5 Questions to Consider Before Getting Married

by CeresSchwarz

Before rushing into wedding preparations for an upcoming marriage, stop for a while. Take the time to consider and ask yourself certain important questions before getting married.

Marriage can be a huge life-changing decision, which is why it really shouldn't be taken lightly at all. No one should just rush recklessly into a marriage without even taking the time to think and take into consideration a number of necessary things.

Being reckless about this matter can only lead to a possibility of much pain and heart ache later on so it is highly advisable that you first slow down. Ask yourself certain relevant questions before ultimately deciding to tie the knot with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

5 Questions to Ask / Consider Before Getting Married
5 Questions to Ask / Consider Before Getting Married


The beauty and wonders of marriage

Marriage can truly be such a wonderful and beautiful thing.

Two people, who are very much in love, decide to spend the rest of their lives together no matter what happens and regardless of any obstacles and problems that may stand in their way.

Many, if not all, of us, are searching for the right person with whom we can spend the rest of our lives with.

For the romantics, they would want to search for their soul mate or the one that they are destined and fated to be with.

Soul Mates & True Love

Do you believe in the concept of soul mates & true love?

Who wouldn't want to find someone who loves you for who you are, who understands you in ways that no one else can and who stands by you and is always there for you? Many dream of being able to meet such a person that is seemingly their perfect counterpart. For those that have met this person, you certainly wouldn't want to lose him or her. There is no doubt that you would want to marry said girlfriend or boyfriend.

Love is eternal & infinite

You're supposed to spend the rest of your life with your lover so don't wait until you're already married before you realize or decide that you weren't meant to be after all
Couple's Heart-Shaped Sterling Silver Cubic Zirconia Separable Prom...
Authentic Sterling Silver Infinity Symbol Style Ring

Wedding perils

The danger of getting married too soon

You found the love of your life, your soul mate, the one person that you wish to spend the rest of your life with, the one that you'll die for, your other half and you get the point.

Since you've found this special person, you can't wait to get married to him or her.

You must be making wedding preparations by now and making sure that, come the day of the wedding, everything will be perfect.

This might actually be the case, for the wedding day itself, that is.

However, years and even months down the line, how do you know for sure that you haven't just made the biggest mistake of your life with this marriage decision?

How would you know that you won't soon be embroiled in a bitter battle for divorce or annulment for one reason or another?

To try and prevent this, it's best not to rush into marriage.

It may be fun to plan your dream wedding, but it's in your best interest to really think things through before tying the knot with your would-be spouse because marriage is a very serious commitment.

Marriage is supposed to be for life.

In essence, you are making plans to spend the rest of your existence with another person therefore not thinking about such a big change in your life just isn't the way to be off to a good start.

Before agreeing to get married, you have to think logically and rationally if you're really serious about this, if this is really what you want and if you're ready for this. You don't want to make the mistake of marrying the wrong person or having your marriage eventually fail and end in either a divorce or an annulment. It can thus help if you consider and think about a number of questions before you decide to get married.

Importance of time

How long have you known each other?

You shouldn't marry someone that you have only known for a few months or even less than a year because it’s not enough time to get to know someone, at least not well enough to marry.

Humans are naturally complex with a great variety of likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests.

They have their own personality traits and characteristics, which make them different from everyone else.

You may think that you already know a person well but, if you've only been around him or her for a short period of time, chances are, that there are still many things that you have yet to discover about your lover.


Rush if you're late except regarding matters of the heart & of love where you really should take your time
Love Charm Bracelet Heart-Shaped Dial Watch Bombshell Women's SWN-0671

There's no need to rush this stage. Take the time to get to know the person you plan to marry and spend the rest of your life with. After all, you might find things about him or her that you don't actually like or you might discover that you have more things in common that make you compatible than you initially thought. Another important thing to consider is if you actually like spending long periods of time with your girlfriend or boyfriend because this is what you'll be doing if you decide to get married.

Dark or white chocolates?

Do you know what kind of chocolates your lover likes best or what his or her's favorite brand is?
Dark Chocolate Marzipan Hearts
Leonidas Belgian White Chocolates: Manon Café & Manon Blanc Ballotin

Familiarity of your lover

How well do you know each other?

You shouldn't marry someone you don't really know all that well.

Marriage means living with your spouse so you should know a lot of things about said spouse, which include their quirks, their favorite things, their hobbies and their likes and dislikes.  

What makes your would-be spouse sad? What makes him or her tick? What makes him or her happy? What is his or her's favorite food?

You should know all these things and more. Your would-be spouse should know the answers to these things too with regards to you.

Knowing all about each other is also a mark of how close you two really are and how your romantic relationship is working out.

You should know even the simplest and littlest things about each other because this really shows how serious you both are about your relationship.

For example, it's your lover's birthday and you intend to give him or her a gift.

It can't just be any gift though because this is your special someone and you want it to be the best and most appropriate gift that you can find.

You can easily find a gift that will surely make your lover happy if you know much about him or her. However, if you don't even know, say, what his or her's favorite brand of clothing or chocolate is, then you're in much trouble and it's time to really think about the relationship you're in and why you're involved in said relationship.

Always fighting?

That can't be right or good...
Fighting Couple Shouting - Peel & Stick Wall Decal by Wallmonkeys

Lover's quarrel?

How well do you get along with each other?

Think twice about marrying someone that you're always fighting with.

It is normal for couples to fight as it is part and parcel of a romantic relationship.

Sometimes, both of you could be engaged in such full-blown arguments and disagreements but at other times it’s just the teasing banter between the two of you.

A few fights here and there and every now and then should be perfectly normal since no two people are exactly alike.

It's inevitable that there might be some things that you and your lover would end up fighting about.

However, you need to think about how often you fight with your lover.

If you're always fighting, that can’t be normal.

There should be many more times that you're in full agreement with each other than fighting against each other.

Think about why you're fighting with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

What are the reasons for these fights? Would you consider them petty reasons?

Love or Hate?

Are you sure you're really in love? If so, you really shouldn't be fighting with your lover all the time
Couple Fighting - Peel & Stick Wall Decal by Wallmonkeys

Are you fighting because you're just way too different from each other and you end up always clashing with each other? This might be a sign that you're not really meant to be together. You should also think about what kind of fights you have.

Do those fights involve crying for either or both of you? Could these fights possibly lead to violence? If you're planning to marry this person, this is something that you really need to consider because you wouldn't want your marriage to end with either of you being abused emotionally or physically.

Physical attraction

Do you love each other only because of how the other looks?

Do you think that your girlfriend is the most beautiful and most special woman in the whole wide world? Or do you think that your boyfriend is the most handsome and most wonderful man to ever walk the face of the planet? 

Sometimes, physical attraction might be mistaken for love. You look at your lover's pretty face and stunning body and you think nothing or no one could be more perfect and you just feel so deeply in love. But you have to ask yourself, is what you're feeling really love? Or are you simply attracted to your lover because of how exquisitely fine he or she looks? 

While it’s perfectly fine for couples to be attracted to each other, there must be a deeper reason for their feelings. Think of the reasons why you love your would-be spouse and why he or she loves you. Your answers must be more than just because of physical attraction. There must be an emotional bond as well.

After all, neither of you will be young forever. You will age and the question is, will you still love each other and want to be with each other when you're both no longer looking as young and as handsome or as beautiful as before?

Imperfectly perfect love

Do you love your lover in spite of all his or her imperfections and weaknesses?

Accept that no one is perfect.

You and everyone else have bad traits and habits and other imperfections.

There will surely be some things that you won't exactly like or love about your would-be spouse.

Sometimes, these things might get your both into arguments and fights.

Sometimes you might feel frustrated and angry because your lover isn't and couldn't be as perfect as you want him or her to be.

You have to remember that this isn't something that you can change.

No matter who you meet, that person will have his or her faults and inadequacies.

From time to time, you and that person will surely clash because of this.

The trick is finding someone whose imperfections you can live with and vice versa.

You have to be able to accept each other’s imperfections and still love each other in spite of this.

If you've really found the one you want to be with for the rest of your life, you wouldn't begrudge this person his or her weaknesses and he or she will still support you and be there for you though your own shortcomings may infuriate your lover at times.

No one is perfect

Song title: Rebirth by Sha Gojyo (Hirata Hiroaki) from Gensomaden Saiyuki Vocal Album Volume 2

Song's Significance

Why this song?

Rebirth has awesome vocals and an incredibly melodious tune, not to mention meaningful and even quotable lyrics.

It may be a song from an anime series and it may be mostly in Japanese but it does contain some English lyrics.

Parts of the lyrics say: "Don't try to be someone you can't be", "Don't try, try to pretend that it doesn't hurt", and "You don't have to be perfect, cause no one can be".

This can apply to love and relationships as well. Always be yourself and don't ever try to pretend to be someone you're not because your lover should love you for who you are, weaknesses and imperfections included.

Should people rush to get married to someone they've known for less than a year?

Share your opinion...
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Happily in Love



These are just some of the questions you ought to consider before getting married.

Asking these questions should allow you to evaluate your relationship.

You can thus determine if you're really with the right person you want to be with or if you think there’s someone else out there for you.

You should be able to tell if you're really in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend and if you're ready to spend the rest of your life with him or her.  

What’s important is not to rush things.

Take your time to really think things through. Remember to be logical and rational about this.

This can only be good for you in the long run.

In the end, you're just saving yourself from a possible failed marriage, which could lead to either a divorce or annulment.

Such things would just leave you hurt and heartbroken.

Everyone wants to be happy and to find happiness but these things do take time.

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Updated: 06/30/2016, CeresSchwarz
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CeresSchwarz on 08/19/2013

@PurposeEmbraced - thanks. Yes, couples should be able to properly and adequately deal with any conflicts or relationship problems they have without it leading to their eventual separation and much heartbreak for either of them.

CeresSchwarz on 08/18/2013

@Mira - yeah thanks :). Guess it also depends on the couple and how compatible they are, like if they've really met the right one for them. For others, it might really be best to wait a bit at least just so they won't have any regrets.

Mira on 08/18/2013

You're right about the waiting part. In the beginning you don't see things clearly; then you discover the real person. Still, I know many people who got married after 3-4 months and they're happily married. But it's very risky :)

CeresSchwarz on 08/17/2013

@jptanabe - thanks. You're right about that. People really need to think things through first before deciding to get married. Marriage is such an important matter, which involves serious commitment and consideration that it really should not be taken lightly at all.

jptanabe on 08/17/2013

Great article! People certainly get married for the wrong reasons, or without spending sufficient time/thought on preparing - they often think they can just divorce if it doesn't work out. How sad to begin such an important relationship thinking about how to end it! If people can't make a serious commitment to the marriage, they need to think more about whether they should be getting married.

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