to win back, this defeats the purpose, RIGHT?  Of course!  You cannot bother this person. 

Ultimately you regain your strength and self-esteem while working on yourself realizing you do not want them back anyway after all did they ever really appreciate you?  There is nothing worse than feeling unwanted, unloved, so why not wait for the special someone who would never do that to you.

Is it over when someone falls out of love?

Is it worth working at when someone falls out of love?

No it's up to the individual you cannot force someone to be in love with you, it should come natural.
karen on 12/12/2016

No, love is not hurtful or selfish

Updated: 09/02/2016, katiem2
Thank you! Would you like to post a comment now?

Have you ever tried to make someone fall in love with you again or had someone do so to you?

katiem2 on 11/19/2013

Mira, That is hard indeed a lot of men in the states are the same, we call them "mommas boys" they do not make for good husbands...

Mira on 11/12/2013

Right. Great points. Some people just don't put in the effort of helping with chores, etc. (not to mention the good stuff). Ask me about men here in Romania. Too many of them leave all the housework on their mother/wife. It's so terrible, and so hard to live with someone like that.

katiem2 on 11/11/2013

Mira, Good point the idea is to be good to the person you love, put forth effort and be involved doing your part and being involved not letting them go by the wayside or slack on your own responsibilities letting your partner take up your slack, or taking advantage of the fact you have a significant other to help you in life's day to day chores etc.

Mira on 11/11/2013

Nice tips. Some of them made me smile, while others got me thinking ;-). As for the best version of yourself, I tend to think we all change all the time, so sometimes the one you've become might actually be very different from the one they fell in love with; and so it's not a matter of being a better version of that older person. True, you might not change the essence of who you are, and if that's who they fell in love with, then you're in luck :)

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