How to Tell Someone You're Falling Out of Love

by katiem2

You know something's changed, you just don't feel it anymore. Learn the best way to tell someone you're falling out of love with them.

There's nothing worse than a sinking feeling the love you once felt for another has faded away. Falling out of love is a very painful process and yet it's far more painful to remain in a loveless relationship. You need a comfortable way to tell your ex, or soon to be ex, you no longer love them. Falling in love is very real, common and happens to everyone and yet many will never face the difficult position as telling the one you once loved you are no longer in love. Many things run through your head, day and night while you're plagued with the question, how do I tell them? The best way to tell someone you have fallen out of love with them takes a bit of careful planning.

Falling Out of Love for Good

How to Get Out Once You've Fallen Out of Love

The actual words are the easy part. The getting up the nerve and courage to possibly crush the one you once loved is the hardest part of it all.

The first plan of action is to be realistic. Imagine the possibility this could be a two way street.  

It may be your partner no longer loves you as well. This is common and yet often not considered.  

Ask yourself this question, should two people who are not in love stay together?

How simple would it be for both of you to come to terms with the fact you've grown apart.

It's always best to keep the lines of communications open from the beginning of any relationship. Start any relationship with a routine of checking in with each other sharing how your feelings evolve or change, for the good or bad. If you've not done so this time around do remember this for future relationships.  This sets the tone for realistic expectations of any relationship.

When to Tell Your Partner it's Over

Telling your partner you no longer love them and have fallin out of love is a very difficult thing to do and yet you have got to do it.

The Biggest Mistake 

Expectation Is The Root of all Heartache.  William Shakespeare

The biggest mistake most commonly made is for two people who don't love each other to stay together for fear of tragically hurting the other.

All along the truth is the other party has fallen out of love as well.  We, as a society, have made it the norm for couples to stay together who really don't have any interest in being with the other.  Do you want to be one of those people tangled up in a loveless relationship?

If you feel this may apply to you set a plan in action to tell the other party you're no longer in love, taking into consideration this may be as big a relief for them as it is you.  Read the simple guide to telling someone you've fallen out of love below.  You must plan accordingly understanding what you hear may not always apply to you. Your break up may go very easily.  If you're not someone who feels confident the other has fallen out of love with you as well, read the guidelines carefully and consider how the facts may apply to your situation.  

How to Say I Don't Love You Anymore

Learn how to tell someone you don't love them anymore in one simple guide.

1. First and foremost understand when it comes to matters of the heart or falling in and out of love we all know there's the chance a romance, love affair or serious relationship may come to an end.  This occurs when any of the two parties experience a change of heart or feelings. Entering into a relationship has no guarantees. 

2. You will need to remove your things from the apartment or home you share, if you live together. There is no need to remove everything all at once as this can be devastating. Pack a bag with the essentials to maintain a comfortable distance allowing time for this reality to set in.

The Best Way to Break Up

3. Don't complicate the break up by stating the ole, I still love you I'm just not in love with you routine. That's hurtful as it leaves hope for reconciliation when you know there is none.  If you no longer love this person be honest about it, telling someone your feelings have changed is not clear cut or honest, you're here because you've fallen out of love, own it! Do so simply by not adding false hope.

4. Don't do it in a email, text message or over the phone.  This needs to be done face to face.

5. Do it over a nice diner out in public, go to one of your favorite places, tell the other you value everything you've shared, that your time together will forever be with you but you have in fact experienced a change of heart in regard to being a couple.  

6. Tell them any place you feel is best suited for the person you'll be telling you no longer love them. It's best not to do it in your shared residence as you may feel inclined to comfort the other as they may be more pron to outburst in the privacy of their own home.  

Breakup Caution - Avoid the potential rebound trap.The person you're breaking up with may naturally test you to see if in fact you no longer love them by getting an emotional reaction or response from you. They may evaluate if this is a wait and see break up or a possible break in time only. You do not want to leave any room for doubt, make it clear you have no doubt and have given this

Reviewing I Don't Love You Anymore

You should never promise the person you're breaking up with you can still be friends as this can sabotage the break up.

You know in your heart of hearts if this is a person you need some serious distance from. There is no need to bring friendship up while telling your soon to be ex you don't love them anymore.

Have Your ever Told Someone You Don't Love Them Anymore?

If so how did it go?

Remaining Friends After a Breakup

The decision to remain friends provides comfort for the one broke up with but also gives them false hope.

The friend factor may add hope where there is none. Finally do not make any promises you cannot keep. You're already doing your partner the best favor you possibly can with the honest break. There are few things worse than spending countless wasted time with someone who does not love you.Time is something we cannot get back, it would be a horrible and painful thing for you to stay with someone your no longer love.    

Anyone who's been told their partner does not love them anymore will be sad, broken hearted and feel flat out bad for some time.  It is when they fall in love again they will know the renewed hope of love.  Without you telling them the truth they would miss the chance of living the truth.  Life is short, telling someone you don't love them anymore is an honorable thing and something you should feel good about. Do not get the wrong idea, you should always be mindful of the other persons feelings, don't be cold or hurtful.  Do be honest with yourself, develop a plan that's respectful of your partner getting through this with as much dignity and compassion as possible.  

Much Love and Happiness, Katie

Updated: 10/08/2019, katiem2
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katiem2 on 10/24/2013

AnomalousArtist, Better late than never I guess right? Thanks for letting me know you were here, read and found it to be of good sound advice for matters of the heart.

AnomalousArtist on 10/17/2013

Thanks for writing this, could have used some advice on this topic a few years ago! :)

katiem2 on 03/19/2013

cazort, Very good contribution to this topic. I enjoyed reading your response and appreciate your input. You make a really good point! Thanks :)K

cazort on 03/10/2013

I'm cautious about using the word "love" when having deep discussions with a partner on emotionally-charged subjects. The reason is that the word "love" is so imprecise and vague; it can mean many different things. I don't think I'd ever tell someone that I "don't love them anymore" because I care about all people, and I wouldn't want someone to misinterpret what I said as not caring about them (I think this is something that is easy to misinterpret, given how our society uses "love" both to mean romantic infatuation and caring or positive regard). I'm equally cautious with telling someone that I love them if I don't know them very well, because that can be misconstrued too.

I also think that sometimes it's best to not tell someone at all that you have fallen out of love with them. Why? Because it's not relevant. It's not something they need to know, and it's something that can make it easy for them to feel all sorts of bad things.

What is relevant, I think, is telling someone that you don't want to be in a relationship with them any more. Being in love and wanting to be in a relationship are two different things, and you can have either one without the other. I haven't been in love at all points in all my relationships. In fact, my recent relationship, I started out with only mild feelings towards my g/f, and they have grown stronger over time. I think this is actually a healthier way to have a relationship. I also have still felt "in love" with my one ex, some months after we broke up, even though I knew it wasn't healthy for us to be together, and didn't want to get back together.

I think that confusing the different types of feelings or love can make these dialogues unnecessarily hard. I recommend separating out the idea of caring for someone from the idea of being in love (or being infatuated) from the idea of being attracted to someone, from the idea of wanting to be in a relationship with someone. Making these distinctions may seem like a bit of work up front, but it makes relationship conversations SOOO much easier!

katiem2 on 04/24/2012

tribute_to_erasmus, Great thoughts on telling someone you no longer love them. You have a good sense of the well being of all involved. Much Love Be Yours :)

tribute_to_erasmus on 04/23/2012

Katie, these are really wise words. Thanks for putting it so eloquently! Having been in this situation before, I know the importance of telling the other person how you feel, to be mature about it and not to create any guilt so that you can look back on your time together with fondness instead of bitterness. Definitely never easy!

katiem2 on 02/17/2012

Guarded_Secret, Oh I see, I know what you mean, I'll imagine the most amazing earth shattering love coming into your life very soon.

katiem2 on 02/17/2012

Guarded_Secrets, Very nice comment. So many people live as you've just described. Its sad, especially to me, after having faced death and struggling to recover I will never again settle for anything other than love that is alive and well and totally present. I'm happy you finally got it.

katiem2 on 01/22/2012

Angel, I too have been in the very same situation, it was hard to do, but the right thing sometimes is when your a gentle soul. Telling someone you've fallen out of love is a difficult but very necessary thing to do so each person can move on and find true love, from what I've heard from you it sounds like you've done just that. Good for you and everyone involved.

Wise Fool, Thanks for stopping by and checking out how to tell someone you're falling out of love. Great to hear from you. Katie

WiseFool on 01/22/2012

Really sound advice, Katie. Great article!

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