How to Have a Redneck Wedding

I remember planning my first wedding. I was determined to have a nice evening wedding that was elegant and had no association with my redneck background. What I forgot was that my mom and dad would be there. Oh yeah... and all of my redneck family! Lord have mercy on me and my soon to be in-laws who were nowhere close to being rednecks. I had to fight my mother over everything about this wedding since she wanted to pick the music and be in charge of the entertainment. No way was I going to allow that. As hard as I fought she still took control of certain things. She had her friend's son come in and sing a few songs during the ceremony. Imagine what that sounded like. Yee haw. She wanted a gold champagne fountain at the reception that I shot down real quick. She even wanted her new Egyptian boyfriend (who was younger than my soon to be husband) come in and belly dance at the reception. Are you crazy!? I did not allow that at all. He was her 5^th husband by the way exactly 2 months after I got married. He danced at their reception so she was happy I suppose. Instead of wine at the reception like I wanted we had whiskey and a keg of beer. I finally got most of what I wanted for my wedding and I thought I had avoided most things redneck. That is until my dad showed up and the reception got underway!

I have seen a few redneck weddings in my time. Most of them were family weddings. The common theme that seems to fit into all of them is camouflage. Redneck men and women love to hunt and fish so the camouflage works out well to incorporate into the wedding. Here are a few ideas and some of my experiences to go with them.

I have even seen bridesmaids dresses with either camo sashes or the whole dress in camo. Take a look at this great camouflage dress that would be great for your bridesmaids or even you as the bride. Don't forget the shoes to match. 

The cake can either be all camouflage or just add a cute little redneck cake topper that has something to do with hunting or fishing like this one from Amazon. I have even seen groom's cakes that were deer heads, wild boar heads, and whole fish (bass).   

The reception music has got to be either country music or southern rock. A DJ will work fine or better yet just hook up the boom box in the reception area and play a few CDs. The reception is where all the rednecks come out of their shell. Even the high class rednecks like myself start to show their true colors when they get a little whiskey or beer in them. This is where my in laws and their friends stood there with their mouths wide open because they could not believe what was happening at our fancy evening reception at the Woodfield Country Club. My bridesmaids made the groomsmen look like sissy girls when it came to drinking. The girls picked up the best man, turned him upside down, and stuck the dispenser from the keg of beer into his mouth and started pumping beer into him. Then grabbed the groom and did the same thing. We have pictures but I have no idea where they are at the moment. Too many years ago! I was standing there laughing at what was going on and the next thing I knew they grabbed me... the bride.. and turned me upside down with my dress around my neck and did the same thing to me. I had beer all over me. My mother in law was not happy! By the end of the night there were people passed out in the bathroom and in the coat closet. My bridesmaids had ripped most of their dresses and a couple had even taken them off and kept on dancing. Lord have mercy it was a hoot I tell ya!

If your father happens to be giving you away you have to really keep an eye on him if he is a redneck. He may have one too many drinks before the ceremony because he is nervous. This is what happened to me. My friend caught my father in the parking lot of Tabernacle Baptist Church drinking Southern Comfort out of the bottle 10 minutes before he was to walk me down the aisle. I could smell it as I walked up to him and I pretty much had to hold him up as we walked down the aisle. There were 300 people at this wedding. I was so embarrassed. We finally made it to the end of the aisle and he had to sit down on the first pew of the church to keep from falling down. The pastor asked who gives this woman to this man and he spoke up and said, “I do your honor”. I could have crawled under the pew.

We have covered music, invitations, dresses, babysitting your dad, and the cake. Lets talk about food. The food at the reception will most likely be prepared by a family member. Things like ribs, roast beef, deer tenderloin, mashed potatoes, sliced tomatoes, collard greens, pinto beans, navy beans, corn bread, and pork butt would make great reception food. Don't forget the homemade biscuits and sweet iced tea. Most country people can really cook some good food so you should have no worries when it comes to the reception food. Paper plates, bowls, and plastic spoons and forks will do just fine. Card tables with plastic table cloths work well too. If you are having the reception outside then just throw together a couple of picnic tables or back up a few trucks and let the tail gates down.   

It doesn't matter what the theme of your wedding is. Just remember why you are there and make that time memorable for you and your significant other. If going all out redneck is what you are about then let it go. Even though my first wedding was embarrassing at time it turned out well. Even my in laws said they had never seen so many people have such a good time before. They laugh about it to this day. My second and last wedding was a lot more elegant but I have to say that the reception was no where near as fun. Have some redneck fun and make it a day to remember!